EPISODE 5/21/01
Simon Learns About Katie's "Camping" Trip

Home
Simonscript
May, 2001


MONDAY, MAY 21, 2001

Scene 1:
Location: Lakeview Hotel
Scene: Hotel lobby.

KATIE FRASIER AND SIMON FRASIER

>> Katie: Next time you see me, I'll be an unfaithful wife. So the next time your Brazilian bombshell starts throwing off sparks, you won't even have to feel guilty. And when my lover calls, neither will I.
>> Simon: Katie, wait, wait. Why are you putting on this act?
>> Katie: Is it really so hard to believe that I've found someone who's romantic and adventurous? Someone who wants to sweep me off my feet?
>> Simon: Right, right, and who is this enigma?

HENRY COLEMAN ENTERS BLOWING A WHISTLE

[Whistle blows]
[Simon laughs]
>> Henry: Okay, Peretti! Let's get this show on the road.
>> Katie: Great timing, Henry, just great.

Scene 2:
Location: Lakeview Hotel
Scene: Hotel Lobby

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, AND HENRY COLEMAN

>> Simon: So, this -- this -- this is the stud muffin that you've been boasting about? Right, this is how you're going to pay me back for what you imagined I did with Ruby, right? Well, look, yeah, you showed me. I hate being jealous.
>> Henry: I'm sure I'm being insulted here, so would one of you mind telling me what's going on so I can glare with the proper look of indignation?

Scene 3:
Location: Lakeview Hotel
Scene: Hotel Lobby

KATIE FRASIER, SIMON FRASIER, AND HENRY COLEMAN

>> Katie: Give me a break, Simon. So you caught me in one tiny little white lie, big deal.
>> Henry: Mosquito coils -- check.
>> Simon: Why do you even bother with this? You know, I'm not jealous. I don't care what you do with your life as long as you don't bullocks up mine.
>> Katie: Fine. Then Henry and I are just going on a little camping trip.
>> Henry: Ant-away -- check.
>> Simon: Right, right, yeah, right, where? Fantasy Island?
>> Katie: It's none of your business, my love. Just because I'm married to you doesn't mean I have to give away my "air of mystery."
>> Simon: Your air of what?
>> Henry: Extra floss -- check.
>> Katie: Just don't worry about me, okay, Simon?
>> Simon: Okay, I won't.
>> Katie: I'll be back in a couple of days with the biggest surprise you could ever imagine. And when you see it, you're never gonna make fun of me again.
>> Simon: Okay, well, you know, just make sure it's got "first class" and "One-way ticket to Australia" printed on it. That would be great.
>> Katie: Ah, ah, ah! No fair guessing, honey. Come on, Henry, let's go. Come on.
>> Henry: I had some martini mix here somewhere. It's lethal stuff, but it's all I could find.

Scene 4:
Location: Lakeview Hotel
Scene: Lakeview Restaurant

EMILY STEWART AND SIMON FRASIER

>> Emily: Hey, leaving so soon?
>> Simon: Yes, my work here is done.

Scene 5:
Location: Lakeview Towers Hotel
Scene: Katie and Simon Frasier's Room

SIMON FRASIER AND A MAID

[Knocking at door]
>> Maid: Would you like your bed turned down --
>> Simon: No, no, it's fine. Thank you. Thanks anyway.
>> Maid: I should at least empty the trash.
>> Simon: Sure. Come in. Suit yourself.
>> Maid: Excuse me, sir? [The maid finds the letter Katie wrote laying on the floor] Is this important?
>> Simon: I don't know. Let me -- [Knocking at door] Excuse me. I have to get the door. Thank you.

CRAIG MONTGOMERY AND SIMON FRASIER

>> Craig: I won't be but a second, bar-bar! But don't go in. I had the room specially done. I want to see the statement on your face. Huh?
>> Simon: So do I.
>> Craig: Yes, well, listen, man. You earned your keep tonight.
>> Simon: How, by watching the biggest wedding circus since my own?
>> Craig: Well, it took place. And after all, that's what counts. If you hadn't alerted me to Lucinda crashing with those pictures, well -- it'll only be a matter of time before both of us are richer than you've ever dreamed.
>> Simon: Good.
>> Craig: Thank you.
>> Simon: Well, sounds like your bride awaits.
>> Craig: Ah, yes, my bride. And your bride, my sister?
>> Simon: No, no, no. She's gone away for a few days. But trust me, the vision of bank notes will keep me very warm.
>> Craig: Good man!
>> Simon: Good luck. [Door closing] Would you -- [door closing]
[Simon sighs]
[Guitar playing]


Home
Simonscript
May, 2001