They agreed to meet in a park just outside town and near Simon's apartment. Lily felt both excited and worried about seeing Simon - excited because she wanted to hear more about what he had learned about Beloved and because she missed him - and worried because she missed him. Being near Simon was dangerous for her. She was no longer certain if she could continue fighting her feelings for him, and despite all her resolve, she found herself wanting to be with Simon, to talk to him, to curl up in his arms, to make love to him. She hated admitting it, but she had grown accustomed to being with Simon almost every minute of the day while they were stranded on the island. She grew to love his company, admire his competence and skills, appreciate and depend on his kindness...crave his touch. She had come to need him like she needed air to breathe. Dangerous.

Her outing with Holden the other day went surprisingly well, though. They reminisced about old times, went skinny dipping even, and she relished gazing into his eyes all afternoon long. Holden was still one of the most handsome men she had ever known. He was a great father and a good husband.....so what was wrong with her? Was the "real" Lily....the Lily who had blossomed during her ordeal with the Frasiers and on the island....a selfish and foolish woman who did't appreciate a blessed life? Was this new and allegedly improved Lily....the new her....the real her....willing to give up a wonderful husband and hurt her children for a man who lied his way into her life, saved it....and touched her soul....

"Hi, Lily," Simon said with a smile as he approached her. She was sitting on a park bench, lost in her own self-analysis, all the while mustering up every bit of strength she had just to remain in control. She could not and would not allow herself to lose control.

"Hey," she replied. "You're late." He was only a minute or two late, but Lily didn't know how else to begin their conversation. "I can handle this," she thought to herself. "I won't let him sweep me into a whirlwind of emotions..."

But as she peered into his eyes, eyes that saw right through to her core, she felt her strength and resolve slowly leave her. "Too late," she again thought to herself. "Swept away in exactly 10 seconds....."

"Are you okay?" Simon asked. "You look a little frazzled." He sat down next to her and reached for her hand. "I miss you...."

"Simon, please don't," she began. "We both know that I have to go home to my children....and to my husband. I'm here to learn more about Beloved...that's all." Her voice began to shake as did her hands.

"I know, and I won't try to stop you....or change your mind."

"You won't?" She sounded disappointed but quickly caught herself. "You won't talk about 'us' and just keep our conversation focused on Beloved..."

"Yeah, sure," Simon replied. "But I do miss you...."

"I miss you too," she whispered back. "But it's irrelevant...." Her words seemed to hurt him and immediately she regretted saying what she did. "I'm sorry, Simon. I didn't mean it the way it sounded."

"I find it very hard to understand why and how you can think of our feelings for one another as being 'irrelevant.'" There was anger in his voice, frustration....but mostly he sounded hurt. "My love for you is in no way nor will it ever be irrelevant to my life or to yours or to those around us..."

"Simon, please..." Lily implored, as she felt all composure begin to leave her. "I didn't mean it that way...."

"I miss you so much, Lily, that it's killing me," Simon continued. Whatever 'control' he maintained when he first arrived seemed to have disappeared as well. He took her face in both his hands and turned her towards him - forcing her to look him in the eyes. "I think about you every waking moment, dream about you, and long everyday to see you, to talk to you....to touch you...."

"Simon, stop....please!" She broke free from his grasp and walked away from the bench. The park was empty, except for the many pigeons who claimed the area as their home. "You said you wouldn't talk about us...you said..."

"I lied," Simon interrupted. "I lied to myself when I thought I could let you go, when I told you that I could leave and return home to Australia, when I told you that there was no other way except that you choose between Holden and me...."

"What?" Her eyes welled up with tears as she turned to look at him.

"I just want to be near you, Lily," he said. "I don't care if we have to meet privately in parks outside of town, whisper during phone calls...."

"I thought you said that you didn't want to sneak behind people's backs? You said...."

"I know what I said....but I was wrong." He approached her and once again held her face in his hands. Lily felt her heart beat faster as she allowed herself to remain close to him...to his touch...

"I'm not talking about having an affair, Lily," Simon continued. "I'm talking about just being able to see you, talk with you...."

"As friends?"

"Yeah....whatever....just as long as I can be near you." He had tears in his eyes. "I'm going nuts, Lily! I can't stand being apart from you...I can't...."

Unable to resist her desire any longer, Lily wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. "Oh, Simon," she sighed into his ear.

"I love you," he whispered as he buried his face into her hair. "I love you... please don't shut me out of your life.....please...."

She pushed away from him a little to look at him, but he tightened his hold around her waist and rested his forehead on hers.

"Oh, Simon," she cried. "I don't think I could shut you out of my heart no matter how hard I tried." It was a confession that broke her heart in two and freed her at the same time. "I don't know what to do anymore, I just don't! I owe it to my children and to Holden to do everything to make my marriage work...."

"I know, I know," Simon replied. "And I'm sorry I pushed you so hard before....." He stroked her hair.

"But I can't break free from you....I don't want to....I..."

"Shhhh," he whispered as he laid a finger across her lips. "You don't have to say anything right now. You don't have to fix everything at this moment, nor do you have to make any choices."

Succumbing to tears, Lily allowed herself to fold into Simon's arms and to let his love...their love....wash over her and completely engulf her. "It's not fair for you," she said finally. "It's not fair for you to hang around and just wait.... especially since I can't guarantee that....."

"That's my decision, isn't it?" Simon interjected. He smiled at her and stroked one side of her face.

"You deserve better...."

"I want you," Simon whispered. "And right now if all I can have is the promise of you....of a future with you...then that's enough." A tear rolled down his cheek. "I understand that you have to do what you feel is right...that you have to put your children first....that your marriage vows are sacred to you.... I understand, Lily. I do. And I love you for your dedication and your commitment - for your integrity and courage. But it's those very same qualities that make me feel certain that you will ultimately be true to your heart and to yourself...and that you'll find your way back to me."

His words pierced her soul. "Simon....I...."

"So," he interrupted. "Do you want to hear about Beloved or not?"

He continued to hold her close as he spoke, whispering in her ear all the news that he had received from his cousin Natalie, and assured her that everything was going to be okay. He made it all okay just by holding her close...and it felt right. Being in his arms was as natural and as right as was dancing with him in their cave on their island. Strange as it was, she now thought of that island fondly and remembered only the love that had been born there and not any of the ugliness that surrounded the ordeal.

As she and Simon walked and talked in the park for hours - hours that seemed only like minutes - she knew. She knew in the deepest part of her soul that nothing short of a miracle could possibly save her marriage.

"I'll call you soon," she said as she got into her car. She felt alive again.

"I'll be waiting...."

And Lily watched as he crossed the street and turned the corner towards his apartment...

The trip out to Lucy Hogan's home was uneventful. Natalie completed the drive in record time and hardly noticed the miles she was traveling away from her London apartment. She could hardly wait to get her hands on her great grandmother's diaries and box of letters. Her interest in all of this ran much deeper than Simon's, of course. Yes, she was fascinated by the tragic story of Simon Sr. and his beloved Miss Goddard, but Natalie was more interested in learning about her great grandparents David and Alexis Mercutio. The diary should provide her with lots of insight into her family, particularly she hoped, of her own grandparents whom she knew only through the memories of her mother and father.

When she arrived at the Hogan's countryside home she was pleasantly surprised at how comfortable they all were with each other. It was as if they hadn't been strangers and were meeting for the first time. It felt more like a family reunion, Natalie thought. And when Lucy Hogan finally brought out the keepsake box that had belonged to her great Aunt Alexis, Natalie was almost bursting with anticipation. Lucy had inherited the box and its contents from her mother, she told Natalie, but was unsure exactly why some of Alexis' belongings ended up with her family. Natalie didn't care. She just wanted to rummage through everything without any distractions and interruptions. Lucy was kind enough to lead her to a small den where she could sort through the contents of Alexis' treasure box in private. She wasn't disappointed.

Thumbing through one of her great grandmother's diaries, Natalie learned how passionate her great grandmum was about life, her husband and her children. Great grandmum Alexis was very poetic in her writing, an indication, Natalie thought, of her education and high social class. But there was no false pride or snobbishness reflected in her journals. Rather, Alexis seemed to possess much compassion for others and easily befriended individuals from various sociocultural backgrounds.

"She was an incredible woman," Natalie thought to herself as she laid aside the diary she had just been reading. Suddenly she thought of her own father. "He was a very compassionate person, too," she sighed, "....just like my great grandmum..."

Smiling at the recollection of some precious moments with her father, Natalie then refocused her attention to the other contents in the treasure box. Some old letters were bound by a rubberband...not many....but they were carefully held together and preserved. The envelopes were yellowing with age and appeared brittle and oh so fragile to the touch, but Natalie carefully sorted through the letters - delicately handling each one so not to damage it. Most of the letters were love letters from her great grandfather David to Alexis, several were from Alexis' sister, but two were from a Miss Goddard. Natalie, barely able to contain herself, began to read one of them.

Your most grateful friend......."

"Oh, how sad!" Natalie whispered. "What a dose of depression that letter was! And I thought such tragedies only happened in classic literature....like in Shakespeare or Hemingway or something...."

Taking a deep breath, she then went on to read the second and last letter........