EPISODE 7/04/06
Simon Wakes Up With Katie

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July, 2006


TUESDAY, JULY 04, 2006

Scene 1:
Location: Cruise Ship
Scene: Kasnoff's Cabin

MIKE KASNOFF, VIENNA HYATT, CAPTAIN DUNN

[ Knock at the door ]
>> Vienna: I fetched. I never fetch for anyone.
>> Mike: I'm honored.
>> Vienna: I figure we're in the same boat. I can't believe I said that, either. But we are. We're in the same boat. If only our partners were, too.
>> Mike: We're going to find Katie and Simon.
[ Knock at the door ] That's the captain, he said he has an update for me.
>> Captain: Morning, Mr. Kasnoff.
>> Mike: Good morning. Any news about my wife?
>>Captain: A total of four witnesses now report seeing a woman go overboard on the starboard side of the ship and a man go in after her
. >> Mike: Why didn't they say anything?
>> Captain: They did, just as fast as they could with a storm washing over the decks. And we began our search just as quickly.
>> Mike: But?
>> Captain: I'm sorry. It now appears your wife and your companion are lost at sea.


Scene 2:
Location: Cruise Ship
Scene: Kasnoff's Cabin

MIKE KASNOFF, VIENNA HYATT, CAPTAIN DUNN

>> Captain: The good news is one of the life preserver rings went missing at the same time as your wife. So it's likely Ms. Hyatt's companion went in after your wife.
>> Vienna: That's good news?
>> Mike: They had a way to survive.
>> Captain: We've -- based on the times of the report, we've narrowed the search area to this quadrant.
>> Vienna: It's so blue.
>> Mike: That's what color they make water on the map.
>> Vienna: I mean, it's all blue. There's no land nowhere in sight. How are we gonna find them in all that blue?


Scene 3:
Location: Island
Scene: Beach

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE KASNOFF

[ Simon coughing ]
>> Katie: Only you.
>> Simon: Yep.
>> Katie: Only you would use a disaster to try and hit on me!
>> Simon: Only you would take me for granted as a pillow.
>> Katie: Where are we?
>> Simon: Ashore.
>> Katie: Where?
>> Simon: I have no idea.
>> Katie: You did this, you know.
>> Simon: Yeah, I did this. You were the one who climbed up on that railing.
>> Katie: I didn't climb up on the railing. I was trying to get away from you.
>> Simon: Yeah, on a pitching boat in the middle of a storm. What? The thought of brushing me as you left the deck was so terrible?
>> Katie: Yes!
>> Simon: Oh, I'm sorry I make you so nervous.
>> Katie: Oh!
[ Katie scoff ] That's so -- Simon. You're a disaster.
>> Simon: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
>> Katie: Everything with you is a disaster.
>> Simon: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah. I'm such a natural disaster.
[ Both sigh ] Look, however we got here, we're here, okay? So why don't we just take a look around, see what we've got to work with and figure out a plan.
>> Katie: Fine. Ow!
>> Simon: You okay?
>> Katie: Ah!
>> Simon: Look, you've got a cramp. Just flex it out.
>> Katie: Oh, go flex yourself. I can flex my own foot. Let's just go try and find a way off this rock.
>> Simon: You really should give it a rest.
>> Katie: We didn't even make it halfway across the island.
>> Simon: The island's still going to be there once you're not a cripple.
>> Katie: Let's just make a signal for the rescue boats.
>> Simon: Good. That's a really good idea. We should do that. After you take a break.
[ Katie crying ] And have a good cry.
>> Katie: Poor Mike.
>> Simon: Yeah, poor Mike. Poor Mike's dry and sitting at the breakfast buffet.
>> Katie: He's probably worried sick about me. He probably jumped in after me.
>> Simon: Well, that'd be a stupid waste of time, wouldn't it? 'Cause I was the one who jumped in after you and saved you.
>> Katie: After you put me in danger. You don't get points for saving me after you put me in danger in the first place.
>> Simon: Ah, where are you going? Wait, wait.
>> Katie: I'm better off alone.
>> Simon: Listen. Come on. Just help me gather some firewood and then you can go off to some little bush and sulk to your heart's content. How's that sound? Good?
>> Katie: Argh!
>> Simon: Is that a yes?


Scene 4:
Location: Cruise Ship
Scene: Kasnoff's Cabin

MIKE KASNOFF, VIENNA HYATT

>> Mike: Any luck?
>> Vienna: Daddy said all the satellites are busy looking for bombs or spies. >> Mike: Tell me you did not just talk to someone with power to redirect satellites.
>> Vienna: My car got stolen once. Even without an alarm, he found it. But out here, it's way harder.
>> Mike: So we have to wait for the captain to organize things?
>> Vienna: Unless you have a better idea.
>> Mike: Yeah, I want to turn this boat around and go right back to where Katie went overboard.
>> Vienna: You should've kept your wife on a leash.
>> Mike: Don't.
>> Vienna: Simon shouldn't have been out on that deck. She must've lured him out there.
>> Mike: You know that's not true. If anybody's responsible for this, it's Simon. And if he has done anything to hurt her, he'll answer to me.


Scene 5:
Location: Island
Scene: Beach

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Katie: No, no, no, no, no --
>> Simon: What?
>> Katie: You go over there and start your fire. I'm starting my own over here.
>> Simon: What?
>> Katie: Two chances we'll be spotted.
>> Simon: Oh, that's completely dumb, one big fire stands a much better chance of being seen.
>> Katie: I'm not listening to ...
[missing some of the transcript here, due to the shuttle launch.]


Scene 6:
Location: Cruise Ship
Scene: Kasnoff's Cabin

MIKE KASNOFF, VIENNA HYATT, CAPTAIN DUNN

>> Mike: Go away, Vienna!
>> Captain: It's Captain Dunn.
>> Vienna: And Vienna.
>> Captain: This concerns her, too.
>> Vienna: They found something.
>> Captain: Recognize that clothing?
>> Mike: That's Katie's.


Scene 7:
Location: Island
Scene: Beach

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Simon: What do you think about cracked lobster for dinner, Katie? Sounds good, right? No need to suffer while we wait. Katie?
>> Katie: Come on, come on. Mama needs a fire. Oh, yes. Yes! Come on! Yes!
[ Wave covers Katie's fire. ]
>> Simon: Ah, water, fire, don't mix.
>> Katie: Bite me!
>> Simon: Is that an offer?
>> Katie: What do you think?
>> Simon: You don't want to know what I think. Look, would you just come over, please?
>> Katie: Simon, if you were my last way to the civilized world, I would rather be stranded alone!
[ Golfer appears to retreive the golf ball Simon has found. ]

Home
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July, 2006