EPISODE 6/22/06
Simon Remembers

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June, 2006


THURSDAY, JUNE 22, 2006

Scene 1:
Location: Cruise Ship
Scene: Kasnoff's Cabin

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE KASNOFF, MIKE KASNOFF

>> Katie: This was a bad accident. Just go, please, and leave us alone for the rest of the cruise. Actually, just get off the boat.
>> Simon: Can we at least wait 'til we get to port? I mean, I'm a good swimmer, but there are sharks out there. By the way, why do I have to cut my vacation short?
>> Katie: You owe us that much.
[ Knocking on door ]
>> Mike: Katie, it's me. Are you -- decent?
>> Simon: Hey.
>> Mike: Open the door.
>> Simon: Hubby's home. Let me --
>> Katie: Shut up. Do not -- do not utter a word.
>> Mike: What are you doing in there?
>> Katie: I'm sorry. I'll be right there.
[ Simon hides in the bathroom. ] I was just -- hi. I thought I was supposed to meet you up on the deck when I was done.
>> Mike: Well, that was the plan. But I got a little impatient. How was my special surprise?
>> Katie: It was quite surprising.
>> Mike: What happened, you didn't like it?
>> Katie: No, no, the massage was a great idea. It's just -- the masseur was just so-so.
>> Mike: Oh, you're kidding? I wanted this to be a great gift for you.
>> Katie: Oh, honey, it was. I just kind of have this problem where I don't want anyone's hands on me but yours.
>> Mike: Well, I'll just have to finish what he started then.
>> Katie: Oh. What are you doing?
>> Mike: Getting some of that lotion you like.
[ Mike heads for the bathroom. ]
>> Katie: No, no, no, no! You can't go in there.


Scene 2:
Location: Cruise Ship
Scene: Kasnoff's Cabin

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE KASNOFF, MIKE KASNOFF

>> Mike: What's the matter with you? I thought a massage was supposed to chill you out?
>> Katie: Well, they are -- they do. They -- the masseur is in the bathroom washing oil off his hands.
>> Mike: He's really quiet.
>> Katie: I know. So what's going on up on the deck? Anything interesting?
>> Mike: Oh, I ran into that chick from across the hall. Her name is Vienna.
>> Katie: Like the sausage?
>> Mike: Yeah. She cornered me in the lounge, tried to rope us into having dinner with her and her boyfriend.
>> Katie: Oh, no. You didn't say yes, did you?
>> Mike: No. Everything was booked by the time she tried to reserve. But I don't think she's gonna give up.
>> Katie: Well, then you need to go upstairs and make sure that they didn't mess up our reservation.
>> Mike: No, no, I'll just call 'em.
>> Katie: No, you have to go upstairs. She stole our breakfast!
>> Mike: You think she's gonna steal our dinner seats?
>> Katie: I would not put anything past that witch. You go up there, and I'm gonna take a shower and get dressed. Go!
>> Mike: Okay.
>> Katie: Get her. Make sure.
[ Mike leaves. ]
>> Simon: Look, it's gonna be a little tight, but I'm sure we can squeeze in the shower together.
>> Katie: Scram! Get out, now! Mike and I are on our honeymoon! I'm not gonna let you ruin that for us.
>> Simon: Well, if I can do that, then you two are definitely doing something wrong together. And by the way, aren't honeymoons meant to be spent in bed? I mean, ours was.
>> Katie: Get out, and get back to your room!
>> Simon: Well, I can't go back to my room. Especially --
>> Katie: No, no, no, I don't want to know! I don't want to know where your room is. I don't even want to know what deck you're on. Just forget we exist. And if you see us coming before we see you, please, just go to the other side of the boat. I mean it.
>> Simon: You really mean it? You seriously, you just want me to leave you completely alone.
>> Katie: Yes, I mean it.
>> Simon: All right I'm leaving.
>> Katie: Just go!


Scene 3:
Location: Cruise Ship
Scene: Simon's Cabin

SIMON FRASIER, VIENNA HYATT

>> Vienna: Well, how do I look?
>> Simon: Swell.
>> Vienna: I had a drink with the guy from across the hall today. What he's doing with that ice princess I will never know.
>> Simon: Uh-huh.
>> Vienna: Aren't you even a tiny bit jealous? I did it for you. You said we should bury the hatchet with our neighbors, and we'll do it at dinner.
>> Simon: I thought they said the dining room was fully booked?
>> Vienna: Where'd you hear that?
>> Simon: Around.
>> Vienna: Well, you know me, I didn't take no for an answer. So get dressed and let's have some fun.
>> Simon: You know what, this whole boat thing is making me kind of queasy. I might give it a miss, actually.
>> Vienna: You're turning into a real kill-joy, aren't you, lover?
[ Vienna leaves ]
[ Simon finds a hairpin in Vienna's things and picks the lock to the Kasnoff's cabin. ]
[ He finds a locket he gave Katie. ]
>> Simon: I gave you this and you kept it, didn't you, Katie?


Scene 4:
Location: Cruise Ship
Scene: Bar

SIMON FRASIER, VIENNA HYATT, KATIE KASNOFF, MIKE KASNOFF

>> Katie: Hey.
>> Mike: Hey. I'm glad I checked on our dinner reservations. A few people had some mix-ups.
>> Katie: Well, after everything we've been through the past couple of days, I'm just excited to have dinner with some nice, quiet people.
>> Vienna: Hey there! It looks like we might be able to have that drink after all, cutie.
>> Mike: Really?
>> Vienna: I think so. We're having dinner together. So you and I can have some time to get better acquainted. Your little girlfriend here --
>> Katie: Wife.
>> Vienna: Whatever.
>> Katie: And where's your boyfriend?
>> Vienna: He didn't feel well.
>> Simon: No, no, no, I'm fully recovered. Babe, you look ravishing. Beautiful evening for a sunset dinner, don't you think?
[ Mike and Katie are totally surprised. ]

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June, 2006