EPISODE 3/25/02
Simon Takes A Job

Home
Simonscript
October, 2002


WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2002

Scene 1:
Location: Lakeview Towers Hotel
Scene: Hotel Lounge

SIMON FRASIER, HENRY COLEMAN, KATIE FRASIER

>> Henry: Now remember, when you talk to Lucinda, to bring up financial backing, okay? No, thank you. She's willing to help a worthy cause as long as it helps her.
>> Katie: No, no, no, no, no. Lucinda owns way too many things in this town already. Why do we have to add our little business to her list? Let's just ask her for advice on structuring a new company.
>> Henry: Fine -- fine, Katie. Fine, fine, fine. Let's move on to the next item here -- our shingle. We need a name.
>> Simon: Shingle?
>> Henry: Yes, a name. We need something that's evocative and attractive, and something that sort of rolls off the tongue, and then hangs there on the lips.
>> Katie: What's wrong with "Frasier, Frasier and Coleman?"
>> Henry: Besides the fact that I'm at the end of that moniker, nothing. But it doesn't tell anybody what we do. So, here. [ puts a business card on the table ]
>> Katie: "Early Bird Surveillance."
>> Simon: "Wake up and smell the coffee."
>> Henry: Oh, the brash young rookie hits one out of the park. It's perfecto, no?

Scene 2:
Scene: Hotel Lounge

SIMON FRASIER, HENRY COLEMAN, KATIE FRASIER

>> Katie: Early bird surveillance. Henry, that's the stupidest name I've ever heard.
>> Simon: Yeah, I had no idea we were starting up a bird-watching club.
>> Henry: You guys obviously don't have any idea about corporate branding, all right? This way, people won't be confused about what it is we do.
>> Katie: I'm already confused.
>> Henry: All right, fine, fine, fine. Just in case, I've come up with a pithy little logo to go along with the name -- wake up and smell the coffee.
>> Simon: The thing is, I thought early birds caught worms, not drank coffee.
>> Henry: Simon, please. Boy, just hang in there with me, will you? Okay, I mean, we could say, you know, "wake up and nail your husband doing the secretary," all right, that's fine. I could go either way. But the point is, when people go through the yellow pages and see us, they need to know that, "A," we know they're getting shafted. "B," they should hire us to dig up the dirt. And "C," they'll get a nice, fat settlement from their attorney.
>> Simon: Henry, this is not the kind of firm we're gonna be. We're not gonna be the kind of people that sneak around in the bushes taking snapshots of steamy car windows.
>> Henry: What do you think private investigation is? What, do you think it's lost cats and murders? I mean, infidelity -- that's the name of the game. Jeez, okay. This meeting is over.
>> Simon: Oh, don't cry.
>> Katie: Henry, don't be mad.
>> Henry: I'm not mad. I'm not crying. I'm just gonna go over and have a drink at the bar and keep my good ideas to myself.
>> Simon: Was it the comment about the worm?
>> Katie: Oh, no, no, no. Henry's just like a spoiled little 3-year-old sometimes. He can't handle the word "no."
[ Simon's cell phone rings ]
>> Simon: [ answering his cell phone ] Early bird watchers association.
>> Lucy: Simon? It's Lucy. Look, something terrible is happening, and I don't know what to do.
>> Simon: Lucy, Lucy. Wait, wait, wait. Slow down. Where are you? What's going on?
>> Lucy: I'm at my Aunt Lily's house. Where are you? Is Aunt Katie there? I really need to talk to somebody.
>> Simon: Yeah, Katie's with me right now. We're at the lounge at The Lakeview.
>> Lucy: Can you just stay here a little while, please?
>> Abigail: Yeah, okay.
>> Lucy: Simon, I'll be right over. Don't move.
>> Simon: All right, all right. We'll be here. [ hangs up ]
>> Katie: What was that about?
>> Simon: It was Lucy. She's freaking out about something. She's on the way over.
>> Katie: Oh, no, not my brother again.
>> Simon: So, what's the early bird policy on dealing with family members?
>> Katie: Early bird says, "Never take sides."

Scene 3:
Scene: Hotel Lounge

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, LUCY MONTGOMERY

>> Lucy: I am so glad you guys are still here. Aaron is being framed for setting the fire at Emma's barn.
>> Simon: What do you mean "framed?"
>> Lucy: Lieutenant Munson thinks that Aaron set a fire so he could save two kids an like a hero.
>> Simon: What?
>> Katie: What would make him think that?
>> Lucy: Try his sister, Abigail. Aaron told her that he'd have to be a hero or something for people to change their minds. So she thinks that he would endanger his little brother's life to do it.
>> Simon: And Will, which is why Hal's obviously after him.
>> Lucy: Yeah. But you've worked with Aunt Margo and Lieutenant Munson. Can't you do something?
>> Simon: Like what, Lucy? This is obviously an official police investigation.
>> Lucy: Yeah, but you have to convince them they have the wrong person.
>> Simon: How am I supposed to do that? Lucy, I have no idea who Aaron even is.
>> Lucy: Yeah, but you could figure out what they're thinking, or you could go to the barn yourself. Please, Simon, Aaron didn't do this.

Scene 4:
Scene: Hotel Lounge

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, LUCY MONTGOMERY

>> Simon: Listen, Lucy, if Aaron had nothing to do with this fire, there's going to be no physical evidence pointing towards him, and he's going to be cleared.
>> Lucy: No, you don't understand.
>> Simon: Trust me.
>> Lucy: You don't understand. Will is still in the hospital, and his father's the Chief of Detectives. Lieutenant Munson wants to blame somebody, and Aaron's at the top of the list.
>> Katie: I know Aaron seems like an easy target, and that's not fair. But if he didn't do anything wrong --
>> Lucy: No, it doesn't matter. This is not going to go away.
>> Simon: All right. I'll check it out. Okay? I'll see what evidence Hal has against Aaron, and I'll snoop around the barn a bit, snoop it out.
>> Lucy: Thank you so much. I have to get back to the police station. I want to be there for Aaron when they tell him that his room was searched. Thanks though.
>> Katie: Good luck.

Home
Simonscript
October, 2002