EPISODE 7/28/06
Simon Is Confronted

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Simonscript
July, 2006


FRIDAY, JULY 28, 2006

Scene 1:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Dining Room

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Carly: I have a feeling this renovation's going to be fun.
>> Simon: Not to mention just a little bit of hard work.
>> Carly: Hard work doesn't scare me.
>> Simon: I can't imagine much does.
>> Carly: So when do we get started, looking at paint and fabric swatches and shaking plaster out of our hair?
>> Simon: Well, I have a blind low bid out to a contractor to handle structural changes. Once I've decided on that, I can devote my full attention to you and your inspired interiors.
>> Carly: Oh, well -- how inspired depends on what kind of budget we're talking about here.
>> Simon: Whatever it takes to get the job done. Sky's the limit.
>> Carly: Well, that sounds great. But why give me a blank check and low-ball the contractor?
>> Simon: I just prefer to spend my money on things that interest me.
>> Carly: You're the boss.
>> Simon: I'll try not to abuse my power. Listen, I've got these -- you know what? I think I've left these bids up in my suite. If you hold the fort, I'll be back in a flash.
>> Carly: Sure.
[ Simon leaves ]
[ Katie comes out from hiding. ]
>> Katie: Working hard or hardly working?
>> Carly: Well, this wouldn't be you spying, would it?


Scene 2:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Dining Room

CARLY SNYDER, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Katie: Damn straight it is. So talk fast. What's Simon up to? And how does it involve me?
>> Katie: Come on, Carly, before Simon gets back. Tell me what he's up to.
>> Carly: Hi, Katie. How are you doing? It's nice to see you, too.
>> Katie: Just give me his game plan on how he plans to get me back tangled up into his life.
>> Carly: You know, Katie, you look an awful lot like an old friend of mine who said she was going to stear clear of all of this.
>> Katie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mike thinks that we should just go on with our lives and ignore Simon, too.
>> Carly: Mike is right.
>> Katie: Ignoring Simon is like ignoring history. It's bound to repeat itself, and I want to be prepared when it does. So just tell me what's going on. Has he asked you to spy on me yet?
>> Carly: Yes. Yes, as a matter of fact, he has. In fact, these are the plans right here to snare you. And I'm supposed to memorize them and then eat them.
[ Carly laughs ]
>> Katie: No!
>> Carly: Come on -- no, Simon has not asked me to spy on you.
>> Katie: Not yet. But he will. He's gonna find some way to use you to get back into my life.
>> Carly: Come on, give me some credit for brains, okay?
>> Katie: No offense. You wouldn't be the first woman that he's played to get what he wants.
>> Carly: Oh, and you think what he wants is still you, his ex.
>> Katie: We're still on our honeymoon, so, please, be a friend. If he starts plotting something, let me know what it is so I don't end up on an island with a crab hanging off my toe.
>> Carly: I know your history with Simon, but honestly Katie, it's been strictly business. Your name hasn't even come up.
>> Katie: Carly, you don't have to cover for the guy just because he signs your paychecks. If I can't count on you to leak his plans, then I can't be prepared --
>> Carly: No, Katie -- Katie, there's no plan. There's nothing to leak. Simon hasn't talked about you. At all.


Scene 3:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Dining Room

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Carly: There is no scheme. You know, I think that Simon has really given up on you. So you should just relax, you know? Because I think you've been voted off that deserted island, huh?
>> Katie: Did he say that?
>> Carly: No. No, the subject has never come up. But really, I'm getting the feeling that you're the one that got away and Simon's leaving it at that.
>> Katie: Oh.
>> Carly: Oh? Well, that doesn't sound like a sigh of relief.
>> Katie: No, it's just -- it's just that what Simon doesn't say can be as sneaky and underhanded as what he does say. Either way, I don't trust him, and I don't think you should either.
>> Carly: You know the state of my life right now. And the state of my bank account. I need this job. But even more than that, I need you to understand.
>> Katie: I do. I do. It's not your motives I'm worried about.
[ Katie leaves the table. ]
[ Simon enters dining room. ]
>> Simon: Hello, Katie. As lovely as usual. Now, I'm assuming you've got nothing to say to me --
>> Katie: No, I've got plenty to say to you. And now is as good a time as any.


Scene 4:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Dining Room

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Katie: Just -- just to be sure and clear about everything, you're the last person in the world that I want to have anything to do with.
>> Simon: Yet here you are, all up in my airspace. Am I missing something here?
>> Katie: The only reason I'm here, up in your airspace, is Carly.
>> Simon: Oh, right. Oh, she's great girl, isn't she? I'm very lucky to have her onboard. Poor choice of words.
>> Katie: Yeah.
>> Simon: She's a terrific hire.
>> Katie: Well, she's my friend, and I'm worried about her.
>> Simon: Really?
>> Katie: I'm worried that you're using her for your own nefarious purposes.
>> Simon: Nefarious? Did you just say nefarious?
>> Katie: Yes, I did.
>> Simon: You really have been reading too many of those trashy novels, Katie. Oh, wait a minute. No, no, no. I hear you're writing them now.
>> Katie: Mm, best seller! Carly doesn't know you like I do.
>> Simon: I'm sure you filled her in on my evil ways.
>> Katie: You could have hired anyone for this "interior design" -- whatever it is. Why Carly?
>> Simon: I think she's very talented, we work well together. It's an honest job, I pay her well. It's as simple as that.
>> Katie: No, no! Nothing is that simple with you, Simon. And as for honest, Margo told me that you already managed to get yourself -- and Carly -- in trouble with the police.
>> Simon: Small, little misunderstanding, easily cleared up. Tell me, Katie, please -- look, just come clean, I'm kind of busy -- what has got you all whipped up into such a frenzy?
>> Katie: You want to know? You really, really want to know?
>> Simon: I'd love to, humor me.
>> Katie: I'm worried that you're using Carly to get in between me and Mike so you can move in.
>> Simon: On you, not Mike, I presume?
>> Katie: You know what I mean.
>> Simon: So this isn't about Carly at all? This is -- this is about you.
>> Katie: I know you, Simon. Don't forget, you just tried to keep me captive on a deserted island that just happened to have a four-star restaurant and a championship golf course.
>> Simon: And as a result, I learned a very valuable lesson. There's no going back. Not for us.
>> Katie: Why don't I believe you?
>> Simon: Well, you should, 'cause this Simon Frasier's a changed man who's moved on with his life. I suggest you do the same.


Scene 5:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Dining Room

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Carly: You were gone awhile.
>> Simon: Yeah. Yeah, I ran into a certain someone in the lobby.
>> Carly: A certain Katie?
>> Simon: Yeah. Gave me a real earful, she did.
>> Carly: About you using me to get to her? Yeah.
>> Simon: How did you know?
>> Carly: She just tested the same theory out on me.
>> Simon: Tell me, did she use the word nefarious?
>> Carly: No. No, she didn't. Sneaky, underhanded -- but not nefarious, no.
>> Simon: She didn't put you off, did she? Working for me?
>> Carly: No. Katie's just being Katie. Concerned, protective.
>> Simon: Of herself? Or of you?
>> Carly: Maybe a little of both.
>> Simon: And tell me, do you think you need protecting?
>> Carly: I think I know how to take care of myself.
>> Simon: Never doubted it for a second. And now to the business at hand. First of all, your retainer.
>> Carly: Well, we certainly are in business.
>> Simon: And now to the moment we've all been waiting for. The identity of the lucky winning bid. It's been hermetically sealed, transported here by an armored vehicle and locked in an accounting office.
[ Carly laughs ] No one, not even I, knows the identity of the true winning bid.
>> Simon: Care to do the honors, young lady?
>> Carly: Me? Oh, wow, this is so exciting! Can I say hello to my Uncle Floyd in Petaluma? Hi, Floyd! And the winner is --


Scene 6:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Kasnoff's Cottage

MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Katie: I hate this! Simon tricking Carly into working for him. It's just wrong on so many levels. He's obviously using her. Which is bad for Carly, and it's bad for us. She thinks I have nothing to worry about. He says that he's moved on, which is such a crock. I mean, and what if he has moved on? To Carly? I'm supposed to just sit back and watch that train wreck happen? I don't want to sound like I'm crying wolf, but you know what? If there was ever a wolf to cry -- Mike, are you listening to me?
>> Mike: Baby, I heard every word you said.
>> Katie: Do you think I'm wrong?
>> Mike: No.
>> Katie: Really? You don't think I'm paranoid or making trouble where there isn't any?
>> Mike: No. Look, not after that cruise from hell we just got back from. I'm concerned about Carly, too, okay? She's coming to this from a broken marriage, which means she's probably a little needier than she normally is. And a guy like Simon Frasier could take advantage of that.
>> Katie: Well, what are we gonna do?
>> Mike: You are gonna stop stressing about it.
>> Katie: Excuse me?
>> Mike: Stop worrying about Simon and start focusing on us.
>> Katie: I love focusing on us. But Simon is out there.
>> Mike: And he's not going to be a problem. Not for you, or me, or Carly, okay? So let it go. Your brilliant husband has it all scoped out.


Scene 7:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Kasnoff's Cottage

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER, MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Katie: Okay. You said that my brilliant husband had it all scoped out. What does that mean? What do you have planned for Simon?
>> Mike: You think our lives will be this exciting in our golden years?
>> Katie: I don't think we're going to make it to our silver years if you don't start talking! Oh, my god, please tell me it's not something drastic.
>> Mike: What do you consider drastic?
>> Katie: Something that involves violence?
>> Mike: I might end up getting hurt. Look, will you trust me to handle Simon? And take care of you?
[ Knocking at door ][ Simon and Carly enter. ]
>> Simon: You've never really been known for your comedy, Mike. So what is this, your first joke?
>> Mike: Not at all.
>> Katie: What is it? Carly, what's going on?
>> Carly: You better let Mike tell you.
>> Mike: I heard that Simon was accepting bids for contractors.
>> Katie: Oh, no.
>> Mike: I'm a contractor.
>> Katie: Mike, this is insane.
>> Carly: I agree completely. You guys can't work together.
>> Katie: You'll kill each other!
>> Mike: So what do you say, Simon? Do I get the job or not?

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July, 2006