EPISODE 5/7/01
Katie Plans To Find Simon's Diamond

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Simonscript
May, 2001


MONDAY, MAY 7, 2001

Scene 1:
Location: Lakeview Towers Hotel
Scene: Craig Montgomery's Suite - Katie and Simon's Room

KATIE FRASIER AND SIMON FRASIER

[Katie walks in to find Simon playing the guitar]
>> Katie: That guitar is the best investment I ever made. I love hearing you play. No, no, no, no. Don't stop.
>> Simon: I'm not really in the mood anymore.
>> Katie: Because of Lily?
>> Simon: You going to get some dinner now or what?
>> Katie: You know, if you want to talk about it, I promise I won't get disturbed --
>> Simon: It's absolutely the last thing in the world I want to talk about.
>> Katie: Okay. Well, if it will make you feel better --
>> Simon: I don't want you to worry about my moods, or my tone of voice or - in fact, the best thing you could do right now is forget about me altogether.
>> Katie: Well, if I could do that, I would have done it a long time ago. But forgetting about you stopped being an option the minute we kissed. And when we made love --
>> Simon: Katie?
>> Katie: -- Impossible. You might as well face it, Simon, with every day that passes, I only love you more.

Scene 2:
Location: Lakeview Towers Hotel
Scene: Craig Montgomery's Suite - Katie and Simon's Room

KATIE FRASIER AND SIMON FRASIER

>> Simon: How can you say that, all right? I am the worst thing that could possibly have happened to you, Katie. I'm a broke, lying, cheating illegal alien who doesn't even love you!
>> Katie: Every couple has problems.
>> Simon: Okay, does every wife have a husband who can't even keep a job?
>> Katie: Craig fired you?
>> Simon: No, no, but he came close. It doesn't matter, I'm gonna quit. I'm sorry, but I have to say this. I cannot continue to work for that dirtbag brother of yours, all right? He is total scum. He's worse than me, and that's saying something.
>> Katie: Don't talk about yourself like that.
>> Simon: It's your brother I was talking about! Defend him!
>> Katie: And you're my husband! And I like you a lot better. Besides, if you weren't working for Craig, you wouldn't have to hang around with that Ruby slut, which would suit me fine.
>> Simon: He'll probably kick us out of this place. Huh? Are you that prepared to become homeless with me?
>> Katie: We'll find something to do.
>> Simon: Oh, Katie, you have gotta stop attaching yourself to me like this, and start thinking about what you want out of life!
>> Katie: I want you. Whatever Lily did to you today, I'm sorry about that. You can tell me that you don't believe in love anymore, and that there's a million reasons that we don't belong together, but it doesn't change the way I feel.
>> Simon: Listen, Katie, I have hurt enough people. Do you know what I'm doing here? I'm trying to make things right. Do you have any idea how beautiful you are, any?
>> Katie: You really think so?
>> Simon: Yes. And your mind, it is brilliant. You deserve a chance to use it, you know, a real life. That's why if we annul this marriage you can go back to college --
>> Katie: No, Simon! You're not like some new toy that I'm just gonna get sick of and throw away. What I feel for you is gonna last for forever.
>> Simon: It can't. It can't.
>> Katie: But those vows that we said -- that we rushed through. I meant them. I practiced them that day. I wanted to love, honor and cherish you.
>> Simon: And I wanted Lily. And look how that worked out. It didn't work out. Look, before you met me, you had a nice home, a good job, a future. And what's happened since? You've lived next door to a garage, you've slept in a car, you've almost been arrested.
>> Katie: Yes, and I wouldn't change any of that. Because I was with you.
>> Simon: Oh, my. I give up. I can't do this.
>> Katie: Where are you going?
>> Simon: Just out.
>> Katie: Okay, I'll wait up.
>> Simon: Don't!
[Simon leaves]

Scene 3:
Location: Lakeview Towers Hotel
Scene: Craig Montgomery's Suite

KATIE FRASIER AND HENRY COLEMAN

>> Katie: Oh, took you long enough to get here.
>> Henry: Well, it's good to see you, too, Peretti. Well, hello. I -- I wanted to talk to you about this letter of recommendation from Craig.
>> Katie: He said it was perfect.
>> Henry: Yeah, and then I re-read it. Since when does Craig spell "recommend" with two C's? Hmm?
>> Katie: He's an executive, not a secretary. Besides, no one will even notice that. And we have much more important things to talk about.
>> Henry: Oh, goodie, another opportunity to motivate the Australian. I can't wait.
>> Katie: See, I realized something today as I was eavesdropping on Simon and Lily, and that is that it is over between them.
>> Henry: Again?
>> Katie: Forever, this time. See, that love would've never happened if Simon didn't come to town looking for a diamond he thought Lily had. Get it?
>> Henry: No.
>> Katie: Simon saw Lily as a way of getting rich. He fell in love with her as an afterthought, and he can do the same thing with me.
>> Henry: Katie, Katie, we've been over this. You don't have any money.
>> Katie: I know, but it's a diamond that Simon wants.
>> Henry: You don't have any diamonds.
>> Katie: I know, but I have --
>> Henry: Not even a cubic zirconia.
>> Katie: I know, but if --
>> Henry: I mean, that probably isn't even a real gold wedding band.
>> Katie: Are you listening to me? If I had a diamond, then Simon would pay attention. He would follow me to the ends of the earth to get it. And then he would fall in love with me in the meantime.
>> Henry: Like that'll ever happen.
>> Katie: Simon said I was beautiful today. And brilliant. He's this close to falling in love with me. All I need is a few shiny, hefty carats to seal the deal.
>> Henry: I see where this is going. Katie, I'm many things, but I am not, nor have I ever been, a cat burglar.
>> Katie: Oh, please, that is not what I'm talking about.
>> Henry: I look horrible in all black.
>> Katie: Henry, I'm not talking about stealing someone else's diamond. I want us to find the one that Simon lost.

Scene 4: Location: Lakeview Towers Hotel
Scene: Craig Montgomery's Suite - Katie and Simon's Room

KATIE FRASIER AND SIMON FRASIER

>> Simon: It's a little early for bed, isn't it?
>> Katie: I didn't think you were gonna -- I'm glad you're back. I wasn't waiting up. I was just going to read for a little while.
>> Simon: Katie -- these little domestic scenes that we keep acting out, okay? They're pointless. You have to accept the fact that I'm gonna be leaving town soon.
>> Katie: Not right away.
>> Simon: No, but as soon as Craig pays me the money he owes me, then yes.
>> Katie: So, after the wedding, then.
>> Simon: I suppose.
>> Katie: I wish there was something I could do. You look so sad.
>> Simon: Look, I'm fine, all right? I'm okay.
>> Katie: I want to thank you, Simon, for trying to take care of me.
>> Simon: Katie --
>> Katie: No, just let me finish, okay? I know what it's like to love someone who doesn't love you back. And I know you've been trying to keep me from being hurt, the way Lily hurt you.
>> Simon: I so -- let's not talk about Lily ever again, okay?
>> Katie: Okay, I -- it's too late for me not to love you. I just do.
>> Simon: And I'm sorry about that.
>> Katie: And I know you want me to stop coming on to you and I'm not. No, I'm not, really. I was just wondering if maybe I could just put my arms around you for a little while?
>> Simon: You think that's a good idea?
>> Katie: It's just that sometimes when you're sad, it helps if someone holds you, you know? Even if it's not someone that you love.
>> Simon: Who needs comforting? You or me?
>> Katie: Take your pick.
>> Simon: Ah. You are an odd duck, Katie, you know that?
>> Katie: Birds of a feather. Everything's going to be all right. You'll see.

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May, 2001