June 28, 2002

EPISODE 6/28/02
Simon's Escape Foiled

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June, 2002

FRIDAY, JUNE 28, 2002

Scene 1:
Location: Avanya - El Capitan Hotel
Scene: Hotel Restaurant

"SIMON FRASIER", KATIE FRASIER, WAITER

>> Katie: Excuse me, sir? Could I reserve this table for breakfast? It's so nice in the sun.
>> Waiter: Of course. Anything for Señora Frasier.
>> Katie: Great. And the food I ordered?
>> Waiter: It will be out momentarily.
>> Katie: Thank you very much. Good morning, sweetie. I reserved a great table for us. Are you ready for breakfast?
>> "Simon": Yeah, yeah. Well, a man's gotta eat, right? Just don't give me any grief, okay?
>> Katie: Okay, you've made yourself very clear on that point. Oh, I love this humidity. It's so --
>> "Simon": Rueben?! Rueben? Rueben? Yeah, can you bring me a double Bloody Mary with a raw quail's egg? Rapido, rapido! Geez.
>> Katie: Simon, honey, since when do you drink in the morning?
>> "Simon": Hey, I told you to get off my back. Now, you want to have some breakfast. I just ordered it.
>> Katie: Oh, yes, look. Thank you so much. Mmm, fresh fruit. Oatmeal. Yummy carbs and toast, burnt, the way you like it.
>> "Simon": Who ordered all this?
>> Katie: Me. I had a funny feeling that you hadn't been eating very well, so I thought we might build up that strength and get your good mood back.
>> "Simon": Hey, listen to me. There's nothing wrong with my strength. Okay? You know, on this island they want to take me on, I'll crack their bloody heads open.

Scene 2:
Location: El Capitan Hotel
Scene: Hotel Restaurant

"SIMON FRASIER", KATIE FRASIER

>> "Simon": Ah! Rueben, Rueben, come on. Well, it's about time.
>> Katie: Oh, no. Please tell me you're not going to drink that.
[ "Simon" burps ]
>> "Simon": Yeah, well that's better. Yeah, feels good.
>> Katie: All right, Simon. What is going on with you? Are you -- are you being this character, acting this out to keep us protected or what? Just give me a sign. Tell me what's going on.
>> "Simon": Look, I don't know what you're talking about and neither do you.
>> Katie: Everybody's noticed it. Lucinda, Henry, the guy that works here. Everybody says you've been acting strangely. What's going on?
>> "Simon": I could care less what anyone thinks. Now, if you want, why don't you take them a message from me. Yeah.
>> Katie: Okay, what is it?
>> "Simon": All right, why don't you tell them from me, if anyone gets in my way, I'll bounce a coconut off their skulls.
>> Katie: Is this a practical joke? Where are the cameras? Do I have anything in my teeth?
>> "Simon": Look, the only joke around here is you trying to tell me what to eat.
>> Katie: All right, Simon. If you don't tell me what's going on right now, I'm going to go back to Oakdale.
>> "Simon": Ah, well, finally you're starting to sing my song, sweetheart. Bon voyage.
>> Katie: Hold on a minute. I am warning you, if you leave, you will never see me again.
>> "Simon": Aw. Wha, wha!

Scene 3:
Location: Avanya Jail
Scene: Simon's Cell

SIMON FRASIER

[Simon digs at window bars, loosens them, lifts them out, and climbs out the open window.]

Scene 4:
Location: El Capitan Hotel
Scene: Hotel Bar

"SIMON FRASIER", COOLEY

>> "Simon": It's about time you got here, Cooley. I've been waiting here for days.
>> Cooley: I got held up. The old man came down with a fever and was too weak to travel.
>> "Simon": All right, all right, what old man?
>> Cooley: Joe from New Jersey. I've got him stashed on a boat a couple of miles from here. Give me the provenance for the diamond, and I'll take you to him right away.
>> "Simon": Oh, now why would I wanna do that?
>> Cooley: Because that was our deal. The old man in exchange for proof that the diamond's real.
>> "Simon": Yeah? Yeah, well, the deal's off. I wanna renegotiate.
>> Cooley: Are you playing games with me, Aussie?
>> "Simon": Nah. Nah, I don't do games. Oh, except maybe a little poker.
>> Cooley: All right. I'll give you 24 hours to change your mind.
>> "Simon": Oh, come on. Come on. Don't be a crybaby, huh? Sit down. Sit down.
>> Cooley: All right, all right. I figured you'd back down. Does this mean you're ready to do business?
>> "Simon": Absolutely. Now, you tell me where the diamond is or I kill you where you sit.
>> "Simon": Come on.
>> Cooley: I don't have the diamond on me.
>> "Simon": Where is it?
>> Cooley: Someplace very safe.
>> "Simon": All right, all right. Tell me how to get there.
>> Cooley: Huh-uh.
>> "Simon": Huh?
[ Cooley moans ]
>> Cooley: God, you stabbed me. I'm bleeding.
>> "Simon": All right, look what you've gone and done, huh? You want me to call you a doctor?
>> Cooley: Yes.
>> "Simon": You want me to get you a doctor?
>> Cooley: Yes.
>> "Simon": Then tell me where the diamond is stashed.
>> Cooley: Katie --
>> "Simon": Katie what? Katie's got the diamond?
>> Cooley: Katie --
>> "Simon": Katie what? Spit it out. Spit it out. Oh -- enjoy your siesta.

["SIMON" leaves COOLEY and encounters LUCINDA]

>> Lucinda: I need a word with you, Simon.
>> "Simon": It's a bad time.
>> Lucinda: Because Katie is upstairs, and she's packing. And you have not told me what the hell's been going on here these --
>> "Simon": Katie's going?
>> Lucinda: Yes.
>> "Simon": Katie's packing? Well, we've got to stop her, don't we?
>> Lucinda: Oh, thank you.

Scene 5:
Location: El Capitan Hotel
Scene: Katie Frasier's Room

"SIMON FRASIER", KATIE FRASIER

>> "Simon": Well, what do you think you're doing?
>> Katie: Leaving. Don't pretend you care now.
>> "Simon": I do. I do care.
>> Katie: Really?
>> "Simon": Yeah.
>> Katie: I'm sorry. Simon, this is not working. I'm going home.
>> "Simon": I'm sorry, too.
>> Katie: You are?
>> "Simon": Yeah. I can't let you leave.

Scene 6:
Location: Avanya Jail
Scene: Simon's Cell

SIMON FRASIER, JAILER

>> Jailer: Come here. You're very smart and clever, senor. But, this time, you have outsmarted yourself. Get down. 'Cause tomorrow we fix the window. And tonight you sleep on the floor -- like the dog that you are.
[Jailer brings Simon back to the cell and Simon is handcuffed to a cell bar.]

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June, 2002