EPISODE 5/11/00
Lily Finds Simon With Rose

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Simonscript
May, 2000


THURSDAY, MAY 11, 2000

Scene 1:
Place: Atlantic City, New Jersey
Location: Boardwalk Plaza Hotel
Scene: Show place

SIMON FRASIER AND ROSE D'ANGELO

>> Simon: Hey, good afternoon, rose. Or should I say, "good morning."
>> Rose: Oh, good morning to you, too. Oh, thank you.
>> Simon: Ah, let me look at you. You look incredible.
>> Rose: Oh, thank you. Oh, manners. Very nice. I bet your wife never has to open her own door or nothin'.
>> Simon: Regrettably, I am completely unattached.
>> Rose: Who's regrettin'? I always say, "life's too short for regrets."
>> Simon: That is a good philosophy.
>> Rose: I like it. I got a million of 'em. Another philosophy?
>> Simon: Uh-huh?
>> Rose: Have a philosophy. And a cuppa joe, very hot, in the morning.
>> Simon: I took the liberty of trying to order for you.
>> Rose: Oh, he takes liberties. Interesting.
>> Simon: I told the waitress I was meeting you. She said "the usual" and walked off.
>> Rose: You gotta love Sally, huh?
>> Simon: Listen, Rose, I was wondering, have you given any more thought to that matter we discussed last night?
>> Rose: Oh, whether or not we're swimmin' in each other's gene pool? You better believe it. I could barely sleep last night. I mean, there's this part of me that's hoping that we're not related, you know, 'cause it's a little freaky --
>> Simon: Oh, yeah, tell me about it.
>> Rose: But then there's another part of me that's thinking, "amazing," you know? Here I am, barely getting by in Jersey, all I got from my mom is this box of costume jewelry junk, and you come into my life and tell me I could be, like, a duchess or a countess or somethin'.
>> Simon: Rose, listen. You well could be the woman that I have been searching my whole life.

LILY WALSH SNYDER WALKS UP.

>> Lily: There you are. Forget all about me?

Scene 2:
Scene: Show place

LILY WALSH SNYDER, SIMON FRASIER, AND ROSE D'ANGELO

>> Lily: Of course this is why you ditched me last night.
>> Rose: "This"? I'm a "this" now? Get a load of her.
>> Lily: Please tell me that you did not spend the night with this creep.
>> Rose: What business is it of yours what I do with my time? Don't get yourself all worked up in a lather, Mrs. Thing.
Jealousy is a waste of time. It's not my fault that this adorable specimen of a man prefers me to you.
>> Lily: I am so far from being jealous -- that has absolutely nothing to do with this.
>> Rose: Yeah, whatever.
>> Lily: I'm not.
>> Rose: So what do you care what we did last night?
>> Lily: Because this creep locked me in a closet all night so he could charm you into his web of lies.
>> Rose: For real? Locked in a closet? You told me that she got an emergency call from her husband.
>> Lily: Explain that!
>> Simon: I had to come up with some way of getting rid of her, so I could have you all to myself.
>> Rose: That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. What a horrible thing to do to poor Lily.
>> Lily: No air, no light -- someone should lock you up and see how much you like it!
>> Rose: You're givin' me ideas.
>> Simon: Look, I made arrangements, didn't I? Didn't I? Didn't one of the hotel staff let you out?
>> Rose: See, I knew -- I knew simon would never do anything to hurt a girl.
>> Simon: I would never!
>> Lily: How can you stand up for this creep?
>> Rose: Honey, I know from creeps. I've had a lot worse things done to me by people who claimed to love me. So don't talk to me about creeps.
>> Lily: If you believe one word, one word, out of this guy's mouth, it will be the worst mistake of both of our lives.

Scene 3:
Scene: Show place

LILY WALSH SNYDER, SIMON FRASIER, AND ROSE D'ANGELO

>> Rose: Why would a sweet guy like simon want to hurt a girl like me?
>> Lily: He's a liar, rose. He lied about locking me away in that closet.
>> Simon: I've explained that.
>> Lily: You've lied. You lied about your great-grandfather's letters. You totally orchestrated our meeting. You carried around a photograph for months, never once mentioning the fact that I'm a dead ringer for "beloved." He lied about being an architect, and now he's trying to keep me away from you to warn you about him because of some "mysterious, dangerous force" that is putting my life at risk. Who knows what he has planned for you.
>> Rose: Hmm. Boy, somebody better lay off the caffeine.
>> Simon: I told you she'd try something like this.
>> Lily: Excuse me?
>> Simon: Lily, I didn't disclose the true nature of my business with you because I wanted to be certain that I had found the right woman. Now, I have been completely open with this gorgeous thing about my search for a long-lost relative. And as for your "mysterious forces" -- well, it sounds to me like you are in desperate need of a very long vacation.
>> Lily: You followed me! You followed me all the way here to Atlantic City!
>> Simon: To find the right woman.
>> Rose: Which you're not, for, like, probably the first time in your life.
>> Lily: Rose, please don't do this. He's after something.
>> Rose: Aren't we all. What would a classy guy like Simon want from a simple showgirl like me? What do I have that's worth anything?
>> Lily: I don't know, but his class is part of his act.
>> Rose: Give it up, hon. Prince charming has found the girl that fits his glass slipper, and it's me. The shoe fits, and I plan on wearing it. Make her go away, hon.

Scene 4:
Scene: Show place

LILY WALSH SNYDER, SIMON FRASIER, AND ROSE D'ANGELO

>> Lily: You know, I really resent being treated this way when all I'm trying to do is help you.
>> Rose: Hmm. Is that what you call keeping me from getting what's mine?
>> Lily: There is no inheritance, Rose.
>> Rose: That you know of, maybe.
>> Lily: He invaded my home for months, told a lion's share of lies, but never once mentioned a huge inheritance. Don't you find that odd?
>> Simon: Only a fool shows his hand. I was only waiting until I was certain that I had found the right woman. And I am awfully glad I did. >> Rose: He knows the real deal when he sees it. Some people will do anything for money.
>> Lily: I don't need money.
>> Rose: The rich always want to get richer.
>> Lily: I don't want his money, because I didn't need it. I have plenty of money.
>> Rose: Good. Then go on your way and let me enjoy my slice of the pie.
>> Lily: Rose, there is no "pie." And I'm not going anywhere until I'm sure that you are all right. >> Rose: I've done all right without you so far. >> Simon: Exactly. So why don't you run along back home where you might actually be wanted and needed.
>> Lily: After you, my friend.
>> Rose: Listen, all this back and forth, it's giving me the agita. So you two work it out amougnst yourselves. I'm gonna find a nice corner of quiet before my show.
>> Simon: Why don't I tag along, just to keep you company?
>> Rose: Nice try. You keep those beautiful green eyes right where they belong.
>> Simon: And where would that be?
>> Rose: You're good. You're very, very good.

LILY WALSH SNYDER AND SIMON FRASIER

>> Simon: Oh, she's a joy. All of the good looks and none of the rampant paranoia.
>> Lily: I'm not letting you get away with this Simon.
>> Simon: Lily, you don't have a choice. Your husband's on his way to collect you. Why don't you postpone the "family bonding" for awhile? Anyway, best of luck and all that, but this is where we part company.
>> Lily: No, no, no, Simon! You may have convinced rose that she's hit the numbers, but you do not fool me.

Scene 5:
Scene: Show place

LILY WALSH SNYDER AND SIMON FRASIER

>> Simon: So you refuse to admit you're wasting your time.
>> Lily: We'll see.
>> Simon: Oh, you and your vivid imagination, Lily. What are you waiting for, anyway?
>> Lily: I don't know. But it must be important for you to be following me around, pestering me, interfering and insinuating yourself into my life.
>> Simon: Okay, I have long since realized that my business has absolutely nothing to do with you, all right? So go on. Off you go. You're free to go.
>> Lily: Uh, uh, uh, if this affects Rose, it affects me, too.
>> Simon: Oh, I would love to be a fly on the wall when you explain all this to your husband. Yeah, yeah, how you've lied to him, kept secrets from him -- oh, yeah, not to mention, spent the last few nights with me.
>> Lily: I will tell holden the truth.
>> Simon: The truth? Yeah, that ought to go down real well. Yeah, good luck with that, because most men wouldn't believe a word --
>> Lily: Holden isn't most men. Look, if you're trying to intimidate me or shake me, it's not going to work, because Holden trusts me.
>> Simon: Oh. "Trusts you," does he? You see, I seem to remember not so long ago, this "trusting" husband of yours was --

HOLDEN SNYDER PHONES LILY WALSH SNYDER.

[Cell phone rings.]
>> Lily: Hello?
>> Holden: Lily, hi, it's me.
>> Lily: Hey, holden, how are you? Where are you?
>> Holden: I've got some bad news. The footage that we shot in New York, well, we lost most of it. So I figured, in order to save a small portion, we should probably go back to Oakdale and reshoot most of it here.
>> Lily: Oh, oh, I'm so sorry, but mostly for myself. I guess this means --
>> Holden: Yeah, I'm not gonna be able to make it to Atlantic City. But I promise you, I'm gonna make it up to you.
>> Lily: I'm holding you to that.
>> Simon: Can I get another cup of coffee, please?
>> Holden: You busy? Sounds like there's something going on over there?
>> Lily: No, it's just the inescapable Atlantic City atmosphere. I wish you were here, but I understand.
>> Holden: Anything interesting going on?
>> Lily: Actually, yes, I met somebody that might be a relative of mine. So I was thinking about sticking around for a few more days to get to know this person, and maybe we could talk about our family histories.
>> Holden: Okay, well, listen. You take all the time you need. Everything's fine here. Mom, she has the kids, and they're having a ball.
>> Lily: Send my love, please.
>> Holden: Already done. I've got to go, okay? I love you.
>> Lily: I love you, too. And I miss you. I'll talk to you soon. Bye.

LILY WALSH SNYDER AND SIMON FRASIER

>> Simon: Is there a problem?
>> Lily: On the contrary. It turns out that Holden has some business to take care of at home, so he won't be joining me for this trip. Which means I have all the time in the world to stay right attached to your side.

Scene 6:
Scene: Show place.

LILY WALSH SNYDER AND SIMON FRASIER

>> Simon: So, shall we grab some salt water taffy? Perhaps collect some seashells on the beach?
[Cell phone rings.]
>> Simon: I'll get it.
>> Lily: Oh, give me that! Give it to me! Simon!
>> Simon: That's not very lady-like.
>> Lily: Show me a gentleman! Give me that phone!

SIMON FRASIER ANSWERS LILY WALSH SNYDER'S CELLULAR PHONE.

>> Simon: Hello, this is simon speaking. How may I help you?
>> Lily: Simon!
>> Simon: Hello?
>> Lily: Give me the phone!
>> Simon: Hello, is anybody there?
>> Lily: Simon!
>> Simon: Don't be shy now. Speak up --
>> Lily: Give me the phone!
>> Simon: -- Or forever hold your peace. Hello?
Place: Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Scene 7:
Scene: Show place.

LILY WALSH SNYDER AND SIMON FRASIER

>> Lily: Was that supposed to be charming? Because on my planet, when you answer someone else's telephone, that is irritating and grounds for a beating!
>> Simon: Now, I thought it might be Holden.
>> Lily: All the more reason not to answer the phone.
>> Simon: Don't worry. Whoever it was, the coward hung up.
>> Lily: Are you calling my husband a coward?
>> Simon: Did I say it was your husband on the phone? I just said "whoever it was." It could have been anyone.
>> Lily: You'd better hope that it wasn't Holden, for your sake.
>> Simon: Oh, why? 'Cause he'll be on the next flight here, ready to rip shreds off me? Well, bring it on. In that case, the safest place for you to be is anywhere --
>> Lily: If Holden wanted to get in touch with me, he never would have hung up the phone, no matter what. It's gonna take more than cheap tricks like that to get rid of me.
>> Simon: What will it take, Lily?
>> Lily: You'll never know.
>> Simon: How many ways do I have to say this? Okay? Just turn around, walk away and you will never have to see me again. Okay? You have absolutely nothing to fear.
>> Lily: What about Rose?
[The show begins.]
>> Lily: Forget it. I leave here, never knowing what happens to rose? No. What do you want from her, Simon?
>> Simon: Oh, it could be nothing more than a tall tale. No, a mirage as ephemeral as true love.

[Simon sees the piece of jewelry in Rose's headdress, above the middle of her forehead.]

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Simonscript
May, 2000