EPISODE 7/10/02
Simon Greets Joe

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July, 2002


WEDNESDAY, July 10, 2002

Scene 1:
Location: El Capitan Hotel
Scene: Katie Frasier's Room

"SIMON FRASIER"

["Simon" talking to himself while looking in mirror.]
>> "Simon": Hello, love. G'day, Kate. Katie! Katie! It's always Katie! It's got to be Katie!
[ Talking to Snickerdoodle.]
>>"Simon": You get underfoot one more time, and you're stew. You got that?
[Again talking to himself while looking in the mirror.]
>>"Simon": Yeah. All right, all right. Just take it easy. Take it easy. Relax. Think about the stone. Focus on the stone. So why don't we hit the road, love? We'll cruise this island and you and me do what we do best.

Scene 2:
Location: El Capitan Hotel
Scene: Hotel Lobby

"SIMON FRASIER", KATIE FRASIER, LUCINDA WALSH, ROSE D'ANGELO

>> Katie: You know what's far-fetched? That the man that I love would be acting like that. My Simon came down here and risked his life.
>> Rose: For us, or for the stone? He risked his life in the past for that rock. You know, he still probably wants to strike it rich.
>> Lucinda: Look, you gotta face something, my dear. The Simon that you married, he's gone.
>> Katie: That is what I'm telling you.
>> Lucinda: No. Gone, dear, in the sense that he's changed. He's rewired.
>> Rose: And please get that through your head now. It will be the best thing for all of us.
>> Katie: Come on, Rose, I'm not stupid. I know what I know, and I know a fake Simon Frasier when I kiss one!
>> Rose: So your whole theory about this guy being a fraud is based on one kiss?
>> Katie: Yeah. Like there's a better way?
>> Lucinda: Maybe you and Simon have been apart too long.
>> Katie: Mrs. Walsh, I'm serious. The man I kissed is not my husband, Simon Frasier. Okay? Rose, wouldn't you know Paul's kiss from someone else's?
>> Rose: Yeah. I mean, I would. I would. But if he looked like Paul, acted like Paul, it would very difficult. Think about Holden. I mean, Holden never knew that I wasn't Lily even though I did a perfect job.
>> Katie: Exactly! You were a hoax.
>> Rose: Are you callin' me a hoax?
>> Katie: You know what I mean. The difference here is, I can tell the difference. And I'm not the only one. Simon kissed you, too. I bet you haven't forgotten that. Remember? The day I caught him in your library with ruby and -- I'm sure you haven't forgotten.
>> Lucinda: Of course not.
>> Katie: So, see, this guy was a complete hoax. Lizard lips, disgusting, so not Simon. No tenderness, no lingering hint of passion, no electricity when it hits your toes.
>> Lucinda: No chills up and down that spine?
>> Katie: Exactly. Not even a quiver.
>> Rose: Are you buyin'?
>> Katie: Oh, there he is!
[Simon enters lobby.]
>> Rose: Looking exactly like the Simon Frasier I know and despise.
>> Katie: But he is not. Simon's gone. If you don't believe me, why don't you go over and kiss that no-good schemer yourself?

Scene 3:
Location: El Capitan Hotel
Scene: Hotel Lobby

"SIMON FRASIER". KATIE FRASIER, LUCINDA WALSH, ROSE D'ANGELO

>> Katie: Go ahead. Here's your chance. Go kiss him.
>> Lucinda: I'm not gonna make a fool of myself with my employee just to prove your stupid, absurd theory.
>> "Simon": Hello, sweetheart. Rose, so glad to see you're okay. Where's Paul?
>> Rose: With the cops.
>> Katie: They're holding him for questioning.
>> "Simon": Yeah? Where? Where?
>> Lucinda: We're not exactly sure. And Joe -- Joe is still among the missing.
>> "Simon": Ah. So your father hasn't turned up yet?
>> Rose: No. But I'm goin' crazy.
>> "Simon": Rose, Rose, we're gonna find him. Don't worry.
>> Rose: As long as we don't find him like that Cooley guy.
>> Katie: Yeah, poor Cooley. Dead from a knife wound.
>> "Simon": Yeah, well, you gotta watch your back every second in this place.
>> Katie: Tell me about it.
>> "Simon": Rose, listen to me, please? Excuse me, love. We are gonna find him. Don't worry.
>> Lucinda: Um -- Simon, tell us, have you learned anything?
>> "Simon": Yeah, I've learned that trying to get anyone to talk down here is murder.
>> Katie: Hmm, literally.
>> Rose: Hey, did you get that letter?
>> "Simon": Hmm?
>> Rose: Katie said you had the provenance, the letter that proves the diamond is the real thing?
[ Simon clears his throat ]
>> "Simon": Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course I have. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Henry Coleman coughed it up.
>> Rose: Oh. Good. Can I have it?
>> "Simon": The provenance?
>> Rose: Yeah. It's mine. I should have it.
>> "Simon": It's not that simple.
>> Rose: It is. You find it. I keep it. Simple.
>> "Simon": It's not here.
>> Rose: What do you mean?
>> "Simon": It's not at the hotel. I mean, it's not safe. You know what happened to Cooley, okay? I -- I couldn't risk anyone getting their hands on it.
>> Lucinda: Simon, why don't you get it and bring it here and give it to me for safekeeping?
>> "Simon": I don't want to put you in any danger.
>> Rose: We're already in danger!
>> "Simon": All right, all right! Give me a couple of days. I want to make sure no one follows me.
>> Lucinda: Oh. All right. All right.
>> Rose: What's the plan for my pop?
>> "Simon": Oh, I'll put the feelers out, see what turns up, all right? Look, Joe can't be too far, all right? I'll see you later on, sweetheart, okay?
>> Katie: Can't wait.
>> "Simon": Maybe we can go and get a little convertible, just like the old days. Go for a little drive, you know what I mean?
>> Katie: If that man is Simon Frasier, I'm Oprah Winfrey.
>> Rose: Well, Ms. Winfrey, please.
>> Katie: I am gonna go and search that hotel room and search every piece of this island till I find my husband. And when I do, you guys can say "sorry," because it'll be my turn not to listen.

Scene 4:
Location: Avanya Jailhouse
Scene: Simon's Cell

SIMON FRASIER, "SIMON FRASIER", JOE D'ANGELO, JAILER

>> "Simon": Come on, come on.
>> Simon: Hey, what the hell have you done to him? Joe! Joe!
>> "Simon": Oh, relax, relax. He's not dead yet.
>> Simon: What's wrong with him?
>> "Simon": I don't know. Maybe malaria.
>> Simon: Get him -- get him a doctor. Get him a doctor.
>> "Simon": Don't give me orders, punk. That fool Cooley left him out on the boat too long. I don't know. Maybe he got too much sun.
>> Simon: Joe -- easy, easy. Easy. Joe, it's me -- Simon. You made it. It's gonna be okay. All right? We'll get you help.
>> "Simon": Hey -- hey, you run again, and we finish him off, okay? Try anything, and the old man dies. Enjoy each other's company, boys.
>> Joe: Rose. Get Rose.
>> Simon: We're gonna find her. We're gonna find her, I swear. We're gonna find Rose. We'll find Katie. We'll get out of here. I promise. Promise.

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July, 2002