EPISODE 9/19/02
Simon Brings Katie Home

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Simonscript
September, 2002


THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 2002

Scene 1:
Location: Frasier Cottage
Scene: Inside

SIMON FRASIER, LUCINDA WALSH, HENRY COLEMAN

>> Lucinda: Hmm. Whew. [ Lucinda knocking ] Simon? Darling, it's me. Let me in, will you? Please? I've come with a confession, and I need absolution. I think it was selfish of me that I foisted Henry on you, but I'm sure that you can forgive me, can't you? [ Lucinda knocking ] Simon? Oh, my heavens. I hope they haven't murdered each other. Simon? Forget about everything. All bets are off. It's null and void, the whole experiment. If Henry cannot be taught anything, who cares? [ Heavy metal music plays ] Pardon me for living. [ Lucinda opens the door. ]
>> Henry: You're still getting some bounce. Equalizer should take care of it.
>> Simon: Well, hey, you're the man.
>> Lucinda: What?! Since when?
>> Simon: Are you kidding. This guy, Lucinda -- this guy, he's a genius.

Scene 2:
Location: Frasier Cottage
Scene: Inside

SIMON FRASIER, LUCINDA WALSH, HENRY COLEMAN

>> Simon: Just check this place out. Henry, he can -- he can drywall, spackle, paint, decorate. The dolls, that was Henry's touch. This -- colors. Henry, he knows his colors.
>> Henry: Like a little green and beige. Let's not get carried away here.
>> Simon: All right. Do you know what's buried in this wall, behind this wall?
>> Lucinda: Carpenter ants?
>> Simon: No, about a mile and a half of the most sophisticated wiring. His dad owns an electronics company. Listen to this.
>> Lucinda: Oh!
>> Simon: Watch this, watch this. Lights on.
>> Lucinda: [ laughing ] Brilliant, brilliant.
>> Simon: And the sound system. Listen to this. Check this out.
>> Lucinda: Oh, I don't have to listen to it. I was nearly blown out in the threshold. Henry -- Henry, who knew? Who knew?
>> Henry: What, what? Who knew? I'm -- I'm here in an advisory capacity, all right? Suggestions -- that's my, my long suit, and -- and naps, because I -- [ coughing ] I need a lot of them, because I think I picked up -- [ coughing ] -- picked up something in the tropics.
>> Lucinda: [ laughing ] So I'm gonna go and quarantine myself here.
>> Simon: No, no, no. This one here -- Lucinda, this guy's a keeper.
>> Lucinda: Yeah, we can depend upon that, because Henry and I, we have a great -- a great future ahead of us, don't we? And thank you, Simon, for whipping this young whippersnapper into shape.
>> Henry: If only.
>> Simon: Oh, behave. Now, you know, Katie's getting released today.
>> Lucinda: That's wonderful. Just wonderful.
>> Simon: So I better get going and pick her up. Lights off. You're gonna work on that.
>> Henry: More like "lights out," huh?
>> Lucinda: Oh, Henry, Henry, Henry, who knew?
[ Door closes ] who knew? What am I going to do with you now?
>> Henry: Why don't you let me go?
>> Lucinda: Not a chance.

Scene 3:
Location: Frasier Cottage
Scene: Inside

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, LUCINDA WALSH, HENRY COLEMAN

>> Lucinda: This is just amazing. It's -- you could do my Christmas trees.
>> Henry: Ah --
>> Lucinda: Who knew that you had artistic and creative talent? My heavens, we're gonna make beautiful music together.
[ Simon and Katie begin to enter the cottage. ]
>> Simon: Keep them shut.
>> Katie: Ah! Can I see it?
>> Simon: All right. Open 'em up.
>> Katie: Oh, my god! It's beautiful!
>> Simon: Yeah. That's Lucinda. What do you think of the whole place though?
>> Katie: Oh, of course she's beautiful, but this place! Simon --
>> Simon: Okay, watch this, watch this. Better work this time. Lights on. Yeah.
[ Applause ]
>> Katie: How did you do that?
>> Simon: Henry.
>> Katie: Henry?
>> Simon: Yes. Henry is a genius.
>> Lucinda: It's good to see you. I just wanted to welcome you home. You look wonderful.
>> Katie: Thank you.
>> Lucinda: You need anything, just -- just give me a ring.
>> Katie: Will do.
>> Lucinda: Say good-bye, Henry.
>> Henry: "Good-bye, Henry." Simon --
>> Simon: You're gonna be fine. You're gonna do just fine. Um, Henry is Lucinda's new toy.
>> Katie: Oh, no.
>> Henry: "Oh, no"? You heard that? She said, "oh, no."
>> Lucinda: Darling, she's worried about me, not you -- me, me, all right? Let's leave the lovebirds in their love nest.
[ Simon laughs ]
>> Simon: Bye, Henry.
>> Katie: Bye.
[ Door closes ] I can't believe this. It's so different.
>> Simon: Yes, it is. It is very different. There we are.
>> Katie: Thank you. >> Simon: In fact, our whole life is about to change, and that's a promise.

Scene 4:
Location: Frasier Cottage
Scene: Inside

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, SNICKERS

>> Katie: Oh, come here, my little angel. Did you miss mommy, huh? Did you see what daddy did to this beautiful cottage? It's our little love shack, and it's so beautiful. Okay, now, hush up. Daddy is now going to tell us. We're all ears.
>> Simon: Look, I meant what I said in the hospital about settling down. I made myself a promise that if you go through that surgery, then from now on,everything would be about us -- you, me and the rabbit.
>> Katie: And possibly in the future a little b-r-o-t-h-e-r?
>> Simon: Yes, yes, yes. When you're feeling better.
>> Katie: Good.
>> Simon: But in the meantime, I've got a job. Yeah, a real job.
>> Katie: Doing what?
>> Simon: Selling insurance. Yeah, I convinced the owner of a local agency that if I could marry rich women for their money, then I could sell a few policies. So from now on, it's regular hours, suit and tie, gun to the head.
>> Katie: No, no, no, no. I did not marry an insurance salesman. I married a Simon.

Scene 5:
Location: Frasier Cottage
Scene: Inside

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, BONNIE MCKECHNIE, PAUL RYAN

>> Katie: I don't want you to change. I don't want you to do anything that would make you unhappy.
>> Simon: Look, Katie, you have to make choices in life. I mean, giving part of your liver to Margo cost you something, but it was worth it. Now, I'm willing to change to do whatever it takes, 'cause -- 'cause, baby, you are so worth it. [ Doorbell rings ] Agh! Now you gotta get up to bed. Come on.
>> Katie: Oh, no, no, no.
>> Simon: Yes, you have to rest.
>> Katie: Okay, fine. Only if you promise to get rid of whoever it is and come cuddle with me.
>> Simon: I'm gonna be up straight away.
>> Katie: Okay.
>> Simon: Are you okay?
>> Katie: Yeah. I'm fine.
>> Simon: You are?
>> Katie: I'm doing fine. >> Simon: Yeah? Well, you look fine from here. I'll be straight up. Bonnie, Paul? Hi?
>> Paul: Hey, Simon. How's Katie?
>> Simon: She's doing great. She's just resting upstairs. So, what's up?
>> Paul: All right, we won't stay long. We just -- we have a business proposition for you.
>> Bonnie: We'd like for you to do something illegal.

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September, 2002