EPISODE 11/21/06
Simon Talks With Mike

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Simonscript
November, 2006


TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2006

Scene 1:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Outside Shops

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Simon: All right, what's not to enjoy? You modeling anything low cut and I'm a happy man.
>> Carly: Well, you've been a very patient man.
>> Simon: Remember that little red number you got in here? Where is it -- where is it? It's gonna look great with your necklace.
>> Carly: Simon, can we please not talk about the necklace, okay?
>> Simon: I'm teasing you. Will you stop worrying?
>> Carly: Stop worrying about the fact that I'm wearing a stolen diamond?
>> Simon: There's a lingerie store back there. Can we go there please? I want to buy the whole thing for you.
[ Carly laughs ]
>> Simon: What?
>> Carly: I don't believe it.


Scene 2:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Kasnoff Cottage

KATIE KASNOFF, LUCINDA WALSH

[ Katie reading to herself ]
>> Katie: The people of Oakdale think I'm horrible? Let's see how they like having their past misdeeds publicized to the world. Katie Peretti Kasnoff is fighting back. And this time I want the whole world to know whose responsible for Oakdale's darkest secrets going public.
>> Lucinda: Katie, I think maybe you could punch up the climax of the fight scene. Katie? Are you done?
>> Katie: Yes.
>> Lucinda: Oh, I thought we'd never make it!
>> Katie: Yeah, it was harder than I thought.
>> Lucinda: Well you've earned your advance darling. This epilogue is really fresh and riveting. And that's all?
>> Katie: Yep, every last word.
>> Lucinda: Darling, are you sure you want to go in this direction?
>> Katie: I'm absolutely sure. It's the only way I know how to tell a story.


Scene 3:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Outside Shops

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Simon: Okay, when in hell did she find the time to write new material for this book?
>> Carly: I have no idea.
>> Simon: I wonder if we should be worried?
>> Carly: About what? About Katie? No. She roasted me last time and I'm still standing. Look on the bright side. At least it's keeping her out of trouble, right?
>> Simon: Yeah, don't be so sure about that.
>> Carly: Come on. She just lost Mike. She lost you. If she's getting a little publicity from this silly book, then good for her.
>> Simon: Look at you, you're in a generous mood.
>> Carly: I can afford to be generous.
>> Simon: You can afford to be a lot more than generous. I'll tell you what, you sure you don't want to go hide out in I don't know, say Bora-Bora, until this whole thing is off the bestseller list?
>> Carly: How bad could it get, huh?
>> Simon: I really don't want to think about that. I'll tell you what would take my mind off it though. That lingerie store, and you trying everything on.
>> Carly: Right, lingerie.
>> Simon: Yeah.
>> Carly: You got it, you got it.


Scene 4:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Kasnoff Cottage

KATIE KASNOFF, LUCINDA WALSH, HENRY COLEMAN

>> Lucinda: Are you all right?
>> Katie: Yeah, I'm just getting rid of some stress.
>> Lucinda: Well, this is riveting.
>> Katie: Worth the wait?
>> Lucinda: Terrific. I mean it could use a little tweaking maybe here and there, but my heavens the copies are going to be just flying off the shelves of the book stores. And before the holiday season too. Dear, I would just like some word or some sign or guarantee from you that you're at peace with what's on these pages because they cut close to home.
>> Katie: Write what you know, right?
>> Lucinda: And you're not worried about repercussions?
>> Katie: People in the book didn't worry about me or my feelings, so I'm not going to change the names to protect the guilty at this late date. I'm over it.
>> Lucinda: Okay. All right. Well, I know you don't want to talk about it, but I'm sorry about you and Mike.
>> Katie: Lose a husband, gain a bestseller.
>> Lucinda: If only it were that easy. Okay, will you e-mail the pages to your editor? I'm going to hang on to this if I may. And I'll get in touch with the book stores and talk. Get ready for the book signing, okay?
>> Katie: I'll keep my autograph hand in shape.
>> Lucinda: You're going to need it darling. I'll call you. I'll call you.
>> Katie: Thanks, Lucinda.
>> Henry: Knock, knock.
>> Lucinda: Oh, come on in. Hello, Henry.
>> Henry: Hi.
>> Lucinda: Goodbye, Henry.
>> Henry: People come and go so quickly here. What's new at the zoo?
>> Katie: Well, I just finished the new pages for the re-release of Oakdale Confidential. Or, as I like to call it, Sweet Revenge.

Scene 5:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Outside Shops

SIMON FRASIER, MIKE KASNOFF

>> Simon: How you doing?
>> Mike: You know, I've got nothing to say to you.
>> Simon: Just wait. What I got to say may help.
>> Mike: I doubt it.
>> Simon: It is really quite obvious that you and Katie are miserable apart.
>> Mike: You know what, Katie made her choice and it's none of your business.
>> Simon: No, no the thing is there was no choice to ever make, Mike. She always wanted you.
>> Mike: I don't care anymore.
>> Simon: Yeah. Yeah, I could tell that by the way you were just looking at her picture.


Scene 6:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Kasnoff Cottage

KATIE KASNOFF, HENRY COLEMAN

>> Henry: It's a new recipe. It's full of rich antioxidants. Mmm.
>> Katie: Thanks.
>> Henry: It's a nice view.
>> Katie: Yeah, it used to be. Mike built that deck for us to enjoy with our kids one day.
>> Henry: Well, here's to good lumber, and common sense, and good, old-fashioned forgiveness.
>> Katie: Here's to new beginnings. Did you finish reading?
>> Henry: Yeah, right before I mixed these babies.
>> Katie: Oh, that's strong!
>> Henry: Well, your book inspired me. It did.
>> Katie: What did you think?
>> Henry: I think it's going to kick things up a notch around here.
>> Katie: Did you like it?
>> Henry: I had a better question. Do you plan on staying in town?
>> Katie: Oakdale's home. Why should I hang my head in shame?
>> Henry: Or hide out for fear of retribution.
>> Katie: Everybody else has gone on with their lives, Henry. They all get to be happy. Why can't I?
>> Henry: Pardon me for pointing out the obvious, but you don't look too happy. And Mike? And Jack? They're not exactly jolly either.
>> Katie: Yeah well, this is about Simon. I'm so sick of that man getting away with every little thing he does. He and Carly are going on like nothing ever happened. So, hopefully, once this new edition hits the stores, it will be a nice little wake-up call. And they'll be miserable, too.
>> Henry: What's the point of having a bestseller and getting revenge, if it makes you as miserable as they are?


Scene 7:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Outside Shops

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER, MIKE KASNOFF, LUCINDA WALSH

>> Simon: Listen, Mike, I have admittedly done a lot of wrong things and the worst are with Katie, okay? And I'm sorry for that. It was just hard to see her and let her go, you know?
>> Mike: Well, you got a clear shot at her now. She's free.
>> Simon: Well, the point is nothing's the same anymore, anyway. Okay, and it never will be. Look, I'm with Carly now. You and Katie need to find a way back together.
>> Mike: Go to hell.
>> Simon: Okay, fine, I'll go to hell. It's probably where I belong anyway. But you need to know that Katie, she does still love you.
>> Mike: Okay, I don't buy that. And I don't understand any of you. If I tell someone I love them, then I've made a commitment to them. For better or for worse, okay? I don't hurt people because I can. And I don't have sex just to decide which woman I want to be with.
>> Simon: That's not the way it was meant to be.
>> Mike: Well, it looks like it was.
>> Carly: Mike, I understand that you're hurt but --
>> Mike: How can you even give this guy another chance? You know how it's going to end up.
>> Lucinda: Hey, hi, darling. Oh, sorry. Did I interrupt something?
>> Simon: No, no, it's nothing.
>> Lucinda: Nothing. Nothing. I happen to know, unfortunately, there's a lot more to that nothing than any of you want to admit. Well, darling, I hope it doesn't turn around and bite you on the backside.


Scene 8:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Kasnoff Cottage

KATIE KASNOFF, HENRY COLEMAN

>> Henry: This is quite a hit list.
>> Katie: They're called characters, Henry.
>> Henry: Really? Because the character of Jack Snyder seems an awful lot like the real Jack Snyder. He's got three kids, a racy little wife. That woman sees more action than a thoroughbred.
>> Katie: God, that's a good line. I should have used that.
>> Henry: And what about Mike? Do you want to kick the guy when he's down?
>> Katie: Well, I love Mike. This isn't about Mike. He's not in my life anymore. He left me all alone, Henry.
>> Henry: That's a subject I'm somewhat familiar with. I know you want to step back and take some swings, right?
>> Katie: You felt that way about me?
>> Henry: Figuratively speaking, yeah. And then I realized that if I hurt you, I would just be hurting myself more. And I couldn't have that. I know if my bubbles ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
>> Katie: Well, bubbles ain't happy.
>> Henry: Without Mike.
>> Katie: I miss him so much, Henry.
>> Henry: Then why, if you love him, why hurt him with this book? Please, tell me why? He has his pride, Katie. And the only thing he loves, almost as much as you, is his privacy. I'm telling you, if this thing goes to print, I'm guessing that any shot that you had at getting Mike is gone.


Scene 9:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Outside Shops

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER, MIKE KASNOFF

[ Simon watching ]
>> Mike: You know, this good friend angle only goes so far.
>> Carly: You are a good friend. You're one of the best I've ever had.
>> Mike: I can't listen to this.
>> Carly: So being miserable? It's a much better choice, right?
>> Mike: No, moving on is a better choice.
>> Carly: Mike, you can't even move past a bookstore window. How are you going to move on past Katie, huh?
>> Mike: It's not your problem. Why don't you just go be with your boyfriend?
>> Carly: You really hate seeing us together that much, huh?
>> Mike: I just can't stand seeing you waste your time on that guy, okay? He wrecks people's lives. Think about that before you get in too deep.


Scene 10:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Outside Shops

KATIE KASNOFF, LUCINDA WALSH

>> Katie: Oh, Lucinda, thank God I found you. I need the pages back.
>> Lucinda: Oh, darling, it's too late. They're out of our hands.
>> Katie: No, get them back!
>> Lucinda: I can't. We have a contract.
>> Katie: I know. I will write you something else. I'll give the money back, whatever you want.
>> Lucinda: Katie, darling, you met the deadline, you're going to be in print again to great acclaim, I'm sure.
>> Katie: No, I just -- I need to make a few changes.
>> Lucinda: This is just pre-publication jitters.
>> Katie: Lucinda, stop the book, please!
>> Lucinda: I can't. The new edition is being born. There's nothing we can do about it. Sorry.
[ Lucinda sighs ]
[ Katie sees Carly, Simon, Mike ]

Home
Simonscript
November, 2006