EPISODE 1/16/03
Simon Ponders Citizenship
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Simonscript
January, 2003
THURSDAY, JANUARY 16, 2003
Scene 1:
Location: Java Coffee Shop building
Scene: Java Underground
SIMON FRASIER AND KATIE FRASIER
>> Simon: Here's to my beautiful wife.
>> Katie: Oh, and here's to watching every woman in this place go green
with envy because I'm with the hottest guy here.
>> Simon: Oh, stop it! No, keep going. So what time are Margo and Tom
getting here?
>> Katie: Oh, Tom just called my cell. They're gonna be a little late.
>> Simon: Late? Tom's never running late.
>> Katie: Well, it's my fault. Because I had him checking up on something
for me at the office.
>> Simon: What do you need a lawyer for?
>> Katie: I don't. Oh, look at that girl's jacket. It's so cute. I
wonder where she got it.
>> Simon: That's pathetic. What have you got Tom checking up on?
>> Katie: I'm just having him make a couple calls to Australia to see if he
can figure out how to help you get rid of those charges.
>> Simon: Without talking to me?
>> Katie: I knew you'd hate the idea. And I wanna just do it to make you
happy.
>> Simon: Babe, I am happy. I'm happy.
>> Katie: You don't look happy.
>> Simon: There. How's that?
>> Katie: Besides, you would do it for me.
>> Simon: What -- go behind your back, invade your privacy?
>> Katie: Ah, we're married. We don't have any privacy.
>> Simon: Yeah, obviously not.
>> Katie: Simon, you're making a big deal out of nothing. Either Tom can
help us out, and we get to go to Australia, or he can't, and we stay perfectly
happy right here.
>> Simon: Listen, honey, I don't care if I see or smell another bloody sheep
ever again. At this point in time, I don't intend to set on Australian
soil for the rest of my life.
Scene 2:
Location: Java Coffee Shop Building
Scene: Java Underground
SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, MARGO HUGHES, TOM HUGHES
>> Margo: Hi, hi, hi. Sorry we're late.
>> Simon: Hey, guys. How ya doin'?
>> Tom: I was just on the phone with Lien and her colleagues in D.C.
>> Simon: D.C., Washington -- right. Look, Tom, I'm very sorry that
Katie's got you involved in this, okay?
>> Margo: No, no, no. He's glad to do it.
>> Tom: I am glad to do it. It gave me an opportunity to catch up with my
beautiful daughter.
>> Katie: So, is Simon cleared?
>> Tom: Well, no, not exactly.
>> Margo: No, Tom kind of hit a brick wall.
>> Tom: Yeah, the Australian authorities were not impressed with any of my
arguments.
>> Margo: They're a bit reticent to have an American lawyer intercede on
Simon's behalf.
>> Simon: It's fine. Look, I'm sure that you did your best. Thanks,
anyway.
>> Margo: No, no. Don't you know? This family doesn't give up that easily.
>> Katie: Told you.
>> Tom: As a matter of fact, I thought about something on the way over
here.
>> Margo: And it's really brilliant.
>> Tom: Well, not brilliant, but -- effective.
>> Margo: So, Simon, how would you feel about going back to school?
Scene 3:
Location: Java Coffee Shop Building
Scene: Java Underground
SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, MARGO HUGHES, TOM HUGHES
>> Tom: So, technically, I can handle the case.
>> Simon: If I go back to school.
>> Katie: What kind of school?
>> Margo: The kind where they teach you the Pledge of Allegiance.
>> Tom: Yeah, for me to help you with these charges, Simon, you're going
to have to officially become an American citizen.
Scene 4:
Location: Java Coffee Shop Building
Scene: Java Underground
SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, MARGO HUGHES, TOM
HUGHES
>> Simon: So I have to become an American citizen?
>> Margo: Mm-hmm. We picked up that brochure and these applications on
our way over.
>> Tom: There'll be a few classes -- civics, history. Nothing too time-
consuming. And you don't have to decide right away.
>> Margo: Yeah, yeah. Take your time.
>> Katie: What's there to think about? Right, honey? This solves
everything.
>> Tom: Well, it doesn't solve everything. I mean, it's not gonna get rid of
those old charges. But if you have dual citizenship, then I will be able to
represent you.
>> Katie: And with Tom in your corner, those charges are as good as gone.
>> Margo: Yep. And so are we. Sorry, the babysitter we got for Daniel has
to take off early, so we gotta go.
>> Tom: So I will give you a call tomorrow, and you tell me what you
decide.
>> Simon: Sure. Look, thanks, Tom.
>> Margo: Don't go settin' off any fireworks yet. Because this is Simon's
call.
>> Katie: I know. It's completely up to him.
>> Margo: All right.
>> Katie: Thank you. Thank you so much, Tom.
>> Tom: You're welcome.
>> Katie: Okay, here's the plan. I'll fill out that application. On the way
home, we'll stop by the bookstore and get tons of books on American
History, which is one of my favorite subjects. And I'll tutor you every day,
whenever you want. I'll even make your lunch to go to school.
>> Simon: Honey, please? Slow down.
>> Katie: Why? The faster we do this, the faster you become an American
citizen. Simon, this is the opportunity we were looking for.
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January, 2003