EPISODE 9/9/02
Simon Gets Paid

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September, 2002


Monday, September 9, 2002

Scene 1:
Location: Oakdale Memorial Hospital
Scene: Hallway Outside Margo and Katie's Room

SIMON FRASIER, HENRY COLEMAN

>> Simon: Henry!
>> Henry: Will you leave me alone?!
>> Simon: Just the man I want to see.
>> Henry: Where are you taking me?
>> Simon: You're coming with me. You'll see.
>> Henry: Oh, come on!

Scene 2:
Location: Worldwide
Scene: Lucinda Walsh's Office

SIMON FRASIER, HENRY COLEMAN, LUCINDA WALSH

>> Simon: That's it. Sweat over here, Henry. She'll be here soon.
>> Henry: You have no right to hold me against my will.
>> Simon: Yeah? What are you gonna do about it, huh?
>> Henry: That's it, that's it. I've had it. What am I gonna do about it? Come on. Let's go, me and you. It's on. Come on.
>> Simon: Well, Henry, I didn't think you had it in you.
>> Henry: No? I saved your butt in Avanya. I'm gonna kick your butt right here in Oakdale. Come on, let's go.
>> Lucinda: We'll work on the Brussels project, Dan.
>> Henry: That her, that's her, that's her. Come on.
>> Lucinda: I mean, if they're gonna play hardball, we play with them.
>> Henry: Just hide me.
>> Simon: What, you're afraid of her?
>> Henry: Yeah, I'm afraid of her. With you, I get a broken jaw. With her, the pain is endless.
>> Lucinda: Hello, Henry.
>> Simon: Lucinda? Surprise.
>> Henry: Lucinda, hey.
>> Lucinda: Good to see you, Henry.
>> Henry: Yeah.
>> Lucinda: Um, but don't speak again until spoken to, please.
>> Henry: I'd love to stick around, but I have -- oh, I'm already late for this function, and so, if we could just table this for another day --
>> Lucinda: Do as you're told, Henry. It's good for you.
>> Henry: Fine. I was going to tutor some underprivileged children, but that can wait, I suppose. Why not?
>> Lucinda: Well, darling, I guess that was easy. You did it very fast. Good job.
>> Simon: And now to the matter of my compensation plus bonus.
>> Lucinda: Absolutely. Oh, god. Ah! Okay. Cash.
>> Simon: Cash?
>> Lucinda: Cash.
>> Simon: Cash I like.
>> Lucinda: Always cash, cash, cash, and you deserve every single dollar.
>> Simon: All right.
[ Lucinda laughs ] >> Lucinda: You know, darling, it's funny. We started rockily, didn't we? But somehow, we've developed into a splendid team. You're a man I can depend upon, and I -- it's hard to say it. I even have admiration for you, and affection.
>> Henry: And I admire you, too, Lucinda, which is why I'd work for you anytime.
>> Lucinda: Hey.
>> Henry: Do you two want to be alone? I can wait outside. I'd be happy to do that.
>> Lucinda: I think I'll just walk you to the elevator.
>> Henry: All right.
>> Lucinda: All right. Henry, possess your soul in patience, please, and behave yourself.
[ Simon and Lucinda leave, Henry looks at the safe. ]
>> Henry: No, that'd be too easy.

Scene 3:
Location: The Frasier Cottage
Scene: Inside

SIMON FRASIER, LUCINDA WALSH, HENRY COLEMAN
>> Simon: Strip the floors, stain them a little lighter. Once I'm done with the roof, of course, which is gonna take at least a month. [ Knock at door ] Come in, it's open.
>> Lucinda: Oh. So it is! Hi! Hello again. Come on in. Come on in.
>> Simon: All right.
>> Lucinda: This young man is lazy and undependable. But he's all yours to do with as you so designate.
>> Simon: Are you kidding? What makes you think I want him?
>> Lucinda: Well, I mean, don't you wanna get this place spruced up for Katie by the time she comes back from the hospital? Henry's going to assist you.
>> Henry: I'm gonna what? No way. Are we talking about manual labor here? I'm not good with power tools and things like that.
>> Lucinda: I will be paying him handsomely. And all you have to do --
[ Lucinda chuckles wickedly ]
>> Simon: No.
>> Lucinda: Yes. All you have to do is teach him hard work and how to respect authority.
>> Simon: Lucinda, listen, I'll do a lot of things for you, but I can't take on the impossible.
>> Lucinda: Yes, you can. I mean, this place really needs some work. I offered to paint with you, but here's Henry -- able-bodied, committed. With Henry's help, you can do it.
>> Simon: Ah. Fine, fine. No back talk, no bellyaching, all right?
>> Lucinda: That's the spirit. Don't let him get away with anything. Not bloody anything.
>> Henry: Um -- hey, listen, why don't we just do a little side arrangement here? I will give you half of my --
>> Simon: There's a ladder leaning against the house. Get on the roof and remove the shingles.
>> Henry: The roof?
>> Simon: Yeah, the roof. It's up there.
>> Henry: That could be very dangerous. Okay, okay. Okay. Um -- what if I get a splinter?
>> Simon: Well, you can yank them out yourself, or I can use an E.P.P.
>> Henry: An E.P.P., What?
>> Simon: An enormous pair of pliers.
[ Both chuckle ]
>> Henry: That's construction humor. I love that. You have such big tools.

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September, 2002