EPISODE 9/23/02
Simon Hires Henry

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September, 2002


MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2002

Scene 1:
Location: Frasier Cottage
Scene: Inside

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, HENRY COLEMAN

>> Katie: Oh, no.
>> Simon: Katie, stop. Stop right there. Hold it!
>> Katie: I'm fine.
>> Simon: No, you're not. Here -- come here.
>> Katie: Okay.
>> Simon: I've got you.
>> Katie: I know.
>> Simon: What are you doing? You've already done way too much now as it is. Ah, careful.
>> Katie: Thank you.
>> Simon: You okay?
>> Katie: Yeah, I'm fine.
>> Simon: Now I thought you were asleep.
>> Katie: No, no, I'm not asleep. I was too busy trying to figure out who you're gonna get to help you bug Marshall Travers' hotel room. And I figured it out.
>> Simon: Just let it go. Who -- who, who is it?
>> Katie: Jack Snyder.
>> Simon: Hmm, I wonder who it --
[ knock at door ] >> Katie: Who else is there? Come on, Simon, please tell me! You're driving me crazy.
>> Henry: Simon Frasier, you're my hero. Seriously, man, I owe you my life. Whatever the job is, I am ready.
>> Katie: Simon, no. Oh, no! Anyone but Henry!

Scene 2:
Location: Frasier Cottage
Scene: Inside

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, HENRY COLEMAN

>> Katie: You can't work with Henry! That's the worst idea I've ever heard!
>> Henry: Why don't you just talk about me like I'm not even here?!
>> Katie: It can get dangerous. You know that. So you need someone brave. Henry's a chicken.
>> Henry: Wait, whoa, whoa -- dangerous? What kinda job is this, Simon?
>> Simon: Just the casual bugging of a lawyer's hotel room. What do you think?
>> Henry: Dirty tricks? All right. You came to the right guy. I'm gonna need some special equipment --
>> Simon: All right, get a list together.
>> Henry: I know exactly what to get, but it's not gonna be cheap.
>> Simon: How much?
>> Katie: Don't give him any money. You'll never see him again.
>> Henry: $300 just to cover the basics.
>> Simon: $300? Well, do you take cash?
>> Henry: Absolutely, it's my favorite kind.
>> Simon: One, two, three --
>> Katie: Simon, my pills. I think I need to take some medication. It's in the kitchen. Will you get it for me?
>> Simon: Of course I will, my love. You stay right here.
[ Simon leaves the room. ]
>> Henry: Ow, ow, whoa! Careful of the chest hair. It's paste-on.
>> Katie: Oh, please, Henry. Take the $300 and get out of here.
>> Henry: Why?
>> Katie: Because everything you touch is doomed. Yes, you did a little help in Avanya -- and we really appreciate that -- but it was probably just a fluke. And I don't want it rubbing off on my husband. Please just go.
>> Henry: Or what, half-liver? You're gonna throw a hissy fit, huh?
>> Katie: No, I think I might sick Lucinda on you.

Scene 3:
Location: Frasier Cottage
Scene: Inside

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER

>> Henry: You're just gonna give me $300, Katie? I don't -- I don't know what to say. Gee, I could get all the way to Milltown with that kind of cash.
>> Katie: Knock it off, Henry. Simon's gonna be back any second, and I want you gone. Take the money and go. It's so easy.
>> Henry: No! I'm not gonna do it, Katie. He saved me from Lucinda -- and he's my friend.
>> Katie: Your what?
>> Henry: He's the first friend I've ever had, okay? All right?
>> Katie: So this real? You're helping Simon just to help him, not for personal gain?
>> Henry: Nah. And even if -- even if i didn't, I don't want to do anything that what put >> Simon and Lucinda on my tail. All right?
>> Simon: Babe -- I couldn't find your meds.
[ Laughter ]
>> Katie: I had them all along. Oops.
>> Simon: Oh, really?
>> Katie: And I don't take one for another hour. I'm sorry.
>> Simon: Not a problem. That's fine. So you'll meet me at the Lakeview tomorrow?
>> Henry: Yeah. Yeah. And if you get there first, I'll take one martini, very dry.
>> Simon: Just be there with the equipment. No cocktails.
>> Henry: What about an olive to suck on? I'm just kidding. Come on. I'll see you, Mrs. F. Seriously, I gotta thank you, because you really saved me from Lucinda's sort of happy house of indentured servitude. You know, you are Androcles, and I am the Lion.
>> Simon: What the -- lion? What is --
>> Katie: I think that's Henry's way of saying he's your friend for life. Oh, Simon, that's scary -- really, really scary.

Scene 4:
Location: Frasier Cottage
Scene: Inside

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER

>> Katie: You're trusting a major part of a major operation to Henry Coleman.
>> Simon: Look, he'll be fine, okay? He'll come through. What, are you doubting my judgment?
>> Katie: He's just so weasely.
>> Simon: Is that what you told him when you sent me on that fictitious search for the pills?
>> Katie: The what?
>> Simon: Oh, please. I figured you had something to say to him, and that's why I left you here so you could say it. So, did you?
>> Katie: Yes. Well, I -- I gave him a loyalty test.
>> Simon: Right.
>> Katie: And the weird thing is --
>> Simon: Hmm?
>> Katie: -- He passed. I told him to take that money and run, but he didn't want to cheat you.
>> Simon: Hmm.
>> Katie: Weird.
>> Simon: Well, don't worry, old Henry will resurface sooner or later. And speaking of our old selves, thank you for talking me out of selling insurance.
>> Katie: Well, like I said, life's too short not to be you -- within reason.
>> Simon: Ah, always a catch.

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September, 2002