EPISODE 11/08/06
Simon Is Confused

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Simonscript
November, 2006


WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 08, 2006

Scene 1:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Carly Snyder Home

MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Mike: Hey, it's okay. I'm not going to take that job in Chicago. All right? I wouldn't leave you like that. We'll try again.
>> Katie: No.
>> Mike: This isn't about getting pregnant, is it? Did something happen?
>> Katie: Kind of. [ Katie remembering ] Mike, I'm so sorry.


Scene 2:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Room

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Carly: Oh, I am such an idiot. I leave this long and detailed message about how you were right and I do care about you and I want to be with you, and your response to that is not to call me back, it's to take a shower.
>> Simon: Well, you see, it just didn't seem like a phone thing. I was gonna --
>> Carly: Oh. Oh, you were going to shower up and put on a nice suit and come sweep me off my feet?
>> Simon: Carly, we talked -- okay? And you were adamant that there was nothing going on between us. So, when I left your house, I thought that was it. That we were, you know, done with.
>> Carly: Right. But I realized, among other things, that I wouldn't have been so adamant if I wasn't, you know, attracted to you.
>> Simon: Right.
>> Carly: This would be a really good spot for you to jump in with something about how you're equally attracted to me.
>> Simon: I told you so many times how attracted I was to you. I showed you so many times.
>> Carly: Well, what I'm saying now is, let's see where this takes us, see how it plays out. And you're saying? Okay. Okay, just as I thought, you're keeping something from me. Simon, I really hope that you don't make me drag it out of you. But I will, if I have to.
>> Simon: I'm going to go put some clothes on.
>> Carly: Now, that's the last thing I expected you to say.
>> Simon: I'll be right back.
>> Carly: Well, tell me something, Simon. Did you listen to the entire message?
>> Simon: Yeah.
>> Carly: So, you heard the part where I said that I was wrong? You know I never, ever admit when I'm wrong.
>> Simon: Yeah, you said that in your message, too.
>> Carly: Maybe you didn't hear the hidden message, which was, if I said something that hurt your feelings, I'm sorry. And that, too -- that's something that I very rarely say.
>> Simon: Why are you sorry?
>> Carly: Because I said mean things to you. And because I came very close to telling you to get lost.
>> Simon: Well, I said some pretty blunt things, too.
>> Carly: We don't really seem to be communicating very well here, Simon. You got through to me. And not just about us. Afterwards, when I was talking to Jack, I told --
>> Simon: Jack? Whoa, whoa. Afterwards, Jack?
>> Carly: He came back. He told me that he wanted us to try again.
>> Simon: After you left that message for me?
>> Carly: Right.
>> Simon: Right. Oh, so now you're afraid you're going to hurt my feelings if you want to take that message back.
>> Carly: Oh, no, no, no, no! I told him what I should have told him in the first place. That it is definitely not just business between you and me, and that as far as he and I are concerned -- well, that the ship had sailed.
>> Simon: Okay, so Jack wanted you back and you said no?
>> Carly: Simon, if you hadn't told me off about him -- if you hadn't made me look at that relationship in a whole new way, I never would have had the strength to say no to him. But because of you, I did. And it was the right thing to do.
>> Simon: Because of what I said?
>> Carly: Well, maybe not just because of what you said. I suppose that kissing might have had something to do with it.
>> Simon: Oh, I can't believe it. I can't believe you're telling me this now.


Scene 3:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Kasnoff Cottage

MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Mike: Hey, I mean this. I want you to stop saying you're sorry.
>> Katie: Mike, you don't understand.
>> Mike: No, I understand that you were upset and I shouldn't have left you, and I'm the one who's sorry.
>> Katie: No, no --
>> Mike: Don't be unhappy. I hate seeing you unhappy.
>> Katie: Don't be so nice to me.
[ Katie screams ]
>> Mike: Hey, hey. Whoa, what happened? Whoa, whoa. Come here, come here, come here. You got glass in there.
>> Katie: It's okay.
>> Mike: No, it's all over the floor. What happened?
[ Katie remembering ]
>> Simon: It's in a box filled with things that remind you of me.
>> Katie: It doesn't remind me of you, it reminds me of Mike. Give it back.
[ Glass breaking ]
>> Mike: Katie. Hey. What happened?


Scene 4:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Kasnoff Cottage

MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Mike: How did the glass get all over the floor?
>> Katie: I -- dropped something.
>> Mike: All right, I don't want to be a know-it-all or anything, but when you drop glass, you might want to put some shoes on, sweetheart. Do you want to go to the emergency room?
>> Katie: No, no, it's fine.
>> Mike: All right. Okay, I want you to stay off of it so it doesn't open up again.
>> Katie: Right.
>> Mike: So, how do we play this?
>> Katie: What -- I don't know what you mean.
>> Mike: Yeah, you do. Obviously something is bothering you. You don't want me to talk to me about it. So, should I just ask you a bunch of questions or pretend like nothing's wrong?
>> Katie: No, you're right. Something's wrong. I made a huge mistake, Mike, and you deserve to know about it.


Scene 5:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Room

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Carly: I'm confused. How was I supposed to tell you something that Jack said before he said it?
>> Simon: It's just weird, you know? I mean -- okay, so I'm at your house, and you're giving me reason after reason after reason of why we can't go any further. And then now you're telling me that you turned Jack down because of what I said.
>> Carly: I thought that's what you wanted?
>> Simon: Well, I'm really confused, as well, because I heard you. You said no, very clearly.
>> Carly: Right. But that was just a reflex. But then I thought about it and I saw how wrong I was. Come on, Simon. You've got to give me a break. I mean, earlier, you told me that what I've been basing my life on for a very long time here was bogus. And now you're mad because it took a little while for it to sink in?
>> Simon: Yeah, I am -- no, no. Why are you even listening to me, huh? I mean, god, you never listen to me.
>> Carly: Simon? Do you think that I'm asking you for some kind of commitment? Is that what this is about? This is cold feet, right?
>> Simon: No.
>> Carly: Because I am not stupid. I'm not looking for a rose-covered cottage and eternal domestic bliss with a commitment-phobic jewel thief. All I'm saying is what I thought you were saying, that we should see where this takes us, you know? Play it out.
>> Simon: Yeah, yeah, I know. I know, I know.
>> Carly: You're freaked out. I can tell that you're freaked out. And I understand, because I was freaked out when you were talking about how you thought that I was using Jack and the children to hide
. >> Simon: Oh, come on, why did you even listen to me? What the hell do I know about relationships anyway, huh? Me? I was just shooting off at the mouth, you know? I wanted you, so I said whatever came into my mind
. >> Carly: You always say anything get what you want, don't you? But this time, I think you were right.
>> Simon: Me? Right? Okay. I was?
>> Carly: Yes. Simon, if in the last few months, I hadn't felt more alive than I have in years, then those words that you said, they wouldn't have meant anything. What? I'm just repeating something that you said. Why do you look like this? Why do you look so upset about it?
>> Simon: All right, when I told you that I was crazy about you and that you are really beautiful, and funny and sexy -- all those things are true, okay?
>> Carly: Uh-oh. So why does you being crazy about me sound like some big, fat roadblock?
>> Simon: Because -- and this is fairly new to me -- because maybe I don't want to hurt you.


Scene 6:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Room

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Carly: And how exactly are you going to hurt me?
[ Simon remembering ]
>> Carly: You would have me stealing the crown jewels and then jetting off to Morocco for some couscous!
>> Simon: You're damn right I would, because that's life!
>> Carly: And all Katie would have to do is crook her little finger and you'd leave me high and dry with some camel!
>> Carly: No response. Well, I can see that we aren't what we were.
>> Simon: Okay, Carly, you told me that what I said to you didn't register until after I left. Maybe it's just the same for me as well.
>> Carly: And?
>> Simon: I think you said a lot of really right things about me. I mean, for one, we're talking about me here. I am so not a guy you can count on.
>> Carly: Oh, no, no, really, you? So all those times that you lied to me and conned me and stiffed me for the bill, that was all part of a pattern? All those times that you left Katie high and dry, that meant that you were unreliable?
>> Simon: You really don't know the half of it.
>> Carly: I do. I know it all. And that's the beauty of it, Simon. We know the worst things about one another, and it's okay. Me, for yes trying to be somebody that Jack wanted me to be, that wasn't okay. That was exhausting.
>> Simon: Okay, just because Jack was judgmental about you doesn't mean you should be with me.
>> Carly: He just made a mistake. He married me and he thought that he knew me. But he didn't really know me, he didn't know what I was capable of. But you do, Simon. You know all my weaknesses, I know yours. There's nothing you could do that would surprise me. And really, I expect very little of you. Just fun.
>> Simon: Well, we did have fun, didn't we?
>> Carly: Past tense.
>> Simon: You said it yourself, we were on a high. You know? It was just a one-shot deal.
>> Carly: And you said that the fun was indicating that something good was happening.
>> Simon: Carly --
>> Carly: Oh, no. No, no, no, no. No. No, I hate that, when I hear my name and it's low and sympathetic, like I'm being let down easy. And I especially don't want that from you. So here's the deal. I came here to tell you that I want you. And based on what you said earlier, I thought you wanted the same thing. Now, just give it to me straight. Was I wrong?


Scene 7:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Room

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Carly: I am not completely naive. Woman throws herself at guy, guy not thrilled but wants to act like a gentleman. So, the result? Many awkward pauses.
>> Simon: Okay, no, no, no. You didn't throw yourself at me.
>> Carly: No, see, you keep doing this. You're focusing on these minor details and you're not going to discuss the giant, stinky elephant in the corner?
>> Simon: Look, I told you, Carly. I don't want to hurt you.
>> Carly: Stop it. Stop. The next thing I know, you'll be telling me that you always want us to be friends. Boy, does this scream for a hasty exit.
>> Simon: Carly, just
>> Carly: What? What is it, Simon? And it better be good.


Scene 8:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Room

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Carly: What did you want to tell me, Simon?
>> Simon: Just -- take care, okay?
>> Carly: You know, I didn't think it would last long. I thought it would be at least a couple of hours.
>> Simon: I'm sorry.

Home
Simonscript
November, 2006