EPISODE 1/2/01
Lily Finds Simon On The Train

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January, 2001


JANUARY 2, 2001

Scene 1:
Location: Burt's Garage

SIMON FRASIER AND MRS KATIE PERETTI FRASIER

>> Simon: Come on, Katie. Let's get moving or we'll miss the train. I have no intention of walking to Bay City. We're only going for three nights. What's all this?
>> Katie: Well, I couldn't decide what to wear, so I brought a selection. That way you can have your choice of what to see me in.
>> Simon: All right, all right. There and there -- I chose. Let's go.
>> Katie: Simon! Wait, wait, wait! What if one of those is the bag that has my lingerie in it? I'm telling you, Simon, you will never forgive yourself.
>> Simon: I'll live.

Scene 2:
Location: Train to Bay City, IL

MRS KATIE PERETTI FRASIER AND SIMON FRASIER

>> Katie: Where is your sense of adventure, Simon? We couldn't afford a nice tropical holiday, so the least we can do is pretend this train is something mysterious and exotic.
>> Simon: All right, that's it. I'm not lugging this stuff any further. We're sitting here.
>> Katie: Okay. Oh, this is so exciting! I feel like I'm on the Orient Express. I wish we could just spend our whole honeymoon sitting here, watching the world go by.
>> Simon: Yeah, I took a long train trip like that once.
>> Katie: Yeah? Where'd you go? Europe?
>> Simon: No. It was the Patagonian Express from Vancouver all the way down to the tip of Chile.
>> Katie: Wow.
>> Simon: I don't know about wow. I was so broke I had to ride in the open- air cattle car, wedged in between two heffers.
>> Katie: You're amazing.
>> Simon: Why -- 'cause I've spent half my life as a penniless wanderer?
>> Katie: No, 'cause you're an adventurer. Everything you do is an adventure.
>> Simon: Like this fake honeymoon? You know, I would hardly call that "adventure."
>> Katie: Well, I think it is.
>> Simon: Look, Katie, don't get too dazzled by adventure. You'll make the same mistake I did.
>> Katie: What do you mean?
>> Simon: I did so much traveling to try and find out what life was really about. When the whole time, everything you need to know is right here.
>> Katie: You say the sweetest things, even if they're not about me. I think I'm gonna take a little nap before it gets too rowdy in here, okay?

Scene 3:
Location: Train to Bay City, IL

MRS KATIE PERETTI FRASIER AND SIMON FRASIER

>> Conductor: This stop, Rochelle! Rochelle, Illinois! You may use all the doors!
>> Katie: I'm hungry. You know, I did think ahead, and I packed some snacks. But they're were in my bag, the one that you made me leave behind.
So the least you can do is make it up to me. >> Simon: And I'm sure you're going to tell me how.
>> Katie: Can you go to the club car and just get us a sandwich --
>> Simon: No! No. No, there's no way I'm going to fight my way through all those drunkards. Look, I don't think you're going to starve if you don't eat right this minute.
>> Katie: Simon, it's our honeymoon!
>> Simon: It's a -- it's a pretend, fake honeymoon, Katie. Look, we don't have much farther to go. Please, can't you wait until we get to the motel?
>> Katie: Fine, but if I'm going to starve, I'm going to starve while I'm sleeping. I'm going back to sleep.
[A disguised Lily slips into the seat across from Simon and gets his attention]

Scene 4:
Location: Train to Bay City

MRS KATIE PERETTI FRASIER, SIMON FRASIER AND LILY SNYDER

[Simon wakes Katie up]
>> Katie: Are we there?
>> Simon: No. Did the announcement wake you up?
>> Katie: What announcement?
>> Simon: The announcement. They're giving away free champagne in the dining car. I thought you were thirsty.
>> Katie: Yeah, champagne doesn't exactly qualify as a thirst quencher.
>> Simon: Look, it's better than nothing. And it's free. Go on. Go and get some.
>> Katie: Okay. I guess you're right.
>> Simon: Here, here, here. Oh, you know what? I'm pretty hungry after all. Can you -- can you please grab me a sandwich while you're up there? >> Katie: Oh, that's just great. We can only eat when you're hungry? All right, fine. What do you want?
>> Simon: Liverwurst. And if they don't have that, head cheese. And if they don't have that, just the -- the regulars -- ham, turkey, whatever. And can you get them to make it fresh? I don't like those plastic-wrapped deals.
>> Katie: This is a train, not a gourmet shop. I don't even know how I'm going to get back through all these people with all that stuff in my hand.
> >> Simon: Don't worry. It'll be fine. Just, just, if you're not back soon I'll come and get you. All right? Just stay put, and I'll come looking for you. Go on. Go.
>> Katie: Great.
>> Simon: Thanks.
[Katie leaves]

SIMON FRASIER AND LILY SNYDER

>> Simon: What are you doing here?
>> Lily: I heard the man of my dreams was going on a train, so?
>> Simon: How did you --
>> Lily: You said we had to be extra careful. So crashing your honeymoon and being miles away from Agent Halliwell, isn't that being extra careful?
>> Simon: You do not know what this means to me.
>> Lily: Are you going to tell me?
>> Simon: Come here. Come here.


Scene 5:
Location: Train to Bay City

LILY SNYDER AND SIMON FRASIER

>> Lily: I just had to come. Two years is just too long to wait for something that I want so badly. So I've made a decision.
>> Simon: To do what?
>> Lily: To follow you anywhere so I've made a decision.
>> Simon: To do what?
>> Lily: To follow you anywhere you go. I'll meet you in motel rooms. I'll catch glimpses of you across darkened movie theaters or across the aisles of speeding train. I'm ready to create any life that we could have together. Are you?
>> Simon: Me? I am ready. I am so ready. I thought this honeymoon was going to be torture. But now that you're here, nothing else matters.
>> Conductor: This stop Dekalb! Please use the last three cars only!
>> Lily: Oh Katie, she is going to freak out when she finds out that I'm here.
>> Simon: Shh, shh! Don't worry about Katie.
>> Lily: Simon?
>> Simon: What?
>> Lily: There's nobody here. Where'd everybody go?
>> Simon: They probably went out to celebrate in the dining car. Maybe they really are giving out free champagne.
>> Lily: Do you think they will be gone for a long time?
>> Simon: I think that's exactly what it means.
>> Lily: I've waited for this for so long. I just -- it's been too long.
>> Simon: I know. I know.

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January, 2001