EPISODE 10/11/06
Simon Gets The Briefcase
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October, 2006
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 11, 2006
Scene 1:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Java
SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER
>> Carly: Answer the question, Simon. What were you doing with Spirro?
>> Simon: Spirro? Spirro who?
>> Carly: Are you honestly going to pretend that you don't know who I'm talking about?
>> Simon: See, the only other guy I was talking to was this other customer. He wanted to know what was better, the chai latte or the cappuccino. I said the chai latte is good for a rainy day --
>> Carly: Right, right. Because mobsters often ask for advice when ordering their coffee. And they always shake hands afterward.
>> Simon: That guy's mobbed up?
>> Carly: You know something, Simon, I'm very disappointed in you. I've always known that you don't have much sense, but I thought you had more than this.
>> Simon: All right, Carly, calm down, all right? It was just one of those preliminary maybe we can do business someday kind of chats.
>> Carly: Yeah, well, Spirro doesn't chat. He breaks kneecaps, but he doesn't chat.
>> Simon: Look, all right, somebody gave him my number. He heard that I was in real estate and he came to me about an idea for joint venture. That was it. Strictly legit. But you know what? Bottom line, it's super sweet that you're so worried about me. Super sweet.
>> Carly: Mm-hmm. Yes, well, I am super sweet. Here's the thing, Simon. The one non-negotiable thing.
>> Simon: Non-negotiable. I got it.
>> Carly: If you do business with that man, then I will never again do business with you.
>> Simon: Simon, that man you just shook hands with? Jack told me about the time that someone made a late payment and Spirro actually hung him up by his thumbs.
>> Simon: All right, you can't hang someone up by their thumbs. No, impossible. That didn't happen.
>> Carly: It happened. So what are you going to do? You're going to do business with a guy that hurts people? Or you're going to take the money that Lucinda offered, finish the building and sell the building, and make a big profit while still retaining use of your thumbs? What's it going to be? What's the better option?
>> Simon: Well, I do enjoy the use of my thumbs, so --
>> Carly: Simon, we can do it without him.
>> Simon: We?
>> Carly: We. I told you that I would see it through. But if you get involved with that man, then I'm out. Honestly, because I'm not going to hang around and watch you get hurt.
>> Simon: You do care about me.
>> Carly: Yes, well, you have to care very deeply and strongly for someone before you warn them about a sadistic mobster.
[ Cell phone rings ]
>> Simon: Hello?
>> Spirro: It's Spirro. I'm at your door. You want the money, get here in five minutes or I'm gone.
>> Simon: Yeah, no, no, no, sounds good. Not a problem. See you soon. That was my lawyer, he wants me to sign some papers back at the hotel. I'll catch up with you later on --
>> Carly: Oh, no, no, no, I'm going to go with you --
>> Simon: No, no, don't come with me. It's boring, I'll catch up with you later.
>> Carly: It may be boring, but we have to talk budget, and we can do it on the way over.
>> Simon: Now, you hate to talk budget.
>> Carly: Yes, yes, I do. But if we want to make a profit, it's a necessary evil. So, like it or not, you're stuck with me.
Scene 2:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Lobby
SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER
>> Carly: You're sure that you don't want me to come up?
>> Simon: Carly, it's a lawyer. Who knows how long it'll take. You know, I'd prefer you to stay down here, meet with the supplier -- trust me, I know he'd much prefer to look at you than me.
>> Carly: Just don't dawdle over the legal fine points, okay? Every minute I spend with that guy feels like an hour.
>> Simon: I promise. I'll try to be back by dessert. But if I'm not, call me in the morning and tell me you got a big fat discount out of him, okay?
[ Carly laughs ]
>> Carly: When you talk like that you make me feel like a professional, and not a professional designer.
>> Simon: You know, I think you're doing a great job. You do know that?
>> Carly: Oh, just go talk to the lawyer, okay?
>> Simon: I mean it. You're amazing. You're the most incredible --
>> Carly: I will get a discount.
>> Simon: Okay.
Scene 3:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Room
SIMON FRASIER, SPIRRO
>> Spirro: You kept me waiting. You do not want to keep me waiting.
>> Simon: Right. People to see. Thumbs to break.
>> Spirro: I don't care. There's the money.
>> Simon: Money in a briefcase. Is there a more beautiful sight?
>> Spirro: You can count it, but that would seriously tick me off.
>> Simon: No, Spirro, no. You look like a very trustworthy guy to me.
>> Spirro: Yeah, I play by the book. I expect the same from my clients. I hope your payments are more on time than you are.
>> Simon: Okay. So by the book, this is a 30-day loan.
>> Spirro: And the clock started ticking 25 minutes ago when I was waiting for you.
>> Simon: Right. So the interest on that, that's going to be $100,000.
>> Spirro: That I will count.
>> Simon: Just for clarity's sake here, what if there was some sort of unforeseen crisis and the payment was just a hair, a hair late. What would the penalty be?
>> Spirro: Severe. The penalty would be severe and I can guarantee you would deeply regret having hung me up.
>> Simon: Hung you up.
>> Spirro: There would be a kind of -- what do you call it -- reciprocity?
>> Simon: Reciprocity?
>> Spirro: You hang me up, I hang you up. Got it.
>> Simon: Got it.
Scene 4:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Room
SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER, SPIRRO
>> Simon: I had time to think about it. Maybe this is not such a good idea.
>> Spirro: Maybe you want to stop wasting my time. We have a deal.
>> Simon: We haven't even signed the papers yet.
>> Spirro: The papers? Like I'm going to draw up a contract with my name on it. That would lead to complications.
>> Simon: There's no contract?
>> Spirro: There is, it just hasn't been written down. I'll see you in 29 days, 23 hours and 15 minutes. You will have my money or you're never hitchhiking again.
>> Carly: Simon. Simon, it's me. Open up.
Scene 5:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Hallway
SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER
>> Carly: Come on, Simon. Open the door.
>> Simon: You've got to hide yourself.
>> Spirro: Make this snappy. I got other appointments.
>> Simon: She knows who you are. Just, back there. Thank you. Hey.
>> Carly: Hi.
>> Simon: Well, what are you doing up there? What happened to the supplier?
>> Carly: Well, I cancelled the meeting.
>> Simon: Why? Why, what happened?
>> Carly: Something happened. Something bad. Why are we talking out here in the hallway?
>> Simon: Because -- because --
>> Carly: Simon, what the hell is going on here?
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October, 2006