EPISODE 2/8/02
Simon Asks Dahlia What She Wants

Home
Simonscript
February, 2002


FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 2002

Scene 1:
Location: Production Studio

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, DAHLIA, FIREMEN

>> Katie: [sitting at a newsdesk] This just in. Shocker! Katie Peretti is no longer an anchor. But don't cry for me, world. [strips down to her workout clothes] I'm married. I'm fit. And I'm surrounded by heroes. [joins the Firemen] They're handsome, gallant, and man, are they strong! So either sit back, relax and enjoy the scenery. Or get up, get moving and get in shape to find a few heroes of your own. Welcome to Katie Frasier's all-new butt-busting workout!
>> Director: Cut.
>> Katie: Yes! Thank you, guys. That was perfect. Beautiful, beautiful job.
>> Firefighter #1: I don't know. I think we might need a little bit more practice. What do you say, fellows?
>> Dahlia: I'm sorry to interrupt, but I need a moment with the star. Can you spare her?
>> Director: Yeah, sure. I'll get some opening shots of the firefighters.
>> Dahlia: Great.
>> Firefighter #2: But call if you need rescuing.
>> Katie: Oh, I will, and until then, I am buying a lifetime supply of tickets to the firemen's ball. It's so crazy seeing pictures of myself all over the studio.
>> Dahlia: "The studio"? Try "the world."
>> Katie: Come again?
>> Dahlia: Well, while you've been playing with fire, so to speak, I've been busy planning your career. >> Katie: That sounds good to me.
[ Simon clears throat ]
>> Simon: Hey, baby.
>> Katie: Hey.
>> Simon: Wow, you look great.
>> Katie: Thank you.
>> Dahlia: Well, I booked you with Letterman, Gumbel and Oprah, and I've also picked out a photo for the billboard in Times Square.
>> Katie: No way.
>> Dahlia: I've also mapped out a promo tour for the releases in Europe and Japan. What do you think?
>> Simon: Sounds like you're going to be very busy.
>> Dahlia: Oh, international megastars usually are.
>> Katie: Hey, did you hear that? We're megastars. Isn't this wonderful?
>> Simon: Yeah, yeah. I think it's brilliant.

Scene 2:
Location: Production Studio

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, DAHLIA, DIRECTOR

>> Katie: International megastar? Does that include Australia?
>> Dahlia: Well, actually, I was saving the best for last, but yes, the Australian release is set for next winter, which is actually their summer, so we'll be getting them right in the midst of their bikini season. You are going to be famous on both sides of the equator and everywhere in between.
>> Director: Dahlia, I need you to okay this next setup before we light it.
>> Dahlia: How about green, the color of money?
>> Katie: This is so incredible. I mean, I've traveled before, but that was with my mom when she was singing on the lounge circuit. Not exactly first class. I'm so excited. People are going to want to interview me. Oh, and Dahlia said that there might be a Katie doll in America's future.
>> Simon: Katie, stop. Whoa, slow down. Don't you think you're jumping the gun? You haven't even shot the video yet, and you're already counting your greenbacks.
>> Katie: Well, yeah, I know but Dahlia said --
>> Simon: Dahlia, Dahlia. Dahlia says a lot of things. What matters is what the public says. If they don't like the final product, then what Dahlia does means nothing.
>> Katie: What, you don't think it's going to be good?
>> Simon: I think you are going to be good. I think you are going to be amazing. But you can't guarantee success, okay, no matter what dahlia promises.
>> Katie: Are you -- are you jealous?
>> Simon: No.
>> Katie: Then Dahlia was right. You really don't believe in me.

Scene 3:
Location: Production Studio

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, DAHLIA

>> Simon: How can Dahlia say that I don't believe in you?
>> Katie: She's right. You say that you're looking out for me --
>> Simon: I am looking out for you. Why do you think I checked out the production company?
>> Katie: Which was totally legit. So why are you acting like you're still suspicious?
>> Simon: Because I am. All right, fine. Good, the production company checked out, but that doesn't mean Dahlia did. Okay, I'm still working on her background.
>> Katie: Maybe there's nothing to find.
>> Simon: Maybe there isn't. Maybe there is. Who knows, okay? We'll see.
>> Katie: But you're obviously looking for something wrong. Why? Why would you do that? Because there must be something wrong with someone who wants to make me a huge success? That is so insulting.
>> Simon: You are getting me the wrong way here. Totally getting -- I think you are a spectacular success, no matter what you do. But I know you and dahlia doesn't. Okay, I just think it's suspicious that dahlia comes in out of nowhere and promises the moon to a complete stranger.
>> Katie: You're wrong. Dahlia knows a lot about me. She was a fan of mine from WOAK, and you know that.
>> Simon: Exactly. Look, that's my point. Don't take this the wrong way, but why would dahlia choose a former small-town news anchor to sell millions and millions of her exercise videos instead of choosing someone with more nationwide name recognition?
>> Katie: I'm willing to be poor with you. Why aren't you willing to be rich with me? You've had rich wives before.
>> Simon: I have told you so many times before, I didn't love them. I don't want you to get hurt.
>> Katie: Then stop hurting me.
>> Simon: Listen, Katie, just wait for - [ Katie walks off ]
>> Dahlia: Did you upset her?
>> Simon: What? What are you --
>> Director: Look, we're ready to start shooting.
>> Dahlia: Yeah, and we don't want our star to be unhappy.
>> Simon: Fine. All right, I'll leave Katie alone, but not you, Dahlia. We've got to talk.
>> Dahlia: Later.

Scene 4:
Location: Production Studio

SIMON FRASIER, DAHLIA, DIRECTOR, KATIE FRASIER

>> Director: All right. Everybody take five.
>> Simon: Well, looks like we have time to talk now, doesn't it?
>> Dahlia: What do you want?
>> Simon: Answers. Why are you telling my wife that I don't believe in her?
>> Dahlia: Well, you made a fuss about her being in the video. What was I supposed to think? >> Simon: That you are completely suspect, Dahlia. So what's your game?
>> Dahlia: Should I tell your wife that you're harassing her producer?
>> Simon: What, you're gonna hide behind her now, too? Isn't making her your mark enough?
>> Dahlia: You know, you might not be able to appreciate this, but your wife has the kind of vibrant personality that translates into star potential. Have you ever heard of something called the "Q" factor?
>> Simon: Hmm. Uh, no. But I've heard of the BS factor. I've worked plenty of scams, Dahlia. I smelled yours the moment I met you.
>> Dahlia: Okay, just what would my payoff be? Katie's money? She doesn't have any. Your fortune? Well, you gave her a hat and mittens for Christmas.
>> Simon: So what are you doing? What, are you -- are you after her brother, is that it?
>> Dahlia: Well, he's good at looking rich, but that's about as far as it goes. So it looks like we've both checked each other out.
>> Simon: All right, let's just say for some unknown reason, that you are on the level. What's with all this talk about publicity before the final product? Before the video's even shot?
>> Dahlia: She'll be fine on the talk shows.
>> Simon: You're not afraid that someone will bring up the Endicott awards? Or maybe that's it. Maybe you want to build her up to bring her back down again.
>> Katie: No, Simon. Looks like you're doing that.

Scene 5:
Location: Production Studio

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, DAHLIA, DIRECTOR

>> Katie: I'm sorry, Dahlia. I didn't realize my husband --
>> Simon: Don't come in here apologizing for me, Katie. I'm trying to get some answers.
>> Director: Katie, we're ready -- what's going on? You're all flushed. I'm supposed to be doing close-ups next. I thought you said you'd keep a low profile around here.
>> Katie: It's okay. Don't worry about it. I never let my personal life interfere with my business, so -- I know the show must go on. That's why I'm going to be a star.
>> Dahlia: Well, looks like you really blew it this time, Simon. Now Katie's determined to prove you wrong.
>> Simon: Oh, and that makes you so happy, doesn't it? What do you want from Katie?
>> Dahlia: Maybe nothing. Maybe all I really want is you.

Home
Simonscript
February, 2002