EPISODE 7/27/00
Celia Comes To The Island

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July, 2000


THURSDAY, JULY 27, 2000

Scene 1:
Place: Deserted island off of the North Carolina coast - Atlantic Ocean.

Location: The cave.

LILY WALSH SNYDER AND SIMON FRAISER

>> Lily: You might as well stop. Simon. Simon, just --
>> Simon: It's worthless! Piece of junk! I thought the diode was all we needed. How was I supposed to know the battery was dead, too?
>> Lily: We killed him for nothing.
>> Simon: What?! What did you say?
>> Lily: We poisoned that man to get his radio. We did it for nothing.
>> Simon: No! Lily, we stopped him from raping you, from killing the both of us. Come on! What were we supposed to do, peacefully co-exist with him stalking us every second?
>> Lily: At least we could have tried.
>> Simon: Look, he had years on this island and he wanted you. Look, eventually he would have caught us in one of his traps and killed us both. Besides all that, it was an accident, all right?
>> Lily: We poisoned him.
>> Simon: No! No, we drugged him, and he drank too much of his hard liquor. That's what killed him. If he hadn't gone after you with his machete --
>> Lily: What?
>> Simon: Machete.
>> Lily: What? What about it?
>> Simon: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think I can build a battery.
>> Lily: How?
>> Simon: We're gonna need a bunch of stuff. Metal, some kind of rod.
>> Lily: Well, where are we gonna get that?
>> Simon: Copper. Copper. It's in his hut. It's all there -- things that he's salvaged from the shipwreck, things that have washed up on shore. Look, we need to go scavenging. Come on.
>> Lily: No, no, no, no! I can't! I can't go back there.
>> Simon: All right, all right. I will be back as soon as possible.

Scene 2:
Location: The cave.

LILY WALSH SNYDER AND SIMON FRAISER

>> Lily: Where did you learn all this stuff?
>> Simon: Uh -- I was an eagle scout.
>> Lily: I don't believe it.
>> Simon: Yeah. Here it comes.
>> Lily: Aren't eagle scouts supposed to be honest, trustworthy, helpful? I think those are the three.
>> Simon: Hey, hey, do you want to use my radio?
>> Lily: Like I said, you're all of those things. It's too bad you didn't get your merit badge in boat building.
>> Simon: Oh, ha, ha, ha. Laugh it up. Yeah, you better hold on to your sense of humor, 'cause you're gonna need it.
>> Lily: Okay, now why the machete?
>> Simon: That which does not kill you, gets you rescued.
>> Lily: Okay. What else do we need?
>> Simon: That's it. All done. For luck.
>> Lily: All right, let's start it up.
>> Simon: All right. All right. Stay back.
>> Lily: Oh! It worked! Simon, that worked!

[Lily hugs Simon.]

Scene 3:
Location: The cave.

LILY WALSH SNYDER AND SIMON FRAISER

>> Lily: Want to look into my crystal ball?
>> Simon: All right, yeah. I'll chance it.
>> Lily: All right. First, find celia.
>> Simon: Oh, come on. Why on earth would I want to do that?
>> Lily: Because you want her to get the psychiatric help that she needs so she won't kill you.
>> Simon: Good point, yeah. Then next?
>> Lily: Then you find Rose.
>> Simon: Doesn't sound like so much fun, so far.
>> Lily: But the diamond is at least half hers.
>> Simon: All right, okay. I'll find Rose.
>> Lily: Then, you put this media campaign together with your diamond, telling everybody about the diamond and your great grandfather's letters.
>> Simon: Why?
>> Lily: Because it increases the value. Socialites like their diamonds to have legends attached to them. You'll have this big auction at Sotheby's and you'll get millions of dollars for the diamond.
>> Simon: Which -- I know this one -- I share with Rose?
>> Lily: That's right. Rose can buy her own casino and live high on the hog, as she says. And you'll go back to your farm.
>> Simon: Station.
>> Lily: Station. And raise chickens and chase kangaroos, whatever you do out there.
>> Simon: Well, sounds idyllic. What about you?
>> Lily: I'll go back to car pooling and potty training.
>> Simon: Which will make you positively ecstatic.
>> Lily: I can't wait.
>> Simon: What about us? Do we just part forever? Do we remain friends? Or will you just go on your merry way and just forget all about me?
>> Lily: I could never forget about you. But there's Holden.
>> Simon: Yeah, not my biggest fan.
>> Lily: No, I don't think he'll be inviting you over for dinner.
>> Simon: Probably not.
[Plane in background.]
>> Simon: Did I just imagine that?
>> Lily: No. It's real. Someone's coming! Come on!

Scene 4:
Location: The cave.

LILY WALSH SNYDER AND SIMON FRAISER

>> Lily: Hey! We're over here! We're over here! Hey!
>> Simon: You stay put here.
>> Lily: Where are you going?
>> Simon: Further up the beach, in case a plane tries to land there.

LILY WALSH SNYDER ALONE.

>> Lily: Hey! We're over here! Hey!

LILY WALSH SNYDER AND CELIA FRAISER

>> Lily: No! No!
>> Celia: Lily!
[Celia laughs.]
>> Celia: Why, Lily, is that any way to welcome your new company?


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July, 2000