EPISODE 7/21/06
Simon Rich?

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July, 2006


FRIDAY, JULY 21, 2006

Scene 1:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Outside Kasnoff's Cottage

SIMON FRASIER, MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Mike: A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
>> Simon: Well, that's a very good attitude, Michael.
>> Mike: And I've just got to do this.
[ Mike hits Simon. ]
>> Katie: Mike! What are you doing?
>> Mike: Just letting Simon know where I stand.
>> Simon: Yeah, well, my friend, that's a habit you're gonna want to break.
>> Mike: Well, pay attention -- it won't have to happen again, will it?
>> Katie: What is going on? What are you doing here, Simon?
>> Mike: Your ex is marking his territory.
>> Simon: No, not -- although I do love what you've done with the place. Katie I'm here to tell you that I'm staying in town. I wanted you to hear it from me before you heard it from anyone else, that's it.
>> Katie: Well, that's a little too late. I just talked to Carly at the Lakeview. She told me about your little scam -- offering to invest in her business. Simon, come on!
>> Simon: What is it with you guys and thinking I'm trying to scam? This is no scam.
>> Mike: Everything you do is a scam.
>> Simon: I offered her a business deal. That's all.
>> Mike: Business deals require cash. And without that girlfriend you had on board ship, I don't know where you're gonna come up with it.
>> Simon: All right then, so I guess this is where I bring you up to speed, right? I struck oil.
[ Mike scoffs ]
>> Katie: What?
>> Simon: You heard me. Black gold. I'm rolling in it.


Scene 2:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Outside Kasnoff's Cottage

SIMON FRASIER, MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Mike: If you have money, it's because you cleaned Vienna out.
>> Simon: Vienna, yeah -- oh, no, no, Vienna is chump change compared to what I'm now worth.
>> Katie: Oh, really? Well, don't stop there. Do tell us more.
>> Simon: Oh, okay. Well, after you sold my sheep farm in Australia, I scraped enough money to buy it back. Long story short, the well ran dry. So I started digging a new one and instead of water, I struck oil. Lots of oil -- blah, blah, blah, here I am. Life changes in an instant, doesn't it?
>> Katie: So here you are in the famous millionaire's playground, Oakdale.
>> Simon: Well, why not? I've got to start investing somewhere, why not here? I've already put the word out to Lucinda Walsh. So, we'll see.
>> Katie: You and Lucinda, business partners? Oh, that I have to see.
>> Simon: All right, what's it gonna take for you to believe that I'm just a simple, innocent businessman now here in the great land to try my luck?
>> Mike: You know, you're so full of it --
>> Katie: Simon, I know you're lying. Because if you had really struck it rich, you would've use that to get to me on the cruise ship. And you didn't.


Scene 3:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Outside Kasnoff's Cottage

SIMON FRASIER, MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Katie: How is it you neglected to mention that you had struck oil and oh, also, planned on moving back to Oakdale when we were on the cruise ship?
>> Simon: Because it had nothing to do with you.
>> Katie: So you just picked a random small town to live in, and it just happened to be mine.
>> Simon: Wow, you really are convinced that everything I do is all about you, aren't you?
>> Mike: You think so? You tried to keep Katie captive on a deserted island knowing you were sitting on a golf course. And look how Vienna just suddenly disappeared now that Katie's back in your life. And not to mention all the other times --
>> Simon: You know what, Mike, apart from a fairly suspect right hook, you've got a very suspicious mind.
>> Mike: For good reason. You're a con man. Your only interest in doing business with Carly is to get closer to Katie.
>> Simon: Ah. Got me. 'Cause I got nothing else better to do. You got me all figured out, haven't you?
>> Mike: I do. Just in time. I'm gonna call Jack, have him run a little check on you. If it turns out of your money came from Vienna's little diamond collection, I'll make sure he runs you straight back to that little sheep farm that you're so fond of.


Scene 4:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Outside Kasnoff's Cottage

SIMON FRASIER, MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Simon: So this is what it's come to, huh? You know what, I really did just stop by to tell you my plans. Just so you wouldn't think I had any secret agenda.
>> Katie: Well, I don't think you have him convinced.
>> Simon: Who, Mike? Oh, well, yeah, can't win them all.
>> Katie: He's too smart to fall for your games.
>> Simon: Yeah. He is smart, isn't he? Very punchy. Oh, not to mention, obviously extremely good with his hands. You know what, jackpot. You got it all.
>> Katie: I do have it all. A wonderful husband, a wonderful life -- you can have a life for yourself too here, if that's what you want. But just please stay away from me and Mike and my family and friends. I don't want to have to run into you around town and make chit-chat and all of that. [ Door opens ] I just can't do that, okay. You owe me that. Please. Did you get a hold of Jack?
>> Mike: Voice mail. I asked Jack to run a little background check on Simon here. >> Simon: Good. That's good news. 'Cause whatever background check he runs, I'm sure it's only going to confirm my story.
>> Katie: Yeah, whatever. Listen, whatever you have planned here, if it does include me, just back off, okay? Mike and I are solid. Our love is solid. There's no way you can break us up. And as for Carly, please stay away from her too, okay? Back off. Is that clear?
>> Simon: Crystal.
>> Katie: I rushed home as soon as Carly told me that Simon was back.
>> Mike: I'm sorry it got rough.
>> Katie: I'm not. At least he knows where we both stand now.


Scene 5:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Outside Kasnoff's Cottage

MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF, JACK SNYDER

>> Katie: So Jack, what did you find out?
>> Jack: Well, you are never going to believe this.
>> Mike: Simon didn't really strike it rich? I'm already there.
>> Jack: No Mike, he's not lying.
>> Katie: What?
>> Jack: I went on the internet at the station like you asked me to, and I checked out his story. Apparently, it's true.
>> Katie: I think I'm going to be sick.
>> Jack: Frasier struck oil on that little sheep farm in Australia. He staked his claim, and he's a very rich man.
>> Mike: How rich?
>> Jack: Never has to work another day in his life rich.
>> Katie: That rich?
>> Jack: Mm-hmm.
>> Mike: I guess he didn't steal from Vienna after all.
>> Katie: This is unreal. I was sure he was lying.
>> Jack: But why did he tell you he's back in Oakdale?
>> Mike: Oh, he said he was in town for some investment advice. We're looking at the investment.
>> Katie: What?
>> Mike: Come on. If Simon's got money on top of money, he's going to use every cent of it to try to get you back in his life.
>> Katie: Not enough money in the world, and he should know that by now. You heard me tell him how I feel about you.
>> Mike: Like he was listening.
>> Katie: Well, then I'll just have to say it over and over again until he gets it. Besides, he's going to get bored and move on to someone else.
>> Mike: Simon is too smart for that, all right? That's why he's finessing Carly into this business deal.
>> Katie: Oh yeah. Did you hear about this, Jack?
>> Jack: Ahh, it's none of my business.
>> Katie: You don't want to know how Simon's staking out Carly?
>> Jack: Knowing Carly as well as I do, I almost feel sorry for Simon.
>> Mike: So you're not worried?
>> Jack: No, no. Carly's got a sixth sense about guys like that. There's no way in hell she would ever trust him.


Scene 6:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Bar

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER, LISA GRIMALDI

>> Carly: What a lovely shade of dishpan.
>> Lisa: Ah, my aching arches.
>> Carly: You didn't have to help me.
>> Lisa: Oh, I know. But what is Lucy without Ethel?
>> Carly: Thank you.
>> Lisa: You're welcome. And this, my dear, is the bill. Paid in full.
>> Carly: And I'm free!
>> Lisa: Yes, you are. Oh, look here. What have we here? Ah, there's some champy left. Do you think we should, you know, finish it?
>> Carly: I think we should.
>> Lisa: Oh, that's good. Come on. Thank you. You know what, honey, there's something this old broad has learned. Ah, well, it's all about love. I know good and well that you washed all those pots and pans just to prove something to Jack, right? Now that kind of work's not going to pay all your bills.
>> Carly: This is true.
>> Lisa: Mm-hmm. I really want to know what you're going to do to make ends meet?
[ Simon, looking at Carly...walks into the bar. ]

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July, 2006