EPISODE 9/18/06
Simon Has Too Much To Drink

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Simonscript
September, 2006


MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, 2006

Scene 1:
Location: Santo Domingo
Scene: Hotel Room

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

[ Simon and Carly making out ]
[ Simon gets sick and runs to the bathroom ]
>> Carly: Drink this.
>> Simon: No, no, never drinking ever again. No --
>> Carly: It's bottled water, Simon.
>> Simon: Wow, you really are beautiful. All three of you. You're all beautiful.
>> Carly: Thank you, we all three thank you.
>> Simon: And that's why I'm sick.
>> Carly: Because you think I'm beautiful?
>> Simon: No! Because I drank all those stupid, but very -- very delicious cocktails tonight.
>> Carly: Ah.
>> Simon: That was bad. But kissing you --
>> Carly: Better?
>> Simon: Yeah better -- that was beyond better.
>> Carly: Well that's high praise coming from someone like you.
>> Simon: You know this water seems to be doing the trick. There are only two of you now.
>> Carly: Good.
>> Simon: Now, where were we?
>> Carly: Ahh, let's see where were we? Well, if I remember correctly -- we were right about here.
>> Simon: Oh yes, yes -- do with me what you will. Take control. But be just a little bit gentle -- I'm quite fragile.
>> Carly: All right, big guy? This is not foreplay.
>> Simon: Carly!
>> Carly: Yes -- I'm right here, keep it down.
>> Simon: Shhh.
>> Carly: Did you want to tell me something?
>> Simon: No -- oh, yeah. You know what the worst thing about being divorced is?
>> Carly: What's that?
>> Simon: Losing, too.
>> Carly: Huh?
>> Simon: Losing too. You know, the word , too. Like "I'm having ice cream. Do you want one, too?" "I love New York in spring time."
>> Carly: Me, too.
>> Simon: Yeah, you got it! I love you. I love you, too. When you're divorced, you don't hear that much anymore.
>> Carly: Well, thank you for the preview.
>> Simon: Good night.
>> Carly: Don't sleep -- do not sleep!
>> Simon: Okay -- what are we going to do?
>> Carly: We're going to take a shower. Okay? Come on up.
>> Simon: A shower. Just you and me?
>> Carly: Yeah.
>> Simon: That's going to be hot.
[ Carly laughing ]
>> Carly: All right. Now hold on -- hold on --
>> Simon: Oh this is going to be good.
[ Carly laughing ]
>> Carly: All right --
>> Simon: This is going to be great.
>> Carly: All right, in you go -- well I don't know how you'll feel about this exactly.
[ Simon screaming ]
[ Carly laughing ]
>> Simon: This is freezing!
>> Carly: Yeah, I thought you'd feel that way. It's the best way to sober you up, Simon. Come on.
>> Simon: Ahh! I got to get out. I need -- [ Simon laughing ] Oh, I told you I'd make you scream.
[ Carly laughing ]


Scene 2:
Location: Santo Domingo
Scene: Hotel Room

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Simon: What can I say?
>> Carly: You don't have to say anything.
>> Simon: Oh, boy, I cannot remember the last time I drank so much that I was actually sick.
>> Carly: It's okay. You know, we're probably lucky that it happened.
>> Simon: Okay. Am I still drunk or did that just make no sense?
>> Carly: Obviously, we weren't meant to be together tonight.
>> Simon: Right, right. So what was with all the kissing and groping?
>> Carly: Can we not analyze it, okay?
>> Simon: All right. Or maybe it was just 'cause you weren't ready.
>> Carly: Oh, I was ready for you, Simon. The problem is, you weren't ready for me. Here I come.
>> Simon: Listen, if you need proof that I was ready --
>> Carly: No, no, Simon. Physically -- oh -- physically, you are prime. But emotionally, you're a mess.
>> Simon: And how did you come to that conclusion?
>> Carly: I knew those drinks were lethal after just taking one sip. And after watching you down them one after the other, it was sort of obvious that you wanted to get drunk.
>> Simon: Why on earth would I want to do that? Why would I do that purposefully?
>> Carly: So you wouldn't have to take that last step. You were trying to avoid it.
>> Simon: Oh, come on. If I was trying to avoid you, why was I so quick to rush you up here?
>> Carly: To prove that you wanted me, but you really don't want me. You still want Katie.
>> Simon: Why does every single conversation have to mention my ex-wife?
>> Carly: Well, I'm just keeping it real.
>> Simon: No, real -- real's good. Do you want to keep it real?
>> Carly: Yeah, lay it on me.
>> Simon: All right, I got drunk tonight because I wanted to get you drunk. I wanted to show you a good time, try to take your mind off your pain, but the next thing I knew, my world was spinning and you were still annoyingly sober.
>> Carly: I had the bartender water down my drinks.
>> Simon: Smart. Sneaky, but smart.
>> Carly: Simon -- do you really want me?
>> Simon: Yeah. I mean, you're not scared of my past. You're always two steps ahead of me. And boy, are you unbelievable fun. And looking at you right now -- oh, I got some ideas of what I would like to do. Ideas I promise I will not act on tonight.
>> Carly: Because you can't?
>> Simon: No, not because I can't. No, because I'm going to wait 'till tomorrow afternoon.
>> Carly: What happens tomorrow afternoon?
>> Simon: Well, it gives me tonight to sleep off this -- tomorrow, to recover, and then you and I have a date back here tomorrow afternoon, where we are going to pick up where we unfortunately had to leave off.
>> Carly: No.
>> Simon: No?
>> Carly: No.
>> Simon: Never?
>> Carly: No, not necessarily never. Just no, not right now. We really need to finish the building, okay?
>> Simon: You've got to be kidding me.
>> Carly: And then we're gonna see what happens.
>> Simon: How am I possibly going to do any good work when this is all I'm going to be thinking about?
>> Carly: Just think of it as motivation, as inspiration --
>> Simon: Frustration --
>> Carly: Just get some rest. We'll go back home and the building will be finished soon.
>> Simon: All right. So let me get this straight. The sooner we flip this building, the sooner you and I get to --
>> Carly: Mm-hmm. But Simon, work fast, because I could always change my mind.
[ Door closing ]
[ Simon sighs ]


Scene 3:
Location: Santo Domingo
Scene: Hotel Room

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Carly: I miss being married.
>> Simon: Me, too.
>> Carly: Simon?
[ Carly leaves Simon sleeping ]

Home
Simonscript
September, 2006