EPISODE 9/24/02
Simon And Friends Have A Plan
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Simonscript
September, 2002
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 24, 2002
Scene 1:
Location: Lakeview Towers Hotel
Scene: Hotel Lounge
SIMON FRASIER, PAUL RYAN, HENRY COLEMAN
>> Simon: Any sign of Henry?
>> Paul: No, not yet. Huh-uh. How long did he say it would take to get the equipment?
>> Simon: He didn't. He didn't say.
>> Paul: Simon, how much money did you give him?
>> Simon: Uh, not enough to keep him in martinis.
>> Henry: Barely enough to keep my attention, Simon.
>> Simon: Welcome.
>> Henry: What, were you boys were worried? Huh?
>> Paul: What'd you get?
>> Henry: Ah, the latest in covert operations. The sleek and efficient s-487. My contact says that it is the state
of the art in surveillance. You can just ask his ex-wife and the mailman.
>> Paul: All right, well, maybe we should let him in on what we're doing here.
>> Simon: Or maybe we should wait for Bonnie. What do you think?
>> Paul: Well, Bonnie's already upstairs staking out the room.
>> Henry: "Staking out"? What am I getting myself into?
Scene 2:
Location: Lakeview Towers Hotel
Scene: Hotel Lounge
SIMON FRASIER, PAUL RYAN, HENRY COLEMAN
>> Henry: If it was any smaller, you wouldn't be able to see it.
>> Paul: What's the range?
>> Henry: 300 feet. It's completely wireless. It feeds right into the receiver.
>> Paul: All right, we have to test it.
>> Henry: Yes, you're right, Paul. We have to test it. Why don't you work on the receiver? And I'll have Austin Powers here plant the bug.
>> Simon: No, no, no. You've just been promoted, mate. That's your job.
>> Henry: Uh, no, no, no. No, no, no. My job was to make the buy.
>> Henry: Then have some faith in yourself.
>> Simon: You're -- you're planting the bug, Henry. That is, unless you're so anxious to go back and scrub Lucinda's back.
>> Henry: Oh, come on. No, I'd rather go back to Avanya. But -- look, you don't plant bugs just for the fun of it. Unless you're into that sort of thing. Who is this lawyer and how crooked is he? Guys, I am not doing a b&e without a name, okay?
>> Simon: Well, I guess he's gonna find out sooner or later, especially seeing how he's gonna be in the man's room. Marshall Travers?
>> Henry: Your mother's Marshall Travers? That Marshall Travers? Oh! He's my hero! No, really, the way he made this whole legal system just turn around and scream, "uncle" -- oh, he's brilliant! Boy, if I'm ever in a jam, he's the first man I'm gonna go to. So what does he know that you don't, and how is it gonna make us rich?
>> Paul: No more information.
>> Simon: Sure, promise.
>> Henry: Okay. All right, well, look -- this is starting to smell like day-old fish, this whole operation. So I'm gonna get back to the water cooler. Okay?
>> Paul: You know what, Henry? I've got two words for you -- James Stenbeck.
>> Henry: I've got two words for you, Paul. Forget it.
>> Paul: Well, it's too late, Henry. He can trace this purchase back to you in no time.
>> Simon: Look, it's gonna be all right, Henry. You'll be perfectly safe as long as you do the job right.
>> Henry: What, do you want here? You want -- you want somebody like me to take down someone like James Stenbeck?
>> Simon: Well, I think he's finally starting to get the idea. Welcome aboard, Henry.
>> Simon: All right, Paul. Why don't you go and check out the room that we booked? Make sure it's in range. I'll work the receiver while Henry here finds the perfect position to plant our little friend.
>> Henry: Ah, just like "The Three Musketeers". Weren't they hanged or were they drawn and quartered?
>> Paul: All right, let's go. Bonnie's already in place.
>> Henry: Oh, well, maybe she can make me a drink before Stenbeck calls lights out.
Scene 3:
Location: Lakeview Towers Hotel
Scene: Hotel Lounge
SIMON FRASIER, HENRY COLEMAN, BONNIE MCKECHNIE, PAUL RYAN
>> Henry: Okay. Let's say that I leave my better judgment at the door, give it the day off and go along with this plan. How am I supposed to get into Travers'room, with my teeth?
>> Simon: Hmm. That oughta do it.
>> Henry: Oh, Simon! You're spoiling me!
>> Simon: I know. Two minutes, tops. With that, you should be in that room.
>> Henry: Yeah? Who's my lookout?
>> Simon: Bonnie. If anything comes up, she'll divert Travers.
>> Henry: What? With a cocktail olive and tonight's dinner specials?
>> Simon: And a very nice set of legs.
>> Henry: That's true.
>> Bonnie: Okay. The eagle has flown. Travers is gone.
>> Henry: That's cute.
>> Bonnie: I stayed with him 'til he got in the cab.
>> Simon: All right, Henry. That's you. You're cue, you're on. All right, I'm gonna work our room. I'll stake out in our room and listen for your signal.
>> Henry: Which will be -- what?
>> Simon: Uh, bird noises, whatever.
>> Henry: Bird noises --
>> Simon: Think of something creative.
>> Henry: I'm sure I will. I always do.
>> Bonnie: And what about Paul?
>> Simon: He's been held up. All right, look -- I'm gonna go up to our surveillance room and make sure it's in range. Bonnie, you look out for Travers and make sure he doesn't come back, forgotten something, whatever. And, Henry, you go up to his room now. Get in, get out as fast as you can.
>> Simon: Paul, Paul, sorry to interrupt. But we're on. Sorry.
>> Paul: Gotcha. I'll be right there.
Scene 4:
Location: Lakeview Towers Hotel
Scene: Hotel Lounge
SIMON FRASIER, PAUL RYAN, HENRY COLEMAN, BONNIE MCKECHNIE
>> Paul: All right. Sorry it took so long.
>> Simon: No problem. Look, I checked out our room. It's in range. So we're in business.
>> Bonnie: And still no sign of Travers.
>> Henry: Oh, goody. Great. Well, you know what? I wish I could stick around and help you guys out, but I've gotta get back to Lucinda and help her with a pedicure.
>> Simon: Henry, Henry. Stay, go, whatever. But you're already up to this in your neck already.
>> Paul: He's right. And my father loves to make examples out of people, starting at the bottom. And you, my friend, are about as low as it gets around here.
>> Simon: Victim number one.
>> Bonnie: Fresh for the pickin'.
>> Simon: So you just watch your back now, Henry. Thanks for getting the equipment for us. And you know what? Look after yourself, mate. We'll see you around.
>> Paul: See ya, Henry.
>> Bonnie: Bye.
>> Henry: Guys, guys, wait a second. Wait a second, wait a second. What room is Travers in? 703, huh? Come on. You think I'm gonna let you have all the fun by yourself? Here, put your ears on there, Simon. I'm goin' in!
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September, 2002