EPISODE 3/13/02
Simon Buys A Cottage
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Simonscript
March, 2002
TUESDAY, MARCH 13, 2002
Scene 1:
Location: Al's Diner
SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, DAHLIA
>> Katie: Mmm. You are the best husband in the entire world.
>> Simon: Mmm, I know.
>> Katie: Yes, you always find a way to give me what I want.
>> Simon: Absolutely. I'm spoiling you to death.
>> Katie: I know. You should. I deserve it. I'm serious, though. You always find a way to make my dreams come true.
First with the wedding, everything that happened there, and then I tell you this silly little dream about us living in an
enchanted cottage, and you actually find one in the woods. I can't wait to see it.
>> Simon: Neither can I.
>> Katie: Mmm, tell me about it again?
>> Simon: All right. The real estate agent said it's a beautiful little cottage at the end of a secluded road, with a babbling brook
in the back yard.
>> Katie: Mmm, Snickers is going to love it!
>> Simon: I'll tell Snickers not to expect perfection. Apparently, it needs a coat of paint, and -- what did she say? A few tweaks
here and there.
>> Katie: So what! Painting and tweaking are the best part of making a home a home. We'll run out, we'll get all kinds of
different colors of paint and we'll get some takeout food and it'll be a whole adventure.
>> Simon: That's if you like it when you see it.
>> Katie: I love it already. Sight unseen, I know it is the perfect place where we're supposed to live.
[ Cell phone rings ]
>>Katie: Hello?
>> Dahlia: Katie, it's Dahlia. How soon can you see me? I have some news! Some big news! Some huge news!
>> Katie: Really? Well, actually, I'm at Al's Diner right now, but --
>> Dahlia: Don't move a well-toned muscle. I will be right there.
>> Katie: Well, Simon and I have plans already.
>> Dahlia: I'll be there in two shakes. Bye.
>> Katie: Wait, Dahlia, I -- okay. That was Dahlia, she says she has something huge to tell me. But, you know what? I'll just
write her a note on a
little napkin and tell her I can't --
>> Simon: No, no, no, no. No, here, here. You take care of your business, and then meet me at the cottage when you're free.
That's the
address.
>> Katie: Really?
>> Simon: Yep.
>> Katie: Mmm. I can't wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait. Our own enchanted little cottage.
>> Simon: Good luck with Dahlia.
>> Katie: Thanks. I wonder what she has to tell me?
>> Simon: Tell me about it later.
>> Katie: Okay. Bye, babe.
>> Coed #1: Katie Frasier? Guys, look who's here! It's Katie!
>> Katie: Hi.
Scene 2:
Location: Oakdale Police Station
Scene: Squad Room
SIMON FRASIER, MARGO HUGHES, JACK SNYDER
>> Margo: Simon?
>> Simon: Yes.
>> Margo: Would you tell this man to get out of here, get something to eat, get some rest?
>> Simon: Get out of here, get something to eat, get some rest. What else?
>> Margo: Yes, please come back when you're of some use to me.
>> Simon: Come back soon.
>> Margo: Please, just go. Go anywhere. Go home. Go away. Go home.
>> Jack: Call me if there's any news on Hal, all right?
>> Margo: Sure, yeah.
>> Jack: And the second that Rose D'Angelo sets foot in the states, I wanna be there when you question her.
>> Margo: Sleep tight, Jack.
>> Jack: Simon.
>> Simon: Jack.
>> Margo: Man, getting that guy to take some down time is like herding cats. He hasn't slept anyplace where he's felt safe in
the couple of days.
So listen -- if he crashes, Simon, you're gonna have to take up the slack.
>> Simon: Well, is there something I should know about?
>> Margo: Well, I didn't wanna say this with Jack here, 'cause he never would've left.
>> Simon: What?
>> Margo: Rose D'Angelo is already back in town. I'm gonna question her this afternoon.
>> Simon: So how is she? How are the other -- where was she?
>> Margo: I don't know. I'll have answers to all of these questions and more in a few hours now.
Scene 3:
Scene: Squad Room
SIMON FRASIER, MARGO HUGHES, PAUL RYAN, CRAIG MONTGOMERY
>> Paul: See you, Margo.
>> Margo: Let me know if you see Hal, the second you see him.
>> Simon: Is that true? Hal's no longer pursuing Stenbeck's connection to the kidnapping? I thought he'd do anything to bring
this guy to justice.
>> Margo: Hal has taken Stenbeck out of the hospital. He's been hiding away. He's protecting him. And now he's moved him
again, and we have
no idea where.
>> Simon: That's unbelievable.
>> Margo: Yeah, pretty unbelievable. Stenbeck's in a coma. He's in shock. Stenbeck is gone. He's just gone! Before we can
get him back under a
doctor's supervision and help -- the help that he so desperately needs -- he's vanished. If we don't find Stenbeck, he's
gonna die.
>> Simon: Yeah. And everything he knows about Emily and Carly will die with him. What can I do to help?
>> Margo: I just need you to stay available. I mean, with Jack out of commission, I need you more than ever.
>> Simon: Absolutely, absolutely. Look, I've got something special planned for Katie, but after that, I'm all yours.
>> Margo: All right. I'll be in touch.
>> Simon: All right.
>> Craig: Simon!
>> Simon: Gotta run, Craig.
Scene 4:
Location: Cottage
SIMON FRASIER, REALTOR, KATIE FRASIER
>> Realtor: You won't find many places like this on the market.
>> Simon: Yeah, well, that's a good thing.
>> Realtor: I know what you're thinking.
>> Simon: No. No, I don't think so. No, you haven't got the slightest idea what I'm thinking.
>> Realtor: It's a charming little cottage with tons of possibilities. For a young family on a budget, this place is perfect. It's
rustic.
>> Simon: "Rustic." "Rustic?" Is that real estate for "run down."
>> Realtor: Use your imagination, Mr. Frasier.
>> Simon: You know, it's hard to get romantic when half the wall is missing.
>> Realtor: And that's why we call it a "handyman's special."
>> Simon: Okay, no more lines here. I got enough money to buy the place, not rebuild it.
>> Realtor: Well, I do have some other houses I could show you.
>> Simon: Other houses, "other houses?" Cottages? In the woods?
>> Realtor: In that category, this is it. But, before you make up your mind, take a look around, and let me know what you think.
>> Simon: Oh, boy. Well, Katie, I'm sorry. I tried. Maybe next time.
[ Door creaking ]
>> Katie: Simon? Simon, you better be here, because if not, I'm leaving. [ Katie screams ] I'm leaving, I'm leaving!
>> Simon: It's all right, it's all right. It's me, it's me!
>> Katie: Simon?
>> Simon: Yeah, who'd you expect? That Bob Villa guy?
>> Katie: Oh, I'm gonna kill you!
>> Simon: Why? What'd I do?
>> Katie: You scared me half to death!
>> Simon: Oh, I'm so sorry! Come here.
>> Katie: What did you do? Bring me to this place to scare me and cover me in filth? Didn't you hear me calling you?
>> Simon: No, I was out back.
>> Katie: Oh, there's an outback out back?
>> Simon: Well, it's kind of like the "out front," only with no poison ivy and dead trees. Come take a look.
>> Katie: Oh, no, that's okay. I've seen enough. Let's go.
>> Simon: Before you hate it?
>> Katie: Uh, a little too late for that.
>> Simon: Just wait. There's something I want to show you.
Scene 5:
Location: Cottage
SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER
>> Simon: Okay. Now that you've seen the lay of the land, what do you think?
>> Katie: Honestly?
>> Simon: Yeah, yep. Shoot from the hip.
>> Katie: Well, the ceiling is stained, which means the roof leaks. The floor in the kitchen is slanted. That stove is at least 50
years old. And I
don't even want to think what's wrong with the plumbing and wiring --
>> Simon: Okay, shh. Shh.
>> Katie: What?
>> Simon: Just listen. Listen. At least it sounds enchanted.
>> Katie: Yeah, it sounds beautiful, but --
>> Simon: But -- but you hate it.
>> Katie: Don't you? This place looks like it should be condemned.
>> Simon: No, no. Look, I know it's not exactly what you wanted.
>> Katie: No, I wanted -- I wanted a sweet little cottage that needed maybe a coat of paint, and a willow tree outside, and
some swans for the
pond -- and us. You know, our special little castle.
>> Simon: Okay, all right. Castle? Ah, it's a bit delusional. But it beats living next door to Burt's Garage, right?
>> Katie: You think?
>> Simon: Yeah -- and being permanent freeloaders at Craig's place. Katie, our own little cottage at the end of a country road,
equipped with its
own pond, and all the privacy we want --
>> Katie: And since your inheritance is off-limits, it's pretty much all we can afford.
>> Simon: Ouch. Is that a hint of bitterness I detect?
>> Katie: You only detected a hint? Simon, I said that we should get an enchanted little cottage. I think maybe you heard
me say "infected little cottage," 'cause this is nothing like I had in mind.
>> Simon: Listen, the real estate agent said buying a place is like falling in love.
>> Katie: Oh, yeah, of course she did, 'cause she wanted to sell you this --
>> Simon: No, no, after being here for a few minutes, I know exactly what she's saying.
>> Katie: Oh, no, no. You're not even gonna compare me to this dilapidated place.
>> Simon: No. Look -- I didn't fall in love with you overnight, right? I didn't fall in love with you just because you're beautiful and
everything is in
complete, perfect working order. I fell in love with you over time, because I learned what makes you tick, what makes you smile,
what puts a
fire underneath you. It took a little work, but I know more about you than any man will ever know. And I look at you and I don't
see a million
things I want to fix. I see a million things that I love. And I see our future. I see our future. Listen, listen, look -- a Christmas
tree, right there in
the corner -- you and me curled up here on the couch in front of the fire in winter. Come on, what do you think?
>> Katie: Well, I think that maybe if we finished knocking down that wall and maybe put in a window here so we could
see the pond outside --
>> Simon: Is that a "yes?"
>> Katie: It's a -- it's a dream come true -- in progress.
>> Simon: I knew you would love it!
>> Katie: I love you! And this place -- will grow on me, eventually.
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March, 2002