EPISODE 11/29/01
Katie Thinks It's Her Wedding Day

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November, 2001


THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 2001

Scene 1:
[ The Lakeview Dining Room ]
[ Entrance to the Dining Room ]

>> Simon: Hi. Is my gorgeous wife here yet?
>> Maitre d': No, Mr. Frasier, just her brother. Would you like to be seated at his table?
>> Simon: No thanks.
>> Maitre d': Fine. Please follow me.
[ Carly's Table ]
>> Carly: That is enough! I told you, this is my decision and my decision alone, so just butt out!
>> Rose: Way out!
>> Carly: And Rose, on that very cold day in hell when I would like your input, I'll be sure to ask you for it.
>> Rose: You know what? I'm just trying to get some solidarity here. What the heck is that? [ Here Comes the Bride plays from a boom box as Katie walks in wearing the wedding gown that Carly designed ]
>> Katie: Thanks for the gown.
>> Carly: That's my dress from the show. What does she mean, "thanks?"
>> Katie: Craig, this would be a good time to start walking down the aisle. Oh, I know it's not exactly an aisle, but you know where I need to end up, right?
>> Maitre d': Mrs. Frasier, we're not set up for this.
>> Katie: Oh, sorry. Excuse me, everyone. I know this is a little bit of a surprise, but it's supposed to be. I'm Katie Frasier. Welcome to my wedding. Hey!
>> Carly: Get out of my dress!
>> Katie: My husband bought this for me.
>> Simon: Katie, excuse me. What are you doing?
>> Katie: How do I look?
>> Simon: You look beautiful --
>> Katie: Even though the dress is a little long?
>> Carly: It's long. It wasn't made for you.
>> Katie: So what if he bought it off the rack?
>> Simon: I didn't buy it.
>> Carly: He didn't buy it. It's a one of a kind from my collection, Katie.
>> Katie: You borrowed a haute couture gown?
>> Simon: No, I didn't borrow anything.
>> Katie: Don't worry, I won't get any wedding cake on it, so relax.
>> Carly: Relax? [ Carly laughs ] She's your sister. Fix this.
>> Craig: I thought you didn't want me involved in your business.
>> Carly: This isn't business, Craig. This is a nut job who's gotten her hands on a dress you were supposed to have signed for.
>> Craig: Well, I don't know how Katie intercepted it, but I'm sure it will get back to you as good as new.
>> Carly: You just wedding march yourself upstairs and get yourself into another outfit!
>> Katie: Just as soon as I get married. Okay, should we get this thing started?
>> Simon: Yeah.
>> Katie: What's so funny?
[ Simon laughs ]
>> Simon: You, sweetheart. Wait a second. Excuse me. Folks, look, please, just go back to your lunches and enjoy. There's nothing more to see here. No more wedding bells, just false alarms.
>> Katie: Oh, you mean this isn't -- ?
>> Simon: Yeah. No, not today. No, we're not. Okay, let's get out of here.

Scene 2:
[ The Lakeview - Craig's Suite ]

>> Katie: What are you doing?
>> Simon: [ blocks the front door with a chair ] Making sure your brother doesn't interrupt us.
>> Katie: Oh, no, no, no. If you think even for one minute that --
>> Simon: Come here, baby!
>> Katie: -- I'm going to do anything romantic with you, you're nuts!
>> Simon: Yeah, I may be nuts, but if you were really angry with me, you would've already stormed out the door by now. Ah, ah, ah! [ They kiss and then Katie pulls Simon's ear ] Ow!
>> Katie: Surprise.
>> Simon: Ow, what has gotten -- what was that for?
>> Katie: It's hard not to know what's coming next, isn't it?
>> Simon: All right, I'm sorry.
>> Katie: Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was? In front of all those people? Am I supposed to just embarrass myself every day until the day that we get married because I don't know when we're gonna get married, because you don't have the common decency to tell me about it?
>> Simon: Katie, you're right. You're right.
>> Katie: I mean, I wanted to be the most beautiful bride that you have ever seen. So forgive me if I'm walking around with my hair and makeup all done in borrowed wedding gowns.
>> Simon: You win.
>> Katie: I mean, whoever heard of a surprise wedding? Come on, Simon -- what did you say?
>> Simon: What? Oh, I said "ow, ow, ow" 'cause you tried to Vincent Van Gogh me. And then I said -- I said, "you're right." And then I said -- yeah, "you win."
>> Katie: I win?
>> Simon: Yes. Look, I only wanna give you the most perfect wedding even, not drive you crazy. Okay, so here it is. Listen up. Your wedding is gonna be on --
>> Katie: [ puts her hand over Simon's mouth ] No, no, no, don't you dare tell me! I don't wanna know.

Scene 3:
[ The Lakeview - Craig's Suite ]

>> Simon: Let me see if I can understand Katie logic here. You don't want the wedding to be a surprise, but you also don't wanna know when or where it is. Is that right?
>> Katie: Well, that way we keep the laws of the universe in balance.
>> Simon: Okay, you lost me at hello.
>> Katie: It's one of the mysteries I learned at the ashram.
>> Simon: Oh, the ashram. Okay, Katie, cosmically --
>> Katie: Yes?
>> Simon: -- You were only there for about four seconds.
>> Katie: Yell, I'm a quick study. See, this is what's called the law of compensation. If I do something, you have to do something that matches it or the whole world gets out of whack. See, that's what been happening here. So I'm always surprising you. Now it's your turn to surprise me. Just don't make it too big of a surprise, 'cause I don't wanna get married on a sheep station or something.
>> Simon: What, no sheep station? Oh, no, I'm gonna have to give my Uncle Angus a call. He's gonna be really disappointed. I'm joking.
>> Katie: Good.
>> Simon: But I'm not joking about this. Look, our wedding -- I don't know if it's going to fulfill all your wildest dreams, Katie. It is definitely gonna fulfill one of mine.
>> Katie: What's that?
>> Simon: To marry for love. To marry a woman so extraordinary that she makes me both proud and humble all at the same time. And I never thought that such a woman existed until -- until I met you. And there has never been a time that I haven't looked into your eyes and known that you have loved me. And I have given you every reason to wonder if that love was ever gonna be reciprocated, but you never flinched. So on our wedding day, I'm gonna give you all the proof that you'll ever need. 'Cause when you walk down the aisle, Katie, I am gonna be waiting for you. And when you look into my eyes and see that love, the love that you see there right now, it is gonna be there, for a lifetime.

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November, 2001