Still standing in line at the library waiting for a computer terminal to open up, Simon decided to abandon his attempt to do more research. Besides, Natalie was following up on several leads - and since she was in England she perhaps had a better chance than he at digging up more information on the Goddard family. And why did he care so much anyway? He needed to concentrate on Lily, and not on some woman who'd been dead for years and years, and who no longer was of any importance to him!

"Remember, Luc....no running in the library!" Her voice caused Simon to spin around quickly. "And try not to talk while the librarian is reading the story, okay honey?"

"Okay, mommy," Luc replied before disappearing into the children's area for storytime. Lily smiled as her son found a place on the carpet and began to listen intently to the librarian reading "Curious George Goes to the Beach." Carrying faith in her arms, Lily turned and headed towards the section where the New York Times Best-selling books were shelved. She immediately found herself facing Simon.

"What are you doing here?" she stuttered when she finally found her voice.

"I was hoping to do more research on my family," Simon replied as he stared at her. It had been a couple of weeks since their meeting in the Lakeview restaurant, and he missed her terribly.

"Did you find another diamond to track down?" Lily asked with a smile. She meant it as a joke, but Simon didn't laugh. "I'm sorry....bad humor."

"I miss you," Simon whispered. He fought hard against the temptation to pull her towards him, to wrap his arms around her and kiss her. The fact that she was wearing the same faded bluejeans, buttoned plaid shirt, and had her hair tied back with the same blue bandanna as the first moment he fell in love with her made it even harder for him to resist taking her in his arms.

"H....how've you been?" she stuttered. "Still working at the same garage? I heard that you checked out of the Lakeview...."

"Simum..." the little blond girl said. "Hi, Simum...."

"Hey there, honey," Simon whispered as he took Faith's hand. He noticed Lily become tense, though, so he immediately refocused his attention away from Faith. "How're you and Holden doing?" He felt his heart begin to break as he finished his question.

"Oh, as well as could be expected," Lily began. "We're taking things slowly, working on falling in love with each other again. We'll be going on a picnic later this afternoon actually....after the kids and I finish here at the library."

She looked away from him and pulled Faith closer to her chest. Simon, with a lump having formed in his throat, was speechless at first. He nodded and tried to smile, but failed. He quickly changed the subject.....

"I found out from a long lost cousin last night that Beloved's family name was Goddard," he said finally breaking the tense silence between them. His voice was shaking and all he really wanted to do was get out of the library and get away from Lily before she said something else about Holden. He didn't understand how or why she was being so cruel. She had to know that any mention of Holden and their marriage could potentially kill him.

"What? Goddard?" She sounded genuinely interested. "How'd you find that out?"

"I told you," he replied. "A long lost cousin of mine did some snooping and found out that Beloved had been shipped off to England. She became good friends with the wife of the man who helped kidnap her from her home....my great grandfather's cousin."

"Goddard," Lily whispered. "I wonder how she became related to me and my family..." She looked up at Simon. "She has to be related to my family somehow, Simon. Her resemblance to me....and Rose...is just incredible."

"Yeah, well.....I haven't figured that out yet. That's why I was hoping to use a computer here this afternoon to do more research. And my cousin Natalie in England is following up on some leads. I'll let you know if we find out anything else....if you want me to, that is...." He smiled at Faith who was trying to get his attention.

"Of course I do," she answered. Silence once again filled the space between them, and it was more than Simon could bear.

"Well I better go," he said as he looked at the exit. "I have to be at work soon....more cars to fix and all....."

"Okay, then...." She began to walk passed him. "You'll let me know if you learn anything more about Beloved?"

"Of course."

"Bye-bye, Simum," Faith called out.

"Bye, honey," he said with a smile. "You take care of your mommy, okay?" He turned and began to walk towards the library exit.

"Simon?" Lily called after him. Surprised, he stopped and glanced back at her. "I'm glad you're here in Oakdale. It's hard....but....I'm glad you're here."

She dropped the stack of books that she had checked out from the library on the coffee table as soon as she arrived home. Luc ran into the kitchen and headed for the plate of cookies they had left to cool on the counter earlier that morning. Faith was fast asleep in her stroller. She looked so peaceful sleeping that Lily decided not to move her to her playpen but to simply leave her where she was napping. Lily smiled as she peered at her young daughter. Oh, how she adored her children! There was nothing she wouldnąt do for them, to protect them, to make them happy.....

Running into Simon earlier that day had thrown her. She had been fairly successful at controlling her emotions these past weeks, but just a short random moment in his presence knocked her off balance and completely destroyed the barrier she had so painstakingly built between them. Why did he have to remain in Oakdale?! Things would've been so much easier had he returned to Australia! If he had, she'd be able to focus on Holden and their marriage without distractions. Now, instead, she was forced to struggle against her feelings for Simon - all consuming feelings that she herself didn't understand - and didn't want to understand. Somehow, some way, Simon had settled into her heart...and her soul....he had become part of her. She had always believed that only she and Holden were part of each other, but she was wrong.

Simon was there....in Oakdale, so that she'd bump into him at every turn.... in her life, that he had saved more than once.... in her mind, where the memory of his smile, his voice, and his declarations of love and loyalty to her would continually remind her of the way he made her feel..... in her heart, which he owned. He was there......

"No," she said aloud. "No, I can't do this! I can't allow this!" She stomped into the kitchen fuming with anger at herself for allowing her thoughts to dwell on Simon. She had to forget him. She loved Holden, after all - it had always been Holden who filled her heart ever since they were teenagers - and it would always be Holden.

"The cookies are good, mommy," Luc said from the dining table. He was on his third cookie and had managed to pour himself a glass of milk.

"Yeah?" She took a bite out of the one Luc had in his hand.

"Hey...." he giggled. "That was my cookie...."

Lily quickly ushered her young son to his room and told him to take a nap. Luc protested at first, but agreed to lie in bed with one of the books he had just checked out at the library. He fell fast asleep by the time he got to the middle of "Where's Waldo."

Lily then began to pack a picnic basket for her outing with Holden later that day. They needed this time together...quality time at the Snyder pond, the place where they had spent so much of their youth and where they first fell in love.... so why wasn't she looking forward to it? Why did part of her dread being alone with her husband?

"It's hard for me to believe that anyone with as much courage as you would be afraid of anything...." Simon's words to her in the hotel room echoed through her mind. Simon's voice again....Simon.....

"But I am afraid," Lily thought to herself. "I'm afraid that Holden's company, his touch .... will leave me feeling empty...."

The sound of the doorbell brought her back to her reality - to her perfect life in Oakdale with her beautiful children and wonderful husband - and she felt dead inside.

"Coming," Lily said as she ran to the door. She forced a smile as she greeted her baby-sitter.

"Hey, Frasier," the manager yelled out from the office. "I have another job for you once you get done with that old Buick."

"Yeah, yeah," Simon replied from under the hood of the car. "Give me another 10 minutes and this old baby will be running like new."

Working was supposed to help keep his mind off of Lily. But it didn't. Earlier that morning he had been changing the spark plugs on a truck - one that reminded him of the one he stole in order to follow Celia who had abducted Lily. Then, he worked on an engine that was missing a part - and he remembered the old phone they found in Cooley's hut that would've worked had it not been missing the diode. Now, as he was finishing up the Buick, he stared at his grease covered hands and recalled how Lily threw her arms around him that one afternoon in his Lakeview hotel room, not caring one bit about the oil stains she would never get out of her clothes. Everything and everywhere reminded him of Lily and their time together. It was driving him nuts.

"Hey, Frasier," the manager called out again.

"I said I'd be done in a few!" Simon answered abruptly. "Just hold on to your horses...."

"Phone call for you, Fray..." the manager was a short man, stalky, and was covered with grease almost as much as Simon was.

Simon searched for a rag on which to wipe his oil covered hands. As he did so he remembered how he and Lily used to want for even the most ordinary things on the island...even something as simple as a napkin.

"You're pathetic, Frasier," he mumbled to himself as he again tried to stop thinking about Lily. "Absolutely pathetic!" Having wiped his hands on a dirty rag, he then picked up the phone. "Hello....Simon Frasier..."

"Simon! Simon!" Natalie squealed. "I'm so glad I found you. Wait 'til you hear what I've accomplished...who I found...it's absolutely remarkable and I'm so excited that I can hardly control myself and I'm actually on my way to meet her now but it'll take a day for me to get out there so I thought I'd call you first to let you know what I'll be doing so you'll know and it might be awhile before I can get in touch with you again....."

"NATALIE...." Simon interjected. "Slow down! I can't understand anything you're saying!" It was only the second time he had spoken to this cousin of his, but already he liked her. He didn't really know much about Natalie Mercutio, except that she was a little younger than he was, worked as a paralegal in a lawyer's office and researched laws and cases for a group of "stuffy old men" as Natalie herself described them, was dating a psychiatrist, and was more skilled at snooping and getting information than Simon ever was.

"I found someone," Natalie continued, no calmer. "I did some research on my great grandmother Alexis' family in England..and you wouldnąt believe how many people there are in this country...but perseverance paid off, cousin, it certainly did! I found someone and I contacted her...him...them...and they were nice as can be and like I said I'm on my way over there now and once I get there I'll let you know what I find and I'll make copies of everything and send it to you straight away so you have to give me your address but you probably won't get anything until next week or I might not find anything at all worth sharing with you but we'll never know unless I try..."

"Breathe, Natalie," Simon chuckled. "Please breathe...for both our sakes...slow down, start at the beginning, and try to breathe in between sentences....'kay?"

"Sorry," she replied finally taking a breath. "I'm really excited...."

"No? I couldn't tell...." Simon laughed and then took a breath himself. "So what's all this?"

"I found one of Alexis' nieces...you remember, my great grandmother and Beloved's, I mean Ms. Goddard's good friend. I found her niece....grand niece or something....Lucy Hogan." Simon didn't know what to say.

"She lives in the countryside with her husband....near their grandchildren. She was glad to meet me and was willing to help with our research, but she's in her eighties and is too old to travel out to London to see me. So I said I'd go to her....."

"How's meeting one of your great grandmother Alexis' family members going to help us?" Simon asked.

"Simon....she said she has her great Aunt's diaries." Natalie began to get excited again. "She has my great grandmother Alexis' diaries....and some old letters she kept in a box! Lucy thinks that there are a few written by a friend of hers...a young woman who was heartbroken...oh, Simon...they could be letters from Beloved, from Miss Goddard...to my great grandmother....can you imagine... letters from Beloved!!!"

"Wow." Simon was stunned. "If she did write some of these letters, we could..."

"...learn more about her identity, her life...." Natalie interrupted, ".... and maybe some secrets she could only disclose to a dear and trusted friend like my great grandmother!"

"Wow," Simon repeated. "Excellent work, cousin...."

"I have to pack now, but I'll call you as soon as I get to Lucy's and rummage through great grandma Alexis' diary and letters, 'kay?"

"All right....be careful."

"I will," Natalie replied. "Bye..."

Simon put the phone back on the receiver and walked towards the Buick he was finishing up. He was in a daze and didn't know what to think of Natalie's news. But he couldn't wait to tell Lily.......