EPISODE 5/1/01
Simon and Katie Talk At Al's

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May, 2001


TUESDAY, MAY 1, 2001

Scene 1:
Location: Lakeview Towers Hotel
Scene: Craig Montgomery's Suite

CRAIG MONTGOMERY AND SIMON FRASIER

>> Craig: I do need you to go get those photos of Ruby and me.
>> Simon: Once again, you're asking me to break into Lucinda's house?
>> Craig: No, no, no. They're not at the house. They're in the guest house. My son has them in the guest house. Nothing can stop my marriage to Barbara Ryan.
>> Simon: No, thanks.
>> Craig: I beg your pardon?
>> Simon: I said no.
>> Craig: Why not?
>> Simon: Lucinda just caught me there with Ruby and nearly called the cops.
>> Craig: So nearly. She's warming up to you.
>> Simon: No, no. Listen, I told you the first time, I cannot afford to get involved in anything illegal like a breaking and entering.
>> Craig: You can't afford to get caught, and you cannot afford to refuse this offer.
>> Simon: All right. So you're offering me some kind of insurance?
>> Craig: I offered you my home in exchange for certain services, and if you find that you are unable to perform these services, then --
>> Simon: What, you'd toss your own sister out into the street?
>> Craig: I've done that before.
>> Simon: Oh, you reek of family loyalty.
>> Craig: You will get the photos or you can pack your rucksack and Katie and check out of the Lakeview.
>> Simon: Fine.

Scene 2:
Location: Lakeview Towers Hotel
Scene: Craig Montgomery's Suite

CRAIG MONTGOMERY AND SIMON FRASIER

>> Craig: Simon, Simon -- I'm -- look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to strong- arm you, really, it's just this on-again, off-again wedding -- it's finally on again, and those photographs would ruin everything.
>> Simon: Then you ought to be more discriminating about who you get naked with.
>> Craig: Hey, she was naked. I was set up. If the photographs were real, I could understand, but I am the injured party here.
>> Simon: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're such a victim.
>> Craig: I am being betrayed by my son and Lucinda Walsh, huh? You and I are doing the right thing here.
>> Simon: Look, if everyone is so dead-set against this marriage --
>> Craig: There's no turning back now, Simon. This marriage is the crux of a much, much larger situation.
>> Simon: Oh, sounds romantic. So what's the situation?
>> Craig: Well, Simon, I have 60 days to repay a small fortune, and with my bride-to-be's assistance, I can do that easily. I can repay my son's trust fund, and what's more, I can repay Lucinda Walsh for every insult, every dirty trick, every power play she has ever pulled. Hmm?
>> Simon: All right, I admit I like that part.
>> Craig: Yeah, and you gotta be there to enjoy it with me, and what is more, you can come away with this -- with more money than you can possibly dream of.

Scene 3:
Location: Lakeview Towers Hotel
Scene: Craig Montgomery's Suite

CRAIG MONTGOMERY AND SIMON FRASIER

>> Craig: Ruby is staying with Lucinda, isn't she?
>> Simon: Yeah.
>> Craig: She invites you in, you're a guest. You walk in, you get the photos, you walk out, you bring them to me.
>> Simon: All right. Here's something for you then -- why don't you get Ruby to do it herself? She's already there. She's on the inside.
>> Craig: If Lucinda even suspects that Ruby is helping me, she will run Ruby out of town on a rail. No, we need Ruby inside long enough to gain her trust, then we got somebody on the inside to pass us information later. No, right now, Ruby has to be above suspicion. Later on she could be the key to getting everything we want.
>> Simon: Hey, look. Listen, enough about what we want. What am I gonna get out of this?
>> Craig: Well, how would you like to leave Oakdale with as much cash as your heart desires, huh?
>> Simon: Now, that sounds pretty good. Keep going.
>> Craig: Exactly. Big money, small chore, and as long as you have Ruby in your pocket -

KATIE FRASIER ENTERS

>> Katie: Not Ruby again. [door slams.] Simon, if I find you with that woman one more time, I swear to God, I will kill her.

Scene 4:
Location: Lakeview Towers Hotel
Scene: Craig Montgomery's Suite

CRAIG MONTGOMERY, SIMON FRASIER, AND KATIE FRASIER

>> Simon: Okay, settle down. Take a deep breath. There's no need to draw blood.
>> Katie: I'll be the judge of that.
>> Craig: We were discussing pressing business, Katie. Nothing diabolical.
>> Katie: Right. I bet you thought you lost me when you tore out of Lucinda's house like that.
>> Simon: Come on. I wasn't trying to lose you, Katie.
>> Katie: Oh, please.
>> Craig: I'm sure you two would like a little privacy. Why don't you take this tiff to the guest wing?
>> Katie: If we're having a tiff, it's because of you. What kind of job requires my husband to go off and grope that cheap cha-cha?
>> Craig: I don't see Simon complaining.
>> Katie: I'm complaining, and I'm your sister!
>> Craig: You always complain.
>> Simon: Katie, I'm just trying to get Ruby to think she can confide in me. That's it.
>> Katie: Oh, and this requires a full-body massage?
>> Simon: >From time to time.
[Craig laughs.]
>> Craig: Don't look at me. I'm not twisting his arm.
>> Katie: I would love to twist a few things in this place.
>> Simon: All right, great. See that? That is my cue to get out of here.
>> Katie: No, where do you think you're going?
>> Craig: As long as we're on the same page about that matter we discussed?
>> Katie: What matter?! I swear to you, if this matter includes rubbing up against that Ruby chick --
>> Simon: I'll take care of it.
>> Katie: Take care of what?!
>> Craig: I'll handle things here.
>> Katie: Simon, what are you doing?!

Scene 5:
Location: Al's Diner

KATIE FRASIER AND SIMON FRASIER

>> Katie: Simon?
>> Simon: How do you do that? No matter where I go, every single time, you find me. You're unbelievable.
>> Katie: You make it sound like you're trying to hide from me, sweetie.
>> Simon: Well, sweetie, I know better than to try that.
>> Katie: I was sure I would find you stripping on the tabletops or making out with one of the waitresses.
>> Simon: I need a coffee fix first.
>> Katie: Very funny. Come on, you know you're gonna get a burger, so just put it down and talk to me.
>> Simon: If you wanna play, then you're really just gonna have to keep a lid on the whining. Okay?
>> Katie: I don't want to play with anyone, except you. I'm sick to death of watching people put their paws all over you.
>> Simon: Well, everyone, that is, except you.
>> Katie: Okay, you started working for my brother. And then I find you with that Ruby chick again. And to top it all off, you plant a big wet one on Lucinda Walsh -- God help us all -- right in front of your married ex- girlfriend. What are you, some kind of one-man orgy?
>> Simon: Listen, where I plant my lips, or anything else for that matter, is none of your concern.
>> Katie: How many women do you need?
>> Simon: Okay, all right. Okay, let me see. Hmm, number one, in the morning --
>> Katie: You are totally out of control, Simon. If you don't watch it, you're gonna end up in jail. And I'm not gonna be there to bail you out for the millionth time.
>> Simon: Speaking of being out of control, when in the world are you ever gonna realize that this is not a real marriage?
>> Katie: I'm not into labels either, okay? Call our marriage whatever you will, but I will not be treated like your doormat.
>> Simon: What do you want from me, huh? What -- no, all right, no. Don't don't answer that. What do you want? Because I've gotta tell you, I've been just about as civil and understanding as I can possibly be.
>> Katie: No, you have not. You're nicer to total strangers than you are to me. I am the only one who's been even attempting to adapt last few months. and I'm trying my hardest to understand that you need time to figure out your feelings for me.
>> Simon: I know exactly how I feel about you.
>> Katie: But I am not gonna sit around like some idiot while you run around behind my back. Okay?
>> Simon: Seriously, seriously, you're the most exhausting human being I have ever met.
>> Katie: You're the one who's making me do these things. I am sweet. I can be very sweet if you would just treat me the way I want to be treated.
>> Simon: You're behaving like a spoiled kid. That is the way you're gonna be treated.
>> Katie: Well, you're making me this way, you and that Ruby chick.
>> Simon: Listen. Number one, you have absolutely nothing to worry about with Ruby, okay?
>> Katie: Since when?
>> Simon: Since the job that I'm doing for your brother is almost with. It's finished, almost. And number two, what I do and who I do it with, for the millionth time, is none of your business.
>> Katie: Okay, so in other words, you're finishing up with Ruby, and now you're setting your sights on Lily again. Is that what you're saying?
>> Simon: Is that what this is all about?
>> Katie: Oh, please.
>> Simon: Oh, yes, it is. When you ran into Lily over at Lucinda's house, I saw that way that you looked at her.
>> Katie: I wasn't expecting to see her there.
>> Simon: And then you flew into a flying rage. And it wasn't because of Ruby. It was Lily.

Scene 6:
Location: Al's Diner

KATIE FRASIER AND SIMON FRASIER

>> Katie: I am so not concerned about Lily Snyder.
>> Simon: Yeah, right. I think you jaw was hanging down to about, uh -- about here.
>> Katie: It was not! I just wasn't aware that you were so into her still.
>> Simon: I'm not!
>> Katie: Could've fooled me. I bust into the Walsh estate, ready to teach your little foreign exchange student a lesson or two, and what do I see? You and Lily looking oh-so-longingly at each other.
>> Simon: We were doing nothing -- you know what? I so don't have to explain it to you. Forget it!
>> Katie: Just admit it that you still have feelings for her.
>> Simon: Lily is back with her husband, Holden again, okay?
>> Katie: That doesn't answer my question.
>> Simon: The answer is no. I was there with Ruby. Lily came in search of Lucinda. That is the end of the story.
>> Katie: You expect me to believe that?
>> Simon: Lily found out the truth today, about my past, about the con games, the marriages, everything.
>> Katie: Everything everything?
>> Simon: Well, enough for her to probably hate me. So yeah, I think I've heard the last of Lily Snyder.
>> Katie: Well, don't bet on it.
>> Simon: You know, I would really love to hang around, but apparently, according to you, I've got women to conquer, lips to kiss.
>> Katie: You're going to see Ruby after everything that I just said?
>> Simon: It's a job, Katie. It's a job -- a job that will put your brother in a position to pay me, and when he does, I am history.
>> Katie: Whatever Craig is asking you to do, just don't do it. Say no, Simon.
>> Simon: It's too late.
>> Katie: You don't understand the kind of person that you're dealing with, okay? He gets you to do all of his dirty work. That's what he does.
>> Simon: You're imagining things, Katie.
>> Katie: No, he gets you to do his bidding, he hangs you out to dry, and then he's untouchable. He's looking out for himself, Simon. Who is gonna look out for you?

Scene 7:
Location: Al's Diner

SIMON FRASIER AND KATIE FRASIER

>> Simon: I'm a big boy, Katie, and I've seen all types. I do not need protecting.
>> Katie: You do when you're dealing with Craig.
>> Simon: Oh, come on! You're talking about your brother!
>> Katie: Exactly why I'm about this. He is the king of broken promises. He asks for your help. He's nice and generous while he's dangling the carrot in front of your nose, but watch out for that stick.
>> Simon: I know you want me to stay in town, Katie, but you knew from the start that this situation was only temporary.
>> Katie: I'm not telling you this to keep you in town or broke.
>> Simon: Listen, if I don't do this for Craig, it's back to the garage for us. Tell me, is that what you really want?
>> Katie: If that's what'll keep you safe, yes.
>> Simon: What, so you mean you would actually trade in the beautiful, lush penthouse suite for the grease and the grime and the noise of the garage?
>> Katie: In a heartbeat.
>> Simon: Katie, I'm gonna be all right, okay?
>> Katie: You don't know who you're dealing with! He's gonna get you in trouble.
>> Simon: Okay, I promise that I will not do anything that's gonna get into more trouble than I can handle, okay?
>> Katie: You promise?
>> Simon: I promise. Now, whatever you do, don't follow me, okay? I'll call you later.
>> Katie: You forgot to kiss me good-bye.
>> Simon: No, I didn't.
>> Katie: Silly man. He'll come around.


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May, 2001