EPISODE 12/08/06
Simon "Pushes" Jack

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Simonscript
December, 2006


FRIDAY, DECEMBER 08, 2006

Scene 1:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Lounge

HENRY COLEMAN, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Katie: Okay, good, there she is. Listen, all you have to do is look -- Henry, come on!
>> Henry: What if someone I know sees me?
>> Katie: You've dressed up as a clown, and a tall, ugly nurse. Why are you suddenly so concerned about wearing a goatee?
>> Henry: Just a second here. I was never ugly!
>> Katie: Okay, let's go.
>> Henry: What about her? How ugly is she?
>> Katie: Who?
>> Henry: This Vienna person. Simon doesn't want her. Mike doesn't want her.
>> Katie: She's not ugly.
>> Henry: Okay, what's wrong with her? Something has to be wrong with her.
>> Katie: Nothing is wrong with her! She's just whinny and pouty and self-centered. >> Henry: Then what if she follows me. What if she stalks me? Have you thought about that?
>> Katie: I'm willing to take that risk. Let's go.
>> Henry: Think this through for a second. What if the diamonds of Leonia are safely stashed in Leonia? I mean, the police don't seem too concerned.
>> Katie: Well, Vienna suddenly showed up in Oakdale, right after Jack called her to ask her about the diamonds. If it has nothing to do with the diamonds, what is she doing here?
>> Henry: Visiting friends?
>> Katie: No. Vienna knows something about Simon and those diamonds, and we're going to find out what it is.
>> Henry: We? You go ahead. I'm gonna stay right here.
>> Katie: Vienna does not like me any more than I like her. She does like tall, strong men.
>> Henry: Is that her over there? Well, maybe I could help you out just this once.


Scene 2:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Java

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER, SAGE SNYDER, JACK SNYDER

>> Carly: What did the nice lady give you, Sage?
>> Sage: A present. It's really pretty. And it's magic!
>> Jack: Sage, sweetie, your mom and I are in the middle of something pretty important here. Do you mind if you show it to us later?
>> Sage: Okay, daddy. But I'm bored.
>> Carly: Yeah, you know what? I have paper and pencils in here. Would you like to draw a picture for your daddy maybe?
>> Sage: Okay!
>> Carly: All right!
>> Simon: So what's the problem here, Jack?
>> Jack: I had some questions about Carly's necklace.
>> Simon: Which are?
>> Jack: I asked you where you got the diamond.
>> Simon: And she said?
>> Carly: Of course, that I don't know.
>> Simon: There you go, here we go. There's your answer.
>> Jack: That's cute. Maybe you could tell me? Did you steal this?
>> Simon: All right, Jack. Katie's a pretty good writer, she's an okay writer, but don't believe everything you read.
>> Jack: I don't know if I believe Katie's book, but I believe what I see with my own eyes. You were broke and then you weren't.
>> Simon: So maybe I should write a book about how I sold some real estate. You can read that too. If you're worried about this diamond, it's not from Leonia, okay?
>> Jack: Then you won't mind if I take it and have it analyzed.
>> Carly: You want the necklace, you can take it. Simon, help me take it off.
>> Simon: Listen, listen, wait a minute. I gave this to Carly as a present, you're not just taking it off with you.
>> Jack: But if it's stolen property --
>> Simon: That's a pretty big if. Jack, you're not taking the diamond.
>> Carly: I want Jack to take the diamond.
>> Simon: Why?
>> Carly: Because it'll prove, once and for all, that I'm not lying.
>> Simon: So he called you a liar?
>> Carly: No, no, he just --
>> Simon: No, he just doesn't believe you? So you asked her if the diamond was stolen and she said no. I mean what are you going to do, Jack?
>> Jack: What do you think?
>> Simon: Well, considering you were once upon a time married to her, I would say you should believe her.
>> Simon: Jack, if Carly says the diamond isn't stolen then it isn't.
>> Jack: Problem with that is, Carly didn't say that, you did. And I don't take your word for anything.
>> Simon: Fine you're still not taking it.
>> Jack: And since when do you tell me what I can and can't do?
>> Carly: Oh, come on, you guys that's enough. All right?
>> Simon: Well, he is questioning you.
>> Jack: Yeah, that's all I'm doing. Questioning. I'm not arresting. To make an arrest, I need evidence. Hard evidence.
>> Simon: Yeah I know that.
>> Jack: Now, I can get a search warrant, but that would just make you look guilty.
>> Carly: It's okay.
>> Jack: Are you sure?
>> Carly: Yes.
>> Simon: Yeah, well, get the search warrant. That's a good idea. And since how I gave her the necklace --
>> Jack: Yeah, you gave it to her. She can do with it what she wants.
>> Simon: Fine, all right? It's up to you. What do you want to do?
>> Carly: Jack? >> Jack: Getting a search warrant is a hassle for me, but I'll get it. Now or later makes no difference to me. But if it makes a difference to you --
>> Simon: We'll take the search warrant, yup, thanks.


Scene 3:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Terrace Hotel Lounge

HENRY COLEMAN, KATIE KASNOFF, VIENNA HYATT

>> Henry: Pardon me --
>> Vienna: Yes?
>> Henry: Wow.
>> Vienna: Oh. I thought you were European when you first spoke to me, but you're American?
>> Henry: No, no, no of course not. I was just -- how do you say? I was fitting in with my surroundings. I saw you from afar, and I was not prepared --
>> Vienna: Prepared for?
>> Henry: So close. Your beauty, it's -- it's dazzling.
>> Vienna: Oh, well thank you. But you've seen me?
>> Henry: On formal occasions, with the Prince of Leonia.
>> Vienna: Here?
>> Henry: Everywhere. I am Wagner, Enrique Wagner. I am S.P.D. Of L. The special police division of Leonia.
>> Vienna: What exactly is --
>> Henry: You've heard of the KGB, the CIA, the NSA? Yes?
>> Vienna: Yes. But I've never heard of --
>> Henry: Of course you've never heard of it. We keep our activities secret.
>> Vienna: Well, you certainly got here quickly.
>> Henry: I did? Yes, yes, I did! Yes.
>> Vienna: Did Detective Jack contact you?
>> Henry: Not exactly. We intercepted some of his communications.
>> Vienna: Wow, so you're here to take my statement?
>> Henry: Yes, I am. How about your phone number? In case I -- we need to get more details later.
>> Vienna: Of course. I'm ready and willing to give you everything you need. But I'm a little thirsty.
>> Henry: What would you like to drink? Another cocktail? Well, you're a spy. You tell me.
>> Henry: One favorite drink coming right up. Quick. What's her favorite drink?
>> Katie: Anything that costs more than $500.
>> Henry: Okay, okay, come on. I've got to prime the pump here, baby.
>> Katie: Okay. Just make sure I get my money's worth.
>> Henry: Yeah, you will.


Scene 4:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Lounge

VIENNA HYATT, HENRY COLEMAN, KATIE KASNOFF, MIKE KASNOFF

>> Vienna: And were you guarding the prince on his trip to Monaco last month?
>> Henry: Oh, yes of course. We members of the S.P.D. must be near the prince at all times.
>> Vienna: You naughty boy, you must have seen. Don't play with me after you've seen me naked.
>> Henry: I would never do that. Unless of course, you insisted.
>> Vienna: I just love your goatee. Maybe you and I could recreate that moment in Monaco -- and swim naked in the moonlight.
>> Henry: I know of a hot springs very near here.
>> Vienna: What is it?
>> Henry: I was just signaling to the bartender to bring us another bottle of champagne.
>> Vienna: Oh so we could take that with us when we go for our swim. A hot spring in the cold and the moonlight it makes me so -- hot.
>> Henry: Me too. But first, let us take care of this annoying business, quickly. What happened the night that you wore the diamonds of Leonia here in Oakdale?
>> Vienna: I arrived with the prince and unfortunately, we'd been waiting for quite a while. I had a little bit too much champagne. That makes me very -- pliable.
>> Henry: Oh, yes? Does it?
>> Vienna: And so that's when I saw this awful man from my past. And I didn't -- Mikey! How wonderful to see an old friend. I've been so lonely. Enrique?
>> Henry: Just doing my job, moving along.
>> Mike: Henry? What are you doing? Why are you wearing that stupid beard?


Scene 5:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Java

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER, JACK SNYDER

>> Jack: You're acting like someone who's got something to hide.
>> Simon: No Jack, just someone who knows his rights.
>> Carly: Oh, Jack is not violating anyone's rights.
>> Simon: No, well he is accusing us of stealing the diamond. Based on what? I mean has the prince filed a complaint?
>> Jack: No.
>> Simon: No? So essentially, we're under suspicion because Katie and Vienna accused us?
>> Jack: That's part of it.
>> Simon: All right, all right. Here's a tip, Jack. Scorned women don't exactly make reliable witnesses.
>> Carly: Simon, stop it!
>> Simon: No, you know what? I think we should defend ourselves here, all right? What's your probable cause?
>> Carly: Jack's just doing his job. He doesn't have to take my word for anything -- not anymore. Jack, if you want the necklace, take it.
>> Jack: Simon's right. You don't have to cooperate without a court order. I'll be back when I have one. Bye, honey.
>> Simon: It's always fun going head-to-head with the cops. I think we fooled him.
>> Carly: Will you stop it! Don't do that. Don't make fun of Jack.


Scene 6:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Terrace Hotel Lounge/Hallway

HENRY COLEMAN, KATIE KASNOFF, VIENNA HYATT, MIKE KASNOFF

>> Henry: Look I'm undercover, okay? I'm just doing a job.
>> Mike: Since when?
>> Vienna: Enrique, you lied to me?
>> Henry: No --
>> Mike: Katie. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Where are you going? What do you think you are doing?
>> Katie: I'm just trying to put Simon in jail where he belongs so that you and I can be together --
>> Vienna: Is that what this is all about? Simon stealing the diamonds?
>> Mike: He really stole them? You can prove that?
>> Vienna: Well, not exactly prove, but -- you should have just asked me, instead of sending this -- person, who's trying to seduce me with champagne.
>> Henry: You know, about that -- I am still up for that swim, if you are.
>> Katie: Wait, hold on. But you said -- you told Jack --
>> Vienna: Yeah, I know what I told Jack, that the jewels were in the royal vault, and I was mistaken.
>> Henry: That's great. About that swim.
>> Vienna: So you and your wife are trying to put Simon in jail?
>> Mike: No, I didn't have anything to do with this. Katie and I are --
>> Katie: No, you don't need to tell her.
>> Vienna: What is it?
>> Henry: Mike and Katie are separated. You know, about that swim --
>> Vienna: Really?
>> Henry: Oh, man --
>> Vienna: Well, then, who cares about the stupid diamonds? You know, you are here, and so am I, and we're both unattached. Maybe we should --
>> Mike: Look, it's good seeing you, okay? There's something I got to do.
[ Mike and Katie move into the hallway ]
>> Vienna: You lied to me.
>> Henry: Just trying to help out a friend, that's all.
>> Vienna: Well, I find that very intriguing in a man.
>> Henry: I lie all the time. I can't seem to stop myself.
>> Katie: Hey! Isn't that great about the diamonds? It proves that I'm right, that Simon's still a thief.
>> Mike: And you are still obsessing over him.
>> Katie: No, I'm obsessing over you. You're my husband, I love you. I'm only trying to gather this evidence against Simon so that --
>> Mike: To what? To prove something to me? Katie, you slept with the guy. That's all the proof I need that we don't belong together anymore.
[ Mike leaves, Katie returns to Vienna and Henry ]
>> Vienna: Well, maybe if you lose the goatee.
>> Henry: Consider it gone.
>> Katie: Sorry, Henry.
>> Vienna: So, are we going swimming or not?
>> Henry: I'm afraid not. Here.
>> Vienna: Ah, well.
>> Henry: Mike? >> Katie: He still hates me.
>> Henry: Why don't you go home and -- we'll get together tomorrow, huh?
>> Katie: No, no, no, I have to do something tonight. The faster Simon is in jail, the faster Mike will forgive me.
>> Henry: But you just --
>> Katie: No, he has to forgive me! I can't lose him, Henry.
>> Henry: Okay, you figure out what you want to do and give me a call.
>> Katie: Let's go to the police.
>> Henry: Jack already has Vienna's statement --
>> Katie: Then why hasn't he arrested Simon? Let's go find out, please?
>> Henry: Oh, come on.


Scene 7:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Java

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER,

>> Simon: All right, I am not making fun of Jack.
>> Carly: He was trying to help us.
>> Simon: What, but accusing us of grand theft? Carly, if that diamond had been real --
>> Carly: Jack thinks that it is real.
>> Simon: All the more reason to force him to get a warrant. Okay, innocent people don't just hand over expensive jewelry without legal incentive.
>> Carly: Jack is the person who brought up the warrant in the first place, remember? He was trying to give me a way out if I needed it. Why didn't you just let him take the necklace?
>> Simon: Because it ticked me off, him doubting you like that.
>> Carly: Well, he has a right to doubt me, doesn't he? We did steal the jewels.
>> Simon: You don't think I see how much it hurts you when he calls you a liar.
>> Carly: That's what I am, isn't it? Jack's just trying to protect me.
>> Simon: Yeah, 'cause he still loves you.
>> Carly: Because he doesn't want to see the mother of his children go to jail.
>> Simon: Well, neither do I, but we're not just going to hand it over to him. He'll think it was a setup then.
>> Carly: Oh, Simon, don't you get it? He's already onto us. He knows that something is up.
>> Simon: So, by getting a search warrant --
>> Carly: He was giving us a chance to get rid of evidence, if there was any.
>> Simon: Well, there is none, 'cause we dumped it. Why aren't you happy about this?
>> Carly: Because I don't like lying to Jack.
>> Simon: You're having regrets.
>> Carly: I like where I ended up. I'm glad the building was a success. My business is off and running. It's just how I got here --
>> Simon: And who you got here with. Regrets about that, too?
>> Carly: Can we just -- can we not talk about this now?
>> Simon: No, no. Seriously. I mean, if being with me is making you feel worse about all this, just tell me. 'Cause we don't have to stay together.
>> Carly: Simon, this isn't about us.
>> Simon: Sure sounds like that way to me.
>> Carly: I was married to Jack. I loved him for a very long time. I don't enjoy making him look like a fool.
>> Simon: So you'd rather confess to Jack and spend the next few years in prison?
>> Carly: No, of course not. You know that I want to get away free and clear. But Simon, Jack was working security the night we stole those diamonds. So no matter what happens or how this ends up, he's gonna end up looking bad. I just -- I have a hard time dealing with that.
>> Simon: Jack's gonna be fine, okay? He'll do his job by the book, he'll get his little search warrant, he'll discover that this is a fake. Probably give you grief for dating a guy who would give you a fake, and then it's over. It's done. The theft of the Leonia diamonds goes away as an unsolved crime.
>> Carly: With Jack's name attached.
>> Simon: We can't undo what we've done. Will you please stop worrying about Jack?
>> Carly: You make that sound pretty easy.


Scene 8:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Police Department

HENRY COLEMAN, KATIE KASNOFF, MIKE KASNOFF

>> Mike: So Vienna really did give you a statement?
>> Jack: Yeah, according to her, Simon stole the diamond necklace she was wearing the night of the gala.
>> Mike: So what happens next?
>> Katie: Okay, when are you arresting Simon?
>> Jack: I need more information, Katie.
>> Katie: Well, Vienna is saying now that the jewels really were stolen --
>> Jack: The thing is, they weren't Vienna's jewels, so she can't give me an official statement. Only the prince can do that. Henry, what are you doing? You need to stay here in case you need to be a witness.
>> Henry: Witness to what?
>> Katie: I don't know. Police incompetence.
>> Mike: Katie --
>> Henry: I think you're very competent, for the record.
>> Katie: You need to call the prince and tell him what's going on.
>> Jack: Thank you, Katie, I know what I need to do. And I have called the prince, he's on holiday and I'm waiting to hear back.
>> Katie: Oh, come on. Nobody in Leonia can get a hold of him? That's ridiculous. Tell them that it's urgent! Get him on the phone, now!
>> Henry: Katie, stop yelling at the nice detective.
>> Jack: I am doing the best I can with what I got.
>> Katie: Well, call in Vienna. Bring her in here. She'll tell you.
>> Mike: Katie, stop!
>> Jack: I can't arrest Simon on just Vienna hearsay's evidence. I need more time to build a stronger case. Please, all of you, go home. The wheels of justice will still be turning without you gathered around my desk.
>> Katie: We still think alike. The way we both showed up here, wanting the same thing.
>> Mike: Katie, I came here because I wanted to make sure Vienna went to Jack. You came here because you want to punish Simon. There's a big difference.
>> Mike: Henry.
>> Henry: Yeah?
>> Mike: Will you make sure she's okay?
>> Henry: Yeah.
>> Mike: And don't tell her I --
>> Henry: That you still care about her? I won't. But I think you should.


Scene 9:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Police Department

JACK SNYDER, MIKE KASNOFF

>> Jack: Is Katie really gone or should I still be filing things?
>> Mike: She's gone. I'm sorry she got so --
>> Jack: Insulting? Obnoxious? Rude?
>> Mike: Yeah. It's about us. She thinks if she does everything she can to get rid of Simon --
>> Jack: You two will get back together? Yeah I figured.
>> Mike: You know Katie.
>> Jack: Mm-hmm.
>> Mike: Is Carly involved in this thing, too?
>> Jack: She says she isn't.
>> Mike: What do you think happened the night of the ball?
>> Jack: That's what I'm trying to figure out.
>> Mike: But you really don't want to know, do you?


Scene 10:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Java

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER, SAGE SNYDER

>> Carly: Hey, Sage, get your stuff together, okay? We're gonna go.
>> Simon: Listen, from experience when I used to do this a lot -- I've spent years terrified of getting caught, so >> Carly: Simon, what we did is not normal. And I can't pretend that breaking the law is just some sort of a easy way of getting things done.
>> Simon: What a lovely way to put it.
>> Carly: You are incorrigible. I'd like to think that maybe I'm not.
>> Sage: Hi.
>> Carly: Hey, you have everything?
>> Sage: Yes. Wait, I forgot my magic crystal!
>> Simon: So, where are you headed?
>> Carly: Home.
>> Simon: I'm guessing you probably don't want company?
>> Carly: No, no I really don't. I need some time to figure out what's really important. Okay, Sage? Come on, hon. [ Sage puts the necklace in her pocket ] Come on, come on.
>> Simon: See ya kid.


Scene 11:
Location: Oakdale
Scene:

HENRY COLEMAN, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Katie: I know Simon stole those diamonds. It's driving me crazy!
>> Henry: You've done everything you can to prove that. But it's out of your hands now. Jack is investigating.
>> Katie: Well, that's just gonna take forever then. Because by the time Jack comes to them, Simon and Carly will have ditched that diamond she's been wearing around her neck.
>> Henry: You really think that's part of the heist?
>> Katie: Yes, I know it is. There's no other reason that Simon would give Carly a diamond like that. And Jack is not putting 100% into this because I think he'd just as soon see Carly get away with it.
>> Henry: Would that be such a terrible thing?
>> Katie: Yeah, if Simon gets away with it too!
>> Henry: Oh, come on, enough with this vendetta thing please! Let's just let this end up the way it's gonna end up?
>> Katie: I need to end up with Mike.
>> Henry: Well, you heard Mike. Going after Simon is not going to get your husband back.
>> Katie: Yes it is. You don't understand. If Simon's behind bars, and I'm the one who put him there, Mike is gonna realize that he is the only one I loved and he will forgive me.
>> Henry: Sweetie, even if that were true -- even if that were true, what makes you think you can do more than Jack is doing right now?
>> Katie: We?

Home
Simonscript
December, 2006