For weeks following their first night together they continued on the island as if they were the best of friends as well as lovers. They had begun to build another raft and meticulously studied the weather, wave cycles and riptides around the island. They knew that their timing had to be perfect if they were to survive a voyage out into the ocean. Simon was amazing. He knew so much about the world and surviving in it...no matter what hand the "fates" dealt him. And he knew about life...real life....and during the months since they first met he had taught her not only how to survive, but how to live. She smiled as she watched him study the riptides and scribble notes on an old pad of paper he had found in Cooley's hut. No matter how their relationship had begun, there was no doubt in her mind that Simon had helped her become stronger, wiser, and braver.....because he loved her. He loved her unlike her own husband did, and the way she needed to be loved. He loved her not only for who she was, but also for the person she had become. And she loved him back. She didn't want to love him and fought hard against those feelings, but almost inspite of herself, she loved him. How could she not.....

Guilt had tormented her at first. She missed her children so much that a void had formed in her soul, and she was, afterall, still Mrs. Snyder. She loved Holden....like she always had and always would...but if there was one thing she had learned in the crazy and wonderful life she had led, it was that sometimes, just sometimes, love wasn't enough. And sometimes, love changed...just as people did. Not that love ended...no...never....but it changed, transformed, moved on. She wasn't the same woman who married Holden, and he wasn't who she believed him to be. Perhaps she expected too much of him, but was it really too much to expect him to recognize a stranger in his house...in his bed??

She often wondered if she and Holden would ever find each other again...if they could. So much had happened that the hope of ever "going back" to what they once had seemed impossible. But she wasn't even sure if she wanted to "go back." Perhaps the only road available was the one that went "forward." Forward to what though? Holden wasn't even looking for her but was instead playing house with a showgirl! Oh, how the thought of Rose and Holden together pained her! It pained her more than she could bear! But Simon was right...she had to focus on the bright side of things....she was still alive, she had two beautiful children to return to...there was always hope....and there was Simon.

Simon. The thought of him and what he meant to her made her smile. Who would've guessed that a lying con artist who manipulated his way into her life would turn out to be one of the greatest loves of her life? Perhaps THE love of her life...... "You know," Simon said as he approached her. "I think that those riptides aren't so bad during certain times of the month." He smiled and kissed her briefly on the cheek. "With any luck and a little planning, maybe we can head out on our raft when those riptides aren't so dangerous." "Wouldn't it be too risky anyway?" she asked. "This is our lives we're gambling with, you know." "I know," he replied. "But I'd never do anything to jeopardize your safety, Lily. You know that. It's just that right now, getting on that raft we've built seems to be the only chance we have of getting off of this rock." He dropped the pad of paper on the sand next to him and went towards Lily. "Hey," he whispered. "What's wrong?" "Nothing," she answered abruptly. "What makes you think somethingšs wrong?" "Because you get this funny look on your face whenever something's bothering you," he said with a smile. "I know you're afraid of getting on that raft, Lily..." "It's not that," she interrupted. "Then what? Tell me...."

"I really miss my children..." She turned away from him just as her eyes began to fill with tears. "I know you do. That's why I've been working really hard to get you back home. You don't think it hurts me to see you hurt for them...to be with them??" "And Holden..." It was the first time she had brought up his name in weeks. Simon quickly turned away and began to walk up the path towards their cave. "Simon," Lily said as she followed him. "We have to talk about Holden." "Why?" he asked with discomfort. "I'm no fool, Lily. I know he's your husband and I know that once we get off of this island you'll go back to him, to your children, and to the life you had before I came into the picture. But I really don't want to talk about it....I can't." He sat down on a large rock just outside the cave entrance and buried his face in his hands. Lily could sense his discomfort and it upset her. She knelt in front of him and took hold of one of his hands. "Can't you just allow me to cherish the time I have with you, Lily?" he asked as he looked up at her. "I'll always work to get you back home, but until then, can't I pretend you don't belong to anyone but me...." "Isn't that what we've been doing?" She smiled and kissed his fingers. "You don't have to worry, you know...." "About what?" "About me telling anyone what has happened here between us."

"Oh, Simon," she began, "I never thought you'd..." "No one will know," he interrupted. "Not Holden, not anyone...I promise." She leaned towards him and kissed him sweetly on his lips. "I do love you, Simon. I do." Resting her forehead on his and with her eyes barely closed, she whispered, "I can't imagine what my life would be like without you, Simon. I don't want to...." "Once you see your children again and Holden.... you'll see things more clearly...." He pushed her gently away but held her hand tightly in his. "What do you mean 'more clearly'? Are you saying that I'm not thinking clearly now??" She searched his eyes for an answer, but he averted her glance. "Or are you telling me that your feelings...what we have... that it'll all end once we get off this island? How could you..." "That's not what I mean," Simon interrupted. "I'm just trying to..." He turned away from her abruptly and walked a few feet away. "Trying to what? What, Simon? I canšt believe that you're reducing our relationship to an island fling or something! I'm not that easy, Simon, and I'm not one to cheat on my husband...." "I know that, Lily!" he shouted. "I know that! Donšt you think I know that you love Holden...that your professed feelings for me are in large part due to the hurt you feel over Holden and Rose??!!"

"You don't believe that I love you..." she whimpered. "You don't believe me...." A weight began to settle in her chest, and she felt tears coming. "I want to believe you," he replied. "I need to." He walked towards her and placed his hands on her shoulders. Lily had her back to him, and tears trickled down her face. "Lily," he whispered. "I'm just trying to be realistic. How can I possibly compete with a man who shares a history with you, children, a life...." "I never asked you to compete...." "No...but that's what I'll have to do once we get off of this rock." He turned her towards him and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "It takes two..." "No, I donšt need any help in being selfish," he chuckled. "Being with you here, pretending you belong to me and with me.... I've never been so selfish...." He smiled at her. "But you don't believe that I love you..." He let go of her suddenly and walked away. "Simon," she called after him. "Why don't you believe me?" Agitated he yelled, "Because if I allow myself to believe you...only to eventually lose you to Holden....I don't think I can handle that, Lily! I can't stand the mere thought of it!" With his back to her he muttered, "It'll kill me..." Simon walked into their cave without another word. Lily remained where she was but dropped to her knees as tears continued to stream down her sunburned face. "Oh, Simon," she cried to herself. "I'm the one who's being selfish...me....not you."

They spent the rest of that day in silence. Lily continued with her island chores of collecting berries and mangoes, while Simon remained by the shore fishing. She couldn't bear the thought of confronting him again, especially since he seemed so angry. She hated his being angry with her, but part of her knew that everything he had said was true. Once they got off the island, if they ever did, she knew she'd go back to Holden to try and salvage their marriage and their family...if only for the children's sake. But he was wrong about one thing...he hadn't been selfish at all. Only she was the guilty one. When night came, Simon joined her in the cave but continued his silence. He prepared the fish he had caught without as much as one word to her and without once looking at her. The tension between them pierced her heart like a knife. "Simon," Lily said finally breaking the silence between them. "Please don't be angry." She approached him and started preparing the other fish that he had brought back with him. "I'm not angry with you," he whispered back. Still he refused to look at her. "Then why won't you talk to me...why are you ignoring me?" She lifted his chin so that he was forced to look at her. He opened his mouth as if he were about to say something, but then turned away.

"Simon?" "You're going to think I'm crazy," he began as he continued preparing the fish. "But I have this feeling... deep down inside...." "What feeling?" Again she forced him to look at her. "That it won't be long before I lose you...." "What are you talking about...." she smiled and tried to lighten the tension between them. "What...will an island cannibal suddenly appear and have me for lunch... what?" He didn't smile or laugh. "I don't know. I don't understand it myself, but I feel it...in my gut. I'm going to lose you soon....and it really frightens me." "Oh, so maybe the cannibal will eat 'you' for lunch," she teased still trying to make things right between them. Finally, he smiled. "Yeah, that must be it. Just don't let him roast me alive, okay?" "Simon," she said as she came nearer to him. "I'm right here...with you...and I'm not going anywhere."

Sleep was difficult for both of them during those warm Spring nights. Lily would frequently awake before dawn and find Simon missing from her side. It became somewhat of a habit for him to sit outside the cave by himself and get lost in his own thoughts. That morning was no different. She awoke from a disturbing dream and called out for Simon, but he wasn't lying next to her. "Simon," Lily cried as she looked around the cave. Sitting up she called out louder, "Simon!" "Hey, hey," he said as he entered the cave. "I'm right here." He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "Another bad dream?" "Uh-hmm..." "Want to tell me about it?" He kissed the top of her head and continued to hold her. "No, not really," she whispered. "What were you doing out there?" "Just thinking...." "About what?" She pulled away and attempted a smile. "What's been keeping you up nights, Simon?" "It's really not important." He smiled back at her. "But if you must know," he continued, "it's Celia." "Celia..." "Yes, my wonderful sister!" He chuckled and then rubbed his eyes. "My wonderful sister who left us here for dead...." "She hasn't succeeded in killing us, Simon," she said, "and she won't. We'll survive...we'll get through this together..."

"She was right, you know." He stood and walked to the other side of the cave. "Everything she told you about me was true. I've been a drifter all my life, took what I could and gave as little back as I could get away with .... and I really didn't care much about who I hurt or let down in the process...." "You don't have to tell me all of this, Simon..." "Yes, I do," he said. "I want to." He kneeled in front of her. "There were lots of women, too, Lily...none of whom meant anything to me. It was like I was dead inside...numb...and I went through the motions of life like a zombie....never really feeling anything...never really being alive..." "You're not that person anymore, Simon," she interrupted. "You're not...." "Thanks to you," He said as he stroked the side of her face. "You know, I can't even blame anyone for who I became. I did it all myself......"

She sat quietly next to him holding his hand. It was the first time Simon disclosed anything about his past, so she listened. It seemed important to him that she heard everything he had to say. "My mother died when I was very young," he began. "Celia was about six years old and I was almost four." "I'm sorry," Lily sighed. "It must've been horrible." "It was," he continued. "But I was so young that I don't remember much of what happened. All I remember is that one day mum got very sick....cancer....and she was gone just like that." He lay down on their mat and pulled her to him so that her head rested on his chest. "Dad was devastated. He did the only thing he knew to do, which was to send Celia and me to his sister...our Aunt Katie." "Your aunt raised you?" She looked up at him. "Yeah, and she did a pretty good job considering she had children of her own to look after. She loved us like we were her own." "But...??" "But there was never enough money for us all," he said. "So it was always a constant struggle. Dad sent money and visited regularly whenever he got time off from the fields, but as far back as I can remember, it was always a challenge to make ends meet." "Was your Aunt Katie married?" "Widowed...also very early on in her marriage," he whispered. "Left her with 3 children to raise...plus Celia and me after mum died. But how Celia resented her so! I never understood why, but I think she resented Aunt Katie for trying to replace our own mum."

He tightened his arms around her and took a deep breath. "Celia just didn't understand that times were hard and everyone was just doing the best they could. She got angrier and angrier as the years went by. She was mad at dad for not being around more, mad at mum for dying on us, mad at Aunt Katie for not being our mum, mad at me for always following her around and hassling her like typical kid brothers do...." "Were you close to your dad or your Aunt Katie?" She asked as she brushed his bangs away from his forehead. His hair had gotten long since they washed up on the island, so much so that Simon resembled a disheveled sheep dog of sorts, but she loved the way it made him look even sexier. She loved him. "Dad, no...not really. He was hardly around, and when he was, he was distant and aloof. I don't think he ever got over mum's death." He closed his eyes and rested his head on hers. "But Aunt Katie, yes, a little...but there was always competition for her attention and affections. She had her own children, and they didn't care much for Celia or me. I think they resented how much Aunt Katie loved us and cared for us. I was the youngest in the household, so of course when Celia wasn't picking on me, my cousins did!" He laughed at the memories. "I don't think that's funny," Lily said. "It must've been awful for you." "You get used to it, get tougher, grow an alligator skin as they say....or get numb...." "Oh, Simon," she whispered, "I'm so sorry...."

"For what?" He lifted her face and looked her in the eyes. "My Aunt Katie always made me feel loved, despite all the fighting we kids did in her home and all the money troubles we had. Yeah, I wished I had my dad around more, but he had to work to support us...work, work, work...he worked until he died." "How old were you when he died?" "Almost seventeen," Simon answered. "He worked way too hard, and I was convinced that he died sooner than he should've because he worked all the time. His death was a shock to me, and I became determined never to become like him...to end up like him." The sun began to rise and sounds of chirping birds could be heard from inside the cave. They stayed in each other's arms, idle, but wide awake.

"I swore that I wouldn't spend my entire life slaving away at a job for pennies...and at a job that would only kill me in the end," Simon continued. "So when I learned about that diamond, I thought I'd found the answer to all my problems. I'd save everybody...I'd save myself from ending up like my dad...my Aunt Katie from her never-ending financial problems...and my family's land and good name." He chuckled softly, sat up and stretched. "Talk about a messiah complex, eh, Lily? I thought that with that diamond I was going to save everybody! And wouldn't it just be great if the youngest in the family, me, who everyone used to beat up on, was the one to save everybody...." "You felt like you had to prove something, Simon," Lily said. "Prove something to your family, to yourself..." "But what've I managed to prove? That I'm a complete failure and idiot...and that I allowed my nutcase of a sister to steal the diamond and use it only for her own greed and lust?" "No," Lily whispered. She walked towards him and held his face in both her hands. "You proved that you're at least as decent a man as your father was, but a better one...a stronger one. You proved to be more of a survivor than Celia...more compassionate and understanding than she or your cousins." He smiled at her...and the way he looked at her as she spoke sent chills down her spine and made her weak at the knees. There was so much love in his eyes, so much passion....and it consumed her. "Thank you," he said softly. "For what?" she asked, her voice trembling. "For showing me what life's really about, what's really important..." He leaned closer to kiss her. ".... for saving me." "We saved each other, Simon," she whispered back. "We saved each other...."