EPISODE 7/3/00
Simon Makes Lily A New Outfit

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Simonscript
July, 2000


MONDAY, JULY 3, 2000

Scene 1:
Place: Deserted island off of the North Carolina coast - Atlantic Ocean.

Location: The cave.

SIMON FRAISER AND LILY WALSH SNYDER

[Simon wakes up and looks at Lily beside him.]

[Lily wakes up and looks at Simon looking at her.]

Scene 2:
Location: The cave.

SIMON FRAISER AND LILY WALSH SNYDER

>> Lily: I'm sorry.
>> Simon: For what?
>> Lily: Sorry -- for hogging the bed. You couldn't have been that comfortable for you.
>> Simon: No, I was -- it was really quite comfortable -- all things considered.
>> Lily: I wonder what time it is.
>> Simon: Well, judging from the angle of the sunlight shining into our domicile, I would say it's, it's probably well past noon.
>> Lily: Whoa, I cannot remember the last time I slept this much of the day away.
>> Simon: Probably the last time a storm kept you up half the night.
>> Lily: Ah, it was amazing, wasn't it? It was so -- wow, the lightning. It was so close.
>> Simon: Yes, it was. But, hey, look it's, it's all good. It's all good, because we survived. Yeah. Although, my humble abode's a little worse for wear.
>> Lily: I guess we should call and cancel that photo shoot for better "caves and gardens."
>> Simon: Yeah -- well, I really should start restoring a little bit of order to this place.
>> Lily: Look, Simon, there's something that I need to say. That I want to say. Thanks. I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you.
>> Simon: There are some people who would say "I told you so." But I'm not one of them. Hey, look, I'm just glad we're both all right.
>> Lily: Till the next storm.
>> Simon: Yeah, which could be at any time, actually.
>> Lily: You think?
>> Simon: I tell ya, it's hard to know for sure. I mean, my island cable weather channel seems to have lost it's antenna. Hey, look, to be on the safe side -- why don't we make this living arrangement permanent?
>> Lily: Are you asking me to move in with you, again?
>> Simon: Yeah. Come on, why don't you reconsider? I mean, you've seen how much safer it is in here and comfortable. I mean, you were comfortable last night?
>> Lily: It's hard to get comfortable in wet clothes, and it's so cold.
>> Simon: Hey, never mind, I mean, if you're going to give me a hard time about it.
>> Lily: No, it's a generous offer. And I accept.
>> Simon: Yeah? Well, good, good. It's never too late to come to your senses.

Scene 3:
Location: The cave.

SIMON FRAISER AND LILY WALSH SNYDER

>> Simon: Okay, there we go. Voila! We have transformed our studio cave into a two-bedroom, one bath.
>> Lily: Oh, don't teasee. I would give anything for a bath.
>> Simon: So take one.
>> Lily: I'm really not up for a salty dip in the sea.
>> Simon: No, no, no, no, no. Come here. Come here. Come here. Through there. And here we go. Our very own hot-spring spa.
>> Lily: What, I don't see anything.
>> Simon: Well, we have to remove the covers.
>> Lily: Is it a mirage?
>> Simon: Nope. It's the real thing.
>> Lily: How come you didn't tell me about this!
>> Simon: Oh, yeah, what do I say to you, "hey, Lily, why - don't you come up to my place for a bit of dip in the spa"? You would have slapped me.
>> Lily: You're right. But -- well, now that we're cave mates, you know, I --
>> Simon: Exactly. So why don't you -- why don't you, why don't you try it out. It'll warm you up.
>> Lily: What about you?
>> Simon: No, no, no. I'll wait my turn. That's fine.
>> Lily: I'll definitely take you up on that. This time I'm gonna go for it. Maybe we should put your new invention to use.
>> Simon: The new -- the screen. Hey, yeah -- of course what was I thinking?
>> Lily: I don't want to hear what that was.
>> Simon: All right -- go ahead. All right. Okay. All righty then, you're safe.

Scene 4:
Location: The cave.

SIMON FRAISER AND LILY WALSH SNYDER

>> Lily: So is there anything else in here you haven't told me about? Sauna? Steam room?
>> Simon: Not yet. But -- but give me a week.
>> Lily: That wouldn't surprise me. I think you could build an entire resort out of branches, twigs and berries. You do have, sort of, a knack for this kind of life.
>> Simon: Well, to tell you the truth, being stranded here is kind of fulfilling a fan -- fantasy for me. I probably should really explain what I meant by that.
>> Lily: The sooner the better.
>> Simon: Well, you see, when I was a kid I was somewhat of a loner. And I kind of liked the idea of getting away from it all, you know, far away from the hustle and the bustle with nothing more to sustain me except nature and a trusted friend.
>> Lily: Well, you can stay here as long as you like. But I am planning to move on. I'm not going to be your sidekick.
>> Simon: Come on, don't you find this peaceful solitude the -- the least bit appealing?
>> Lily: I find my home appealing, and my family, and friends. I have a wonderful life back in Oakdale. And intend to get back to it.
>> Simon: Yeah, well, you do have a lot to go home to.
>> Lily: What about you? I mean, don't you have something, someone, to go back to -- family.
>> Simon: Come on, you've met my nut-bag sister. I mean, as you probably guessed, Celia's not exactly a joy at Christmas.
>> Lily: You didn't have anything that mattered to you back there? Just looking for that diamond?
>> Simon: The Rose of Sharon is extraordinarily valuable, both emotionally and financially. And it should have been mine.
>> Lily: But it's not, either your gun happy sister has it or Rose has hocked it. But you just gotta, gotta move on. It's time to let it go.
>> Simon: Easier said than done.
>> Lily: What you have to do is find something else that matters. Something else that's important to you. Come on, Simon, you know my entire life story. Can I have an abbreviated version of yours? Simon?
>> Simon: Hey, you really should get into that bath before you catch a chill.
>> Lily: Good idea.
>> Simon: Be careful. The water could be very hot.
>> Lily: Some people like it hot. And I happen to be one of them. Oh -- whoo! Oh, Simon, you really have to try this.
>> Simon: Yeah, I should. Yeah. A little bit later, maybe, all right? You enjoy your privacy. All right?
>> Lily: Now, this is paradise.

Scene 5:
Location: The cave.

SIMON FRAISER AND LILY WALSH SNYDER

>> Lily: This is great. Oh! My clothes? Where are my clothes? That's why he wanted me to take a bath first, you know, Simon! Simon! Just show your face to me right now! Simon! Get in here! Simon!
>> Simon: What's up, Lily? Are you okay? Whoa, okay.
>> Lily: You are -- you know, you're a sick little frat boy, that's what you are.
>> Simon: Now, what did I do to cop this verbal abuse?
>> Lily: Just give them back to me please.
>> Simon: Give what? What? What?
>> Lily: My clothes. You took my clothes.
>> Simon: I did not. Surprisingly enough, it didn't occur to me. I must be losing my touch.
>> Lily: Okay. If you didn't do it, then who did? We are the only people, human beings, on this island.
>> Simon: Well, maybe it wasn't a human at all.
>> Lily: Aliens?
>> Simon: No, or an animal. And animal scrounging.
>> Lily: Oh, that's wonderful. So if you don't have my clothes, some mongoose is making a nest -- what am I going to do without clothes?!
>> Simon: Oh.
>> Lily: Don't even think, no, we're not starting a nudist colony on this god-forsaken place.
>> Simon: Really? I thought my luck was finally starting to change.
>> Lily: This is not a joke! This is a serious problem for me.
>> Simon: Look, it's okay. All right? I'll -- I'll sort something out for you. All right?
>> Lily: What are you going to do? The shopping is very minimal on this island.
>> Simon: Look, just leave everything up to me. All right? I'll be right back.
>> Lily: Well, go! I'm going to turn into a prune!
>> Simon: And the loveliest prune I ever did see.

Scene 6:
Location: The cave.

SIMON FRAISER AND LILY WALSH SNYDER

>> Simon: One more bit and here, and that, that is all you're getting.
>> Lily: This should be enough, I guess.
>> Simon: Come on, come on. How long does it take to wrap a couple of bits of cloth around yourself?
>> Lily: Not much longer. A minute. Okay. You laugh at me you die.
>> Simon: All right, I promise, no laughing.

[Lily unveils her makeshift bikini and sarong.]
>> Simon: Whoa. See, no laughing.
>> Lily: How dumb do I look?
>> Simon: No, no, you don't look dumb. You -- well, what you look is great. You look -- you look great.
>> Lily: Really?
>> Simon: Yeah, yeah. Would I lie to you?
>> Lily: Uh?
>> Simon: All right. All right, okay. Let me rephrase that totally. Have I lied to you lately?
>> Lily: I'm not sure. I mean, there could be some weasel out there walking around in my clothes. Either way, the bath felt great. So great. And revitalizing. Sounds like a cheesy soap commercial, don't I?
>> Simon: No, no, no, no, no, no. What you sound is a lot happier. And that is a sound I could definitely get used to, I must say.
>> Lily: It feels good to have a change of clothes on, even if the outfit is a little crude.
>> Simon: Come on, you look perfect. Well, almost perfect.
>> Lily: What?
>> Simon: The fabric's a little twisted here.
>> Lily: I know.
>> Simon: No, no, here --
>> Lily: Trying to make it --
>> Simon: Let me. There. Better?
>> Lily: Much, better. Thanks.

Scene 7:
Location: The cave.

SIMON FRAISER AND LILY WALSH SNYDER

>> Lily: I'm gonna -- I'm gonna head out.
>> Simon: Yeah, okay. You got a hot date?
>> Lily: Maybe I'll just walk around and see if there's some jungle animal wearing my Donna Karan.
>> Simon: Sure. I'm just gonna finish cleaning up around here, I guess. I suppose.
>> Lily: Bye.
>> Simon: Yeah. Okay. You be safe.

SIMON FRAISER ALONE.

>> Simon: What is it about you, Lily Snyder? All right. Okay.

SIMON FRAISER DISCOVERS SOMETHING IN LILY'S COAT POCKET LINING.

>> Simon: What is this? In the lining, right? Okay. Oh, no, no, no, no. No, no, it can't be. No. The Rose of sharon. That conniving little -- she has been lying to me the entire time.


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July, 2000