EPISODE 7/30/01
Simon And Katie Open The Handcuffs

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July, 2001


MONDAY, JULY 30, 2001

Scene 1:
[ Basement of Opera House in Malta ]
[ Katie and Simon are handcuffed by their captors. Simon is attempting to grab a silver cross on a chain around Katie's neck with his teeth ]

>> Katie: That feels great. No, wait. Back to the left. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes! [ Heavy breathing ]
>> Simon: Got it. Whoo! Oh, boy.
>> Katie: Simon, that was -- that was incredible. Next time, I'm wearing two crosses.
>> Simon: Really? Well, one is all we need. If we just it to pick the lock on these cuffs --
>> Katie You make me feel like a -- a hot cinnamon roll, dripping with icing. Oh, no, no, wait. Chocolate pudding.
>> Simon: Oh, will you stop reading the dessert menu? I need a little help here.
>> Katie: Why didn't you say so? What do you need, my hubby dearest?
>> Simon: Well, for one thing, I need you to keep your voice down just a little bit, okay?
>> Katie: Why? You think those horrible guys are still out there, probably waiting for us to starve to death? I hope that Dante guy doesn't come back. He is so scary.
>> Simon: I don't like him much either, which is why I want to get out of here before he returns. Now scoot behind me, get the cross, and pick the lock on these cuffs.
>> Katie: Okay, but before I do, I just want to tell you that I really, really love what we just did.
>> Simon: Come on.
>> Katie: It was teamwork.
>> Simon: Yes. Yes, it was teamwork. It was great teamwork, but here's some more teamwork for you -- help me get out of these cuffs.
>> Katie: Okay. When I do get them off you, I think we should take a pair home -- I mean, take one with us so we can get the bad guys. Get your mind out of the gutter. All right, now sit still.

Scene 2:
[ Basement of Opera House ]

>> Simon: Okay, okay. Just -- just slip the long end in. Turn it -- until you feel a slight release.
>> Katie: Ah, I think I feel it.
>> Simon: Katie --
[ Katie laughs ]
>> Katie: What? Do you mind telling me how you know how to get out of handcuffs?
>> Simon: No, just an old Swedish girlfriend of mine. She was kind of a kinky -- I'm just joking, all right? It was a magician friend of mine. Come to think of it, he was pretty kinky, as well. Can we just get the cross, put it in and get back to work? Will you stop using my back as a scratching post? Or we'll never get out of here?
>> Katie: Men are so goal-oriented.
[ Katie sighs ]
>> Simon: Are you getting anywhere?
>> Katie: Yeah, wait. Oh, wait, it's turning.
>> Simon: That's it, that's it.
>> Katie: Oh, it's unlocked!
>> Simon: That's it! Oh! Katie, you are brilliant.
>> Katie: Oh, my gosh, I
>> Simon: Come here, come here, come here. [ he kisses Katie ]
>> Katie: Ooh. Come here, come here, come here.
>> Simon: No, no, no. Listen, listen, listen. We'd better keep the cuffs half-on in case the guards come on in here.
>> Katie: Good idea.
>> Simon: All right let me do you.
>> Katie: I thought you'd never ask.
>> Simon: Get your mind out of the -- turn around you nympho. Okay. Wait, on second thoughts --
>> Katie: What? Why are you stopping?
>> Simon: I was just thinking. You'd be a hell of a lot easier to handle if I kept these babies on.

Scene 3:
[ Basement of Opera House ]

>> Katie: You'd better be kidding about not getting me out of these cuffs, Simon. Don't even think about it, or I am through with you.
>> Simon: Oh, no! No, you're not gonna leave me?
>> Katie: Leave you? Are you kidding? I'll kill you!
>> Simon: Okay, all right. Fine, fine. I'm sure you could level me and every single one of those guards without even raising a fist, so I'll spare us all the pain.
>> Katie: That's right.
>> Simon: So just keep still. Wait a sec. Doesn't seem to be working on yours.
>> Katie: Simon!
>> Simon: All right! Okay, okay. A little to the left. There.
>> Katie: Oh! That feels so much better! I think I'll give you a big hug.
>> Simon: Whoa. Whoa, Katie.
>> Katie: Wanna know something?
>> Simon: Probably not.
>> Katie: When we got locked up in here, I was really scared. But then I realized that -- I knew you'd get me out of here. And you know what? You're doing it.

Scene 4:
[ Basement of Opera House ]

>> Simon: Back off. I cannot trust you for a minute, can I?
>> Katie: That was a real kiss. Something we both wanted. You can admit that, can't you?
>> Simon: Look, when someone holds you captive and threatens to kill you, I got to tell you, it does wonders for the old libido. Don't take those off. It'll take too long to tie up if the guards come in. Leave them there.
[ Katie and Simon hear the Church bells ringing ]
>> Katie: I really should start going back to church.
>> Simon: Wait. Wait, wait. I wonder if Holden and Luke heard those church bells when they were in here?
>> Katie: Probably.
>> Simon: Okay. Listen, listen. If you escaped and you needed a safe place to go in a foreign country, where would you go?
>> Katie: I don't know.
>> Simon: Well, you'd probably go to the one place where the people are bound by oath to help anyone in need.
>> Katie: Oh, Simon, if you're right, Holden and Luke are in the safest possible place.

Scene 5:
[ Basement of Opera House ]

>> Simon: I'm sure that Holden and Luke would have heard those Church bells if they were in here.
>> Katie: And churches are neutral territory, everyone knows that.
>> Simon: Exactly.
>> Katie: Oh, I want to think that. I want to think that Holden and Luke got through that hole and went straight for that church.
>> Simon: Katie, get back to back, quick.
>> Guard #1: Too much noise in there. Shut up or you'll stay that way and you will not live to see tomorrow.
>> Katie: Well, it's pretty dark in here. Sounds like the guard's walking away, doesn't it?
>> Simon: Yes. Yes, it does. Which means, this is our chance to get to work on that wall. Are you going to give me a hand, or you going to just sit there looking perky?
>> Katie: I told you never, ever to call me that.
>> Simon: Okay, fine. Then get up and make yourself useful.


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July, 2001