EPISODE 9/14/06
Simon Supports Carly
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Simonscript
September, 2006
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2006
Scene 1:
Location: Santo Domingo
Scene: Bar
SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER
>> Carly: It's official. I am no longer Mrs. Jack Snyder.
>> Simon: And can you tell, how does it feel?
>> Carly: Are you kidding? Fantastic! Top of the world!
>> Simon: All right, my lie detector just blew a fuse.
>> Carly: You're right. I've never been so miserable in my life.
>> Simon: Well, it just so happens, I have the cure for what ails you.
Scene 2:
Location: Santo Domingo
Scene: Bar
SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER, GEORGE KIRBY
>> Simon: Gracias. All right, pay attention class. You're divorced. You're depressed. You want all the pain to go away. So, step right up and partake of Dr. Frasier's miracle tonic. One sip and you'll be smiling. One drink, and you'll be bringing down the house. Two drinks, and the guy at the front desk will start to look like George Clooney. And after the pain goes away, we'll hit every night spot on the island and party until the sun comes up. Repeat the process until one day you wake up in the morning and you go, "Jack, Jack who?"
>> Carly: I see. Drink. Party. Amnesia.
>> Simon: Oh, I forgot to mention, you also get to take the glasses home as a souvenir.
>> Carly: Oh, so where do you keep yours, Simon? The one that reminds you how completely over Katie you are? That's why you pushed me to get this quickie divorce, isn't it? Because if Jack and I could be over, well, then maybe, you and Katie could be over, too. So, the hard sells. Drinks, a little dancing, and happy days are here again.
>> Simon: Well, there you go. Worked for me. I've never been happier.
>> Carly: Now who's lying?
>> Simon: All right, touche, you got me. I admit to a twinge every now and again. When you've loved someone so passionately, they're deep in your bones, you can't forget about them overnight. But you do get over it. Slowly but surely.
>> Carly: With the help of Dr. Frasier's miracle tonic.
>> Simon: Of course, that and the right amount of time. Last time I was here, I sat hours on end, on that stool. I was a miserable wreck. Look at me now.
>> Carly: Yeah, look at you now. You can't even say the "k" word.
>> Simon: Oh, Katie, Katie. Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie. See? Not a scratch of me. With the right amount of time, I realized that Katie and I just weren't meant to be. Now, you follow my lead, very soon, you'll feel the same way about you- know who.
>> Carly: It's just strange. Waiting in a line for your divorce to be processed. You know, they actually give you a number, like -- like you're waiting to buy lunch meat or something. And you don't know really whether you want the line to move quickly or slowly. Then, your number's called. And you pay your 200 bucks and one stamp, marriage over.
>> Simon: And you're on to the next big adventure. Looking forward, not back. Carly, I've seen the future, and we are it. Our prospects are huge. Now, that building project back home, that is the birth of an empire.
>> Carly: Well, let's hope so.
>> Simon: The sky's the limit. Sweetie, you and your kids are going to want from nothing. Money, your money worries, they're finished.
>> Carly: I like the snd of that.
>> Simon: So, let's declare this your Independence Day. Come on, raise your glass. Toast, to new beginnings.
>> Carly: Hey, isn't that George Kirby?
>> Simon: Yeah. George Kirby, what the hell is our star investor doing here in Santo Domingo? George! Join us for a drink. George! Whoa, whoa, whoa, George. What are you doing?
>> Carly: Wait, why is he running off?
>> George: I'm sorry. I -- with everything else, I didn't want to face you with the news.
>> Simon: What news?
>> Carly: What news?
>> George: Due to circumstances beyond -- due to circumstances, I'm afraid I'm forced to pull out of your business enterprise.
>> Carly: Like hell you are.
Scene 3:
Location: Santo Domingo
Scene: Bar
SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER, GEORGE KIRBY
>> Carly: You cannot back out of our building project.
>> George: I'm afraid it's beyond my control --
>> Carly: Do you know what a contract is, George?
>> George: Of course --
>> Carly: It's an agreement between two parties that when signed, is legal and binding. You signed such an agreement.
>> George: And I signed it in good faith.
>> Carly: Good faith? What the hell does that mean?
>> George: It means I believed in your project and I was going to back it with everything I had. Until I went broke.
>> Carly: Oh, don't you dare? Don't you dare cry poverty to me!
>> George: It's true. I barely have enough to cover my bar tab.
>> Carly: Since when?
>> George: Since a few investments I made came back to bite me. Well, now that the money's gone, so's my wife. I know sorry won't cut it.
>> Carly: You're damn right it doesn't. Sorry doesn't finish this project. And your lame excuses don't pay the bills. Now, you honor that contract. You honor your word, or we'll sic our lawyers on you so fast, you won't know what hit you!
>> Simon: Whoa!
>> Carly: What is that?
>> Simon: That guy was lucky he got away with his life. You're a regular spitfire.
>> Carly: What are you smiling about? We just lost our major investor!
>> Simon: I got something much better than money on my side.
>> Carly: Like what?
>> Simon: Oh, like you.
Scene 4:
Location: Santo Domingo
Scene: Bar
SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER
>> Simon: All right, that was awesome. No one's ever fought for me the way you just did.
>> Carly: I wasn't just fighting for you. This building project was my future, too. Mine and my kids.
>> Simon: The future's still there. It's all bright and shiny.
>> Carly: How? You said yourself, he was our biggest investor.
>> Simon: He's not the only guy with money in the world. I'll make a solemn promise to you, right here, right now. That you and your kids are gonna be fine. That I will find the capitol to finish our building project. Do not worry.
>> Carly: In the meantime, though, it's back to the drawing board.
>> Simon: The good thing about drawing boards is you can make it up as you go along.
>> Carly: It's just, seems so incredibly unfair! Just when you think your day couldn't possibly get any lousier.
>> Simon: Listen to me, all right. I'm gonna find the money. Paints, carpets, shiny fixtures are all gonna be delivered. Contractors will paid on schedule, and Frasier Towers will be our showcase. Then we're gonna sell the units off one by one and move onto the next thing.
>> Carly: Well, Simon it seems like quite a challenge.
>> Simon: I hope that I don't have to face it alone. It's gonna be a lot of hard work, but I know you're not afraid of that. I also know that as long as you are with me, we will get the job done. Carly? Don't do that. You are with me, aren't you?
Scene 5:
Location: Santo Domingo
Scene: Bar
SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER
>> Carly: You know, I remember Katie telling me right when I signed on with you. She said it wouldn't be long before I realized that this wasn't my dream job and I'd want out.
>> Simon: Is that what you want, Carly? Is that it -- out?
>> Carly: No. I ended one chapter of my life today. And I'd really like to see where this new one takes me. So, to what you said earlier. The future -- all bright and shiny.
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September, 2006