EPISODE 12/22/06
Simon Chats With Henry
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Simonscript
December, 2006
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 22, 2006
Scene 1:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Terrace Hotel Lounge
SIMON FRASIER, HENRY COLEMAN
>> Simon: Great. I was wondering who that was for.
>> Henry: I called ahead.
>> Simon: You know what? Why don't you take your drink and go find a different chair? You know, better still, go find a different bar.
>> Henry: You know what? I'm fine here.
>> Simon: Thanks for stabbing me in the back, old pal.
>> Henry: Whoa, okay, how did I do that exactly? By stumbling across your fake diamond and giving it to the cops?
>> Simon: You broke into Carly's house.
>> Henry: You stole a necklace full of crown jewels.
>> Simon: Prove it.
>> Henry: I don't see what you're so bent out of shape about, any way, all right? You got away scott free from a major diamond heist --
>> Simon: Allegedly a major diamond heist --
>> Henry: -- You're practically a major real estate mogul.
>> Simon: Definitely a real estate mogul.
>> Henry: You're hooking up with the most beautiful woman on the planet. You are, aren't you?
>> Simon: Carly and I are finished.
>> Henry: Oh. Well, things are tough all over, aren't they?
>> Simon: Yeah, what's so wrong with you, huh?
>> Henry: My family has pretty much written myself and my baby sister off of the Christmas to do list. And I got another sister -- you know, the one that was killing all those people around here? Yeah, that one. She's locked away, and she spits obscenities every time she sees my face.
>> Simon: Yeah, well, you should be used to that reaction from women by now, Henry.
>> Henry: Yeah, I guess.
>> Simon: Listen, haven't you got some cool blonde nearby somewhere to ease the pain? You've always got one of them stashed somewhere.
>> Henry: Yeah, there's a blonde. Not Katie. And lately, not only has she been cool, she's been downright cold to me. So --
>> Simon: So -- Merry Christmas.
>> Henry: And a hell of a Happy New Year.
Scene 2:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Emma Snyder's Home
CARLY SNYDER, JACK SNYDER, VIENNA HYATT, KATIE KASNOFF
>> Carly: What are all of you doing here?
>> Vienna: We've been invited for Christmas. And you?
>> Carly: I'm leaving.
>> Jack: Carly, wait.
>> Carly: Did you know they'd be here?
>> Jack: Of course not.
>> Carly: Well, I can't stay here. I can't stay here and sit at a table with those people.
>> Jack: Why not? If you've got nothing to hide --
>> Carly: Because, Jack, I want some peace. I don't want to spend the night with people who are out to get me. And Katie and that crazy Vienna woman, they're still doing everything they can to make sure that I land in jail. And it's because of them that I just broke it off with the man I --
>> Jack: The man you what?
>> Carly: I can't stay here.
>> Jack: Where are you going to go?
>> Carly: Home.
>> Jack: The first place Simon will look.
>> Carly: No, Jack, he's not going to go there. I told you, it's over.
>> Jack: Then Katie and Vienna shouldn't worry you. And you can do what you set out to do.
>> Carly: Forget about Simon?
>> Jack: Spend Christmas as a family with the kids.
Scene 3:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Terrace Hotel Lounge
SIMON FRASIER, HENRY COLEMAN
>> Henry: We've been here before, haven't we? The first time you left Katie -- even though, supposedly, you were in love with her.
>> Simon: I did love her.
>> Henry: Wasn't it because she would be better off without you? The second time you left her, it was the same thing, wasn't it? Your big sacrifice?
>> Simon: Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'm just such a bad guy.
>> Henry: You are a bad guy. But I assumed that you were slicker than me. You're not smarter than me.
>> Simon: All right, who says I'm not smarter than you?
>> Henry: You. Me. Christmas. Bar. Alone.
>> Simon: Good point.
>> Henry: Uh-huh. So how is the old falling-in-love-and-then-letting -go-of-the-loved-one thing working out for you?
>> Simon: Not so good.
>> Henry: Then why don't you stop doing it?
>> Simon: Listen, if Carly's not willing --
>> Henry: Instead of deciding that the woman you love is better off without you and then leaving, why not stay and fight for her instead?
Scene 4:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Terrace Hotel Lounge
SIMON FRASIER, HENRY COLEMAN
>> Simon: Listen, mate, she's got kids. She's worried about them. You know, I can't mess with that.
>> Henry: Right, gotta think about the kids. What about the children?
>> Simon: What do you know about it? Listen, when did you become such a greeting card romantic?
>> Henry: I am just trying to help you out here, man. I know from experience that if you leave too soon, you may regret it for a very, very, very, very, very long time. So don't walk away too quickly. You have got to climb every mountain, you've got to ford every stream, damn the consequences.
>> Simon: You don't think that if I could make this work somehow, that I -- okay, okay. Henry, maybe you're right.
>> Henry: I am?
>> Simon: Yeah, yeah. Listen there are no obstacles. There's nothing keeping Carly and me apart. Katie, Mike and Jack think we're guilty of some kind of crime.
>> Henry: Allegedly.
>> Simon: But the truth is, there is no proof, and I told that to Carly. She's just scared that Jack might find something.
>> Henry: Or that Katie might.
>> Simon: But they won't. Because there is not one scarrig of proof to be found. So yeah, you know what, I am gonna -- what did you say? Climb every mountain and forge every ocean, swim every stream to go and convince Carly that she's got nothing to be afraid of. Henry, you are brilliant. How can I ever thank you?
>> Henry: You can pay for the drinks.
>> Simon: All right then, and then some, my friend.
>> Henry: Ooh.
>> Simon: Merry Christmas, pal.
>> Henry: Happy Holidays. Fa la la la.
Scene 5:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Emma Snyder's Home
CARLY SNYDER, VIENNA HYATT
>> Carly: Well, thank you so much for helping clean up the mess you made.
>> Vienna: Well, I don't know how to deal with brooms and mops and such things. I'm just going to leave that to you housewives.
>> Carly: Why are you here, Vienna?
>> Vienna: Because Emma and I bonded over my Swedish desert recipes.
>> Carly: No, no, no, that's why you stayed. But why did you come in the first place? Were you and Katie planning some kind of ambush?
>> Vienna: You know, I didn't even know that you'd be here.
>> Carly: Well, so why did -- oh, Mike. You want Mike.
>> Vienna: I think it's only fair to warn you that after the holidays, heads will roll. I know that you were Simon's accomplice.
>> Carly: Accomplice to what?
>> Vienna: In stealing Leonian diamonds. Don't play innocent with me.
>> Carly: Vienna, you wouldn't know innocent if you tripped over it. For all I know, you stole those jewels.
>> Vienna: What? I would not do such a thing. Never. No, I was just a pawn in Simon's game. He totally took advantage of me.
>> Carly: Was that before or after you jumped out of your clothes and into his bed?
>> Vienna: I won't apologize for wanting Simon. You know, he was very creative in the bedroom. And once a woman gets used to that sort of attention, it's hard to let go. You know? So I guess you'll just have to learn to do without, when your boyfriend's being locked up far, far away. But then again, so will you be.
>> Carly: Simon is not my boyfriend. And he never will be again.
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December, 2006