EPISODE 10/16/06
Simon Explains
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Simonscript
October, 2006
MONDAY, OCTOBER 16, 2006
Scene 1:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Terrace Hotel Room
SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER
>> Simon: All right --
>> Carly: You are lying to me! And Jack was right, which is something I happen to really, really hate.
>> Simon: All right, can you please just calm down --
>> Carly: Calm down! You want me to calm down? You just borrowed a suitcase full of money from a man who enjoys stringing people up by their thumbs -- and you're asking me to calm down!
>> Simon: I told you. I got this from Lucinda.
>> Carly: Right. Right, because why should she write a check when she can wander around town with $500,000 in cash --
>> Simon: I don't know. She had her reasons, all right? Tax purposes or something.
>> Carly: Tax purposes? Right, of course. That makes perfect sense. I believe you now.
>> Simon: All right, what are you doing?
>> Carly: I'm going to call Lucinda, of course. I'm going to thank you for the money. I'm going to ask her if she wants her briefcase back. You got a problem with that?
Scene 2:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Terrace Hotel Room
SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER
>> Simon: You don't need to do that. Fine, all right, the money didn't come from Lucinda.
>> Carly: No kidding.
>> Simon: You see, Mike, being a full-disclosure kind of guy, told her about the structural flaw in the building, which by the way, we can fix -- Lucinda decided to pass.
>> Carly: Mm-hmm. So you went from Lucinda to a sadistic loan shark. That's a sound business plan!
>> Simon: Look, you were so happy, okay?
>> Carly: What?
>> Simon: When you thought Lucinda was going to give us the money, you were so happy. You had this -- this look in your eye, Carly. I just wanted to keep it there.
Scene 3:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Crash
JACK SNYDER, MIKE KASNOFF
>> Jack: So, Katie went to go see Craig?
>> Mike: Yeah, I offered to go with her. He is Katie's family. She's dealt with mine, you know.
>> Jack: Wow. Seeing things from her point of view. Carly and I, we don't manage that too often.
>> Mike: It's never too late.
>> Jack: I wouldn't be so sure about that.
>> Mike: Why? Something happen?
>> Jack: You want to go inside? It's open mic night. You know, we can laugh at other people.
>> Mike: That bad, huh?
>> Jack: Hey, no, Carly and I, we're divorced. Free to -- she's sleeping with Simon.
Scene 4:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Terrace Hotel Room
SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER
>> Carly: All I can say is thank god I didn't sleep with you.
>>Simon: That's one thing that I am actually good at --
>> Carly: No, no, don't do that. Don't be cute or charming or any of those things that -- that you are. I warned you about Spirro. I told you how dangerous he is, and you looked me in the eye and you lied. And now you're telling me that you did it for me!
>> Simon: I can handle this.
>> Carly: No, Simon, you can't handle this. You're just too arrogant to admit it.
>> Simon: This is not arrogance. Carly, it's faith. It's like you said to me after the storm, if you --
>> Carly: What I said was let's keep trying. I didn't say, let's find a vicious guy with a block-long rap sheet and risk everything on a building that could fall over at any moment --
>> Simon: Well, the risk is on me -- the risk is on me, not you.
>> Carly: You are so stupid. You know something, Simon? I'm not the sort of woman who is impressed by a man who does stupid, idiotic, dangerous things --
>> Simon: Well, that's good. Because I didn't do this to impress you. I did this so we can finish what we started.
>> Carly: Do you have any idea what you've done?
>> Simon: I've hurt you and I'm sorry.
>> Carly: No, no. That living the life I live, it's sort of ridiculous to talk about pride, but I do have some.
>> Simon: Lots.
>> Carly: And I have insisted that I can take care of myself. And when everybody told me that you were going to be trouble, and they warned me about you, I said, hey, I'm Carly. I can't be taken, I can't be suckered --
>> Simon: You haven't been.
>> Carly: I have. We're going down. You see, before, we had some problems -- but now, we're going down. And Jack gets to look me in the eye and say, "I told you so." And I just hate that.
Scene 5:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Terrace Hotel Room
SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER
>> Simon: All right, look. This -- this was my stupid, idiotic decision, not yours. So if I am, as you so nicely put it, going down, I promise you, it will be a solo act.
>> Carly: You think that I don't care what happens to you, you think I'm just interested in covering my own butt?
>> Simon: I didn't mean that, I --
>> Carly: You know what, it doesn't even matter. It doesn't even matter if you are the one that gets beat up, because the problem really is that in the end, we both end up a joke. I'm the blonde with the big mouth who screws everything up. And the best part is, I don't even screw it up until I've told everybody in the world how great I'm gonna do, how they're wrong, and I'm right, and I don't need Jack. I don't need Jack for anything.
>> Simon: Well, it wouldn't be right for Jack to say I told you so. All right, listen, this is not about Jack, it's about me. And it's not gonna happen. Carly, you won't be a joke. Now I know I can make this right. Just trust me.
Scene 6:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Crash
JACK SNYDER, MIKE KASNOFF
>> Jack: The way I said that just now might've given you the impression that it bothers me.
>> Mike: No. Just a point of information.
>> Jack: It does bother me for Carly. It's demeaning, her and someone like that.
>> Mike: Jack, that's bull.
>> Jack: I know. I know it is. But I just want to smack him and his smug little Australian accented face, you know?
>> Mike: Who can blame you? If we can see through the goofball, why can't they?
>> Jack: I handled myself well, though.
>> Mike: I'm sure you did.
>> Jack: You see, I most walked in on them in the act, but I let it go, I played it cool. And what I did was, I waited -- and let Carly know that Simon was using a loan shark and that she was an idiot for trusting him in the first place. Of course, I didn't have any proof, but I managed to tick Carly off pretty good.
>> Mike: I don't know if this is proof, but I did tell Lucinda that the building was unstable. Without Lucinda, where would he get the money?
>> Jack: I don't want to be right, Mike. I don't want her --
[ Jack sighs ] Thanks for listening. It couldn't have been fun.
>> Mike: Look, I could be stuck talking to Craig Montgomery right now.
>> Jack: This is definitely better than that.
>> Mike: We're not gonna tell Katie about this, right? About Carly and Simon.
>> Jack: I don't know. It could go a long way to ensure that he's out of Katie's life for good.
>> Mike: Yeah, but I don't like to think how it would make her feel.
Scene 7:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Crash
JACK SNYDER, MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF
>> Jack: You think Katie's really upset about Simon and Carly?
>> Mike: Not that she'd be jealous. It's just that she'd be upset for Carly.
>> Jack: Has she said that? Is it something that she's worried about, them getting together?
>> Mike: It's been a while since we talked about it, but I think so. Look, it's not easy for us to talk about Simon -- we try to avoid that topic.
>> Jack: No, I get that.
>> Mike: I just think that she'd be worried for Carly -- what, being on the rebound, and Simon not exactly being -- a guy that you can count on.
>> Jack: Gee, you think?
>> Mike: I think she's still rooting for you and Carly.
>> Jack: Yeah, well, I think we're in lost cause territory there.
>> Mike: Jack? People can do some really stupid things when they're on the rebound. Sometimes, the more important thing you're rebounding from, the more stupid the thing you do.
[ Jack chuckles ] Carly and Simon --
>> Jack: Mike, Katie's not the only one rooting for us here, is she?
>> Mike: Look, I've never been this happy, and I wish you were the same.
>> Jack: Yeah, well, thank you. Thank you. But you go ahead and be happy, don't worry about me.
>> Mike: Still --
>> Jack: What?
>> Mike: I don't know whether to tell Katie about this or not. Because it would be really fun to prove to her that Simon is just as much a loser as I thought he was.
[ Both chuckle ]
>> Katie: What's so funny? And why are you talking about me and Simon?
Scene 8:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Terrace Hotel Room
SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER
>> Carly: How? How can you make this right? There is no happy ending here, Simon. Is that enough money there to fix the building and then finish it? Because now that word is out that there's a problem with the structure of the building, selling it ain't gonna be easy. Or fast. And so, how long is this loan for? And what's the interest? And what are you gonna do about the fact that Jack is on to you, and he knows where the money came from?
>> Simon: All right, all right, you know what, enough! You've made your point, okay? I messed up. Those problems you're talking about are my problems, not yours.
>> Carly: You've made them mine.
>> Simon: Well, not anymore, because you're walking away from this project and you are not looking back. You walk now, Jack and the whole world will see that you had nothing to do with this.
>> Carly: And what about you?
>> Simon: Who knows? I'll probably get what I deserve. God knows it's been a long time coming.
>> Carly: I don't want that.
>> Simon: Me, either. But most of all, Carly, I don't want to hurt you. I don't even want to come close to making you feel bad. 'Cause you are one hell of a woman. Please, just leave. Go. Right now, just go home to your kids.
Scene 9:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Crash
JACK SNYDER, MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF
>> Katie: Well?
>> Jack: Katie, it was my fault. I was venting about Simon. I was.
>> Katie: Oh, and he was venting about me?
>> Jack: No, no, he was saying how hard it is sometimes being with someone so perfect.
>> Katie: You guys stick together. That's a good one.
>> Jack: Yeah. Well, okay, I've got to go. Have a nice fight. Thanks for listening.
>> Katie: How's he doing?
>> Mike: He's been better.
>> Katie: Sometimes I'd just like to take him and Carly and knock their heads together.
>> Mike: How was Craig?
>> Katie: I don't want to talk about it. So what were you saying about me and Simon?
>> Mike: I don't want to talk about it.
>> Katie: You know, they say that honest communication is the key to a healthy marriage.
>> Mike: We were communicating pretty good at the library.
>> Katie: You know, Mikey, I like the way you think.
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October, 2006