EPISODE 2/5/03
Simon Learns About Another Aussie

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February, 2003


WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 2003

Scene 1:
Location: Frasier Cottage
Scene: Living Room

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER

>> Katie: And then we'll cuddle up.
>> Simon: And I'll be asleep in four seconds.
>> Katie: Which I will totally understand, because running a sheep farm is hard work.
>> Simon: Dirty too, filthy. You know durning winter you will be picking the mud out of our teeth, its discusting.
>> Katie: We'll manage. In summertime, I was thinking, we can get a little cottage on the ocean and on the weekends the three of us...
>> Simon: Weekends. There's no such thing as weekends. During the shearing season, you work twenty four seven.
>> Katie: Why are you being so negative?
>> Simon: I'm not being negative honey. I'm just being honest. Running a sheep farm is no picnic. Well why should I be so surprised at your enthusiasm, your're the girl who was smiling when you were about to give away part of your liver.
[ Knock at the door. ]
>> Simon: Who could... I'll get it. It's Lily and Holden.
>> Katie: What?
[ Simon opens the door to LILY AND HOLDEN SNYDER. ]
>> Simon: Guys, come on in.
>> Lily: Simon, nice to see you.
>> Simon: How are you doing?
>> Lily: I'm good.
>> Katie: Hi.
>> Lily: Sorry to come by so late, but there is something we thought you should know.
>> Katie: Why, is something wrong?
>> Holden: It's probably nothing, but we thought we should give you a heads up.
>> Lily: Holden and I were visiting Aaron at Burt's Garage and we were leaving. Holden went to get the car and this guy came out of nowhere, said he was looking for you.
>> Simon: For me?
>> Lily: Yes, I told him you didn't work there anymore, but something about him was very unsettling.
>> Simon: Why? What'd he say?
>> Lily: He said he wanted to congratulate you on your wedding and he said that he got an invitation to your wedding.
>> Katie: What?
>> Simon: We didn't...yeah, I know.
>> Lily: Obviously, you didn't send out invitations, I know.
>> Simon: Well, do you know where he lives? I can just go and have a chat to him.
>> Lily: I don't think he's from Oakdale. He's from Australia.

Scene 2:
Location: Frasier Cottage
Scene: Living Room and Outside

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, LILY SNYDER, HOLDEN SNYDER

>> Simon: Well, he doesn't sound so familiar. Um, did he tell you what he was looking for or -- ?
>> Lily: He asked some questions. He wanted to know your wife's name. He wanted to know where you lived. I said I didn't really know you that well. But he said he'll find you on his own.
>> Holden: Any idea who this guy might be, Simon?
>> Simon: No. Oh, he's probably just an old buddy from back home doing some traveling. No problem.
>> Lily: No. We just didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Obviously, we just thought you might want to know.
>> Simon: Well, you did the right thing. No, thanks for telling me. So -- who wants a drink? Cup of tea, brandy -- take the chill off.
>> Katie: Oh, I'll make some tea.
>> Lily: Yeah, let me help you with that tea.
>> Holden: Anything you want to tell me now that Katie's gone?
>> Simon: No. No, like what?
[ Holden laughs ]
>> Holden: You know, maybe I misread it, but there was this look on your face when Lily told you about this guy from Australia, and it seemed like it really bothered you.

Scene 3:
Location: Frasier Cottage
Scene: Outside

SIMON FRASIER, HOLDEN SNYDER

>> Simon: Look, I need to get some wood for the fire. Do you want to give us a hand?
>> Holden: Sure. What's going on?
>> Simon: Look, I tell you this, you promise not to tell anyone, not even Lily?
>> Holden: Done.
>> Simon: Look, the guy that Lily was describing sounds a lot like a bloke called Bartleby Shears. I knew him back in Sydney.
>> Holden: Was he a friend?
>> Simon: More like a manager. Look, when I went from the farm to the city, I was part of a group of street kids. We picked a few pockets, ran card games, roughed people up for money, that sort of thing. Bartleby was the organizer. He took a cut and kept us in line when we needed it.
>> Holden: How long were you involved with him?
>> Simon: Less than a year.
>> Holden: So what could he possibly want now?
>> Simon: When I was 17, I got busted breaking into a locker at the bus station. The cops worked me over. I wound up pointing the finger at Bartleby. They arrested him. They got him on every charge from robbery, assault, corrupting minors, every single charge they could pin on him.
>> Holden: So he did some time, then?
>> Simon: Well, I left Australia before the trial, but yeah, I assume so, yes.
>> Holden: So then he's probably here to settle the score.
>> Simon: A distinct possibility, yes.
>> Holden: How could he possibly know that you --
>> Simon: I have no idea. I have no idea. Look, Tom's been doing some legal work for me back home. Bartleby's pretty connected, maybe he got wind of it that way.
>> Holden: Doesn't sound like he's here for a friendly visit, that's for sure.
>> Simon: Bartleby Shears lives his life on the fringes of society. He does what he wants, without any fear of the consequences. Now, if it is him, I'm not the only one who should be watching my back. No one in Oakdale is safe.

Scene 4:
Location: Frasier Cottage
Scene: Outside and Living Room

SIMON FRASIER, HOLDEN SNYDER, LILY SNYDER, KATIE FRASIER

>> Holden: You know, you don't have to handle this Bartleby guy by yourself. If you need any help --
>> Simon: I know. I'll let you know. Thanks.
>> Holden: All right, so what do you do now? What's your next move?
>> Simon: I'll stay alert. Take the citizenship test. And once I pass, Katie and I are gonna be out of here quicker than you can say "God Bless America."
>> Holden: And what happens if Bartleby makes a move before that?
>> Simon: I'll deal with him. Shall we?
>> Holden: Let's do it.
[Simon and Holden return with the wood. ]
>> Lily: Well, that took a long time. Did you have to cut down the trees first to get that wood?
>> Simon: No, I was telling Holden about Australia.
>> Katie: Oh, really? What about it?
>> Simon: Oh, you know, just the usual things. How crocodile meat tastes a lot like chicken.
>> Lily: Is that true?
>> Simon: Absolutely, 100% truth.
>> Katie: Are you buying any of this?
>> Lily: Of course not.
>> Katie: Okay, so, boys, why don't you tell us what you were really discussing out there?

Scene 5:
Location: Frasier Cottage
Scene: Living Room

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, HOLDEN SNYDER, LILY SNYDER

>> Simon: Ever notice how ungrateful some people can be, Holden? Here we are, out in the cold, gathering wood, and all we get is grief. << Katie: Oh, come on, Simon. Don't give me the hurt routine. I just wanna know what you guys were talking about. As simple as that.
>> Simon: Holden?
>> Holden: What?
>> Simon: Shall we?
>> Holden: It's up to you.
>> Simon: Well, look, Holden, being the romantic that he is, he just gave me a few ideas for Valentine's day, and I think --
>> Katie: You were talking about the Australian guy. Just tell me.
>> Simon: No, I wasn't talking about any Australian guy. I have no idea who this guy is.
>> Katie: It's not the lying I mind so much. It's that he's so bad at it.
>> Lily: They all are. Get used to it.
>> Simon: Okay, look. Honey, all I did was I just asked Holden if he would drop by and check on the cottage when we're in Australia. I didn't want to mention it because then you'd be all concerned and afraid about break-ins.
>> Lily: Is that true?
>> Holden: Of course that's true.
>> Lily: Okay, all right. Hey, guys, we'd better drink that tea before it gets cold.
>> Simon: Okay, I'll build the fire.
>> Holden: I'll help him.

Scene 6:
Location: Frasier Cottage
Scene: Outside and Living Room

SIMON FRASIER, HOLDEN SNYDER, LILY SNYDER, KATIE FRASIER

>> Simon: Thanks for coming by. Good seeing you.
>> Lily: Thanks a lot. Thanks for the tea.
>> Simon: Holden, good seeing you, mate.
>> Holden: Thanks.
>> Lily: Sorry again for coming by so late.
>> Simon: No problem.
>> Holden: Come on, honey, let's go. Come on.
>> Lily: Good luck on everything.
>> Simon: All right guys. Drive safe. Bye-bye.
>> Katie: 'Night.
>> Simon: Well, that was fun.
>> Katie: Yeah.
>> Simon: So how about we go upstairs now for the real fun?
>> Katie: Not until you tell me the truth.
>> Simon: About what?
>> Katie: About the guy, the Australian guy that Lily met. Is there some reason to be concerned?
>> Simon: None at all. No.
>> Katie: Come on.
>> Simon: Look, I don't wanna talk about -- any more about subject of mysterious Australians or anything. How 'bout we go upstairs and start practicing how to have a baby before we forget how?
>> Katie: Oh, yeah -- like that's going to happen.
>> Simon: You want to take the chance?
>> Katie: No way.
>> Simon: Jump on. All right.
[ Outside the cottage. Bartleby listening.]
>> Lily: Are you sure everything's all right with Simon? He's acting kind of --
>> Holden: Yeah, Simon, he's fine. There's no reason to worry. Can we go?
>> Bartleby: Thank you very much, Mrs. I knew you would lead me right to him. I'll be seeing you soon, Simon. And we'll settle the score my way.

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February, 2003