EPISODE 9/29/06
Simon and Carly Stranded

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September, 2006


FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 2006

Scene 1:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

[ Loud music playing ]
>> Carly: Can you turn that down?
>> Simon: What?
>> Carly: The noise --
>> Simon: The music?
>> Carly: Yeah, it's been rattling my brain for an hour.
[ Music stops ]
>> Simon: So, come on, what do you think? Are we done?
>> Carly: I think we're done.
>> Simon: What is that incredible smell?
>> Carly: Oh, I'm doing a test run of the hors d'oeuvres. I've got enough to feed an army, so just hope that an army of brokers comes through that door in a few hours.
>> Simon: They will.
>> Carly: So, what do you think?
>> Simon: Are you kidding me? The place looks amazing. We should double our asking price. And by the way, I noticed these before. I like the homey touches.
>> Carly: Yeah, I thought you might.
>> Simon: But didn't this go out with the silent movie period?
>> Carly: This is a retro building, Simon.
>> Simon: Ah --
>> Carly: We want it to exude sophistication and a hint of old-fashioned romance.
>> Simon: Well, I'll settle for a hint of cold, hard cash.
>> Carly: Did you say cold?
>> Simon: Cold, green, crisp.
>> Carly: Simon --
>> Simon: Yep, enough to throw around on something frivolous when we're done.
>> Carly: You gotta see this. Simon! Look.
>> Simon: An ice storm this time of year?
>> Carly: Do you notice anything else?
>> Simon: Well, it's pretty dark out there.
>> Carly: The only lights are around here. The power must have gone out every place else.
>> Simon: The roads must be impossible.
>> Carly: It's gonna make it pretty difficult for the realtors to get here, don't you think?
>> Simon: Oh, my god, I do not believe this.


Scene 2:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER, RADIO ANNOUNCER

>> Carly: It's like the whole town's under glass.
>> Simon: Well, at least we still have power. Those real estate brokers may show up yet.
>> Carly: How, by dog sled?
>> Simon: Greed is a great motivator.
>> Carly: Simon, my entire financial future is buried under an inch and a half of ice and there is nothing I can do about it. And who do you think that I ticked off in a past life?
>> Simon: I don't know, but I'll bet it was a guy.
>> Carly: Let's turn on that fancy sound system. See if we can get a weather report, huh? Where is it?
>> Radio announcer #1: The airport is shut down due to current conditions. Over a half-million customers are without power. The governor has declared a state of emergency and ordered all non-emergency vehicles off the roads.
>> Carly: Oh, no!
>> Simon: I know --
>> Carly: Simon, you don't suppose that the brokers are driving around in emergency vehicles, do you?
>> Simon: Not likely.
>> Carly: So, then this whole night, all of this work, it's just been for nothing then?
>> Simon: Oh, come on. Where we are, we are stuck in a five-star penthouse surrounded by all the creature comforts to get us through the storm. That's hardly nothing.
>> Carly: I don't want creature comforts. I want my open house!


Scene 3:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Carly: No cell service.
>> Simon: I'm sure your kids are fine. They're with Jack, right? The man's a cop. He knows how to handle himself in an emergency.
>> Carly: Yes, I'm sure he's been called into work.
>> Simon: So, he would have put them in good, safe hands.
>> Carly: What if they're on the road?
>> Simon: Then Jack has them in one of those emergency vehicles.
>> Carly: Yeah, you're right. You're probably right.
>> Simon: They are probably roasting hot dogs on an open fire, playing games by candlelight as we speak. Speaking of food, I am famished.
>> Carly: How can you think about food right now?
>> Simon: My survival instinct just kicked in. Are those puffy things -- I'm going to go check on the puffy things.
>> Carly: Why? Why is this happening?
>> Simon: Come on, you know what the news is like. They blow everything out of proportion, so people get upset and the ratings go up. I'm sure the worst is over.
>> Carly: Simon, it's a disaster out there. Only an idiot would risk life and limb to come and lay a few bucks down on a condo.
>> Simon: Luckily, the world isn't short of a few idiots.
>> Carly: Let's face it. Tonight is a bust, complete failure.
>> Simon: Oh, come on, there is no such thing as failure. Just delayed success.
>> Carly: Yeah, delayed for how long? A day, a year, the rest of my life?
>> Simon: It's just weather.
>> Carly: Tell that to my checking account, okay?
>> Simon: All right, do you know what? If everything was so bad, then we do we still have power? Come here, come here, come on. Come over here. Now, we are going to put some music on, ladies' choice. And then we are going to sit here until the storm blows over and we will reschedule the open house in a day or two. Okay? See, now, things could be a hell of a lot worse.


Scene 4:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Simon: Let there be light.
>> Carly: Here you go.
>> Simon: And perfect.
>> Carly: Really?
>> Simon: Yup, I've been stuck in a hell of a lot worse places than this. Trust me. You hungry?
>> Carly: Yeah, I'm hungry. I'm hungry, I'm dirty, sweaty -- I'm tired --
>> Simon: You know what? You need to relax. You need to go in there and take a long, hot shower.
>> Carly: And put these grubby clothes back on? No, thank you.
>> Simon: Well, you can always put this on.
>> Carly: Simon, this cost $400. Okay, we are going to put that back.
>> Simon: Oh, you are worth a lot more than that.
>> Carly: It's meant to dress the apartment, not me. It's an accent piece.
>> Simon: Well, I have a feeling that it will accent you a lot better than this apartment.
>> Carly: You're really enjoying this, aren't you?
>> Simon: What, me? Being stuck in a gorgeous penthouse apartment with a beautiful woman. No, enjoy is too tame a word, Carly. I'm relishing every second of it. And you know what? I think you are, too.
>> Simon: Feeling better? Well, you're looking better. Darling, you're like a vision. So, what do you think of this jacket? It's a perfect fit, right? So, it's almost like you had me in mind when you bought it.
>> Carly: It's getting worse out there.
>> Simon: Can't say the same in here.
>> Carly: You see -- you see champagne and candlelight and I see debt. Mountains of it, piling up out there with all that ice.
>> Simon: You see, you've lived in a practical world far too long.
>> Carly: Kids will keep you practical.
>> Simon: Even on a night life this?
>> Carly: Especially on a night like this. You worry about them. You hope that they're safe and warm. That they're not afraid.
>> Simon: Carly, they're safe. They're warm. And they're excited because they have the day off school tomorrow. That's just icing on the cake.
>> Carly: I just wish we could get a weather report, you know?
>> Simon: Um, okay. Cold, wet, and excuse me, icy. Yeah, how's that?
>> Carly: How do you do that? "It's just an ice storm. It's just a busted open house. It's just a couple hundred thousand dollars, give or take a comma."
>> Simon: Well, surrender. That's the secret. If you can't change it, why not enjoy it?
>> Carly: You know something, Simon? You could rub off on a girl.
>> Simon: Is that an invitation?
v >> Carly: These clothes were supposed to give the illusion of romance --
>> Simon: Sethat's where you're wrong, Carly. You see, romance isn't an illusion. It's real.
>> Carly: Well, I'm very glad that I have you here to tell me that I'm wrong. Because I really missed that in a man. So, tell me something. What is Simon Frasier's idea of romance, huh?
>> Simon: I'm glad you asked. See, romance is a man and a woman looking for warmth in a cold and frozen world.


Scene 5:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Carly: It's like a ghost town down there.
>> Simon: Yes, it is.
>> Carly: It's eerie, isn't it? Being so cut off from the world.
>> Simon: Maybe tonight was meant to happen.
>> Carly: Excuse me?
>> Simon: Oh, you want my version of romance, Carly? Well, this is where it begins. In our corner of the world, sparkling like a diamond -- nothing to sustain us but champagne --
>> Carly: Oh, Simon, will you shut up and kiss me?

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September, 2006