EPISODE 12/11/01
Simon And Katie Go To The Church
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Simonscript
December, 2001
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 11, 2001
Scene 1:
Location: Lakeview Towers
Scene: Craig's Suite
SIMON FRASIER, CRAIG MONTGOMERY
>> Simon: Good morning, brother-in-law.
>> Craig: Hi, brother-in-law.
>> Simon: Come on. Come on. Aren't you gonna wish me a happy wedding day?
>> Craig: Okay, well, yes. Good luck again.
>> Simon: I don't need it -- again. So did anyone call to RSVP?
>> Craig: Well, you can check the machine yourself.
>> Simon: You're closer. Ouch. No one's called, and the ceremony's this afternoon.
>> Craig: Have you seen the yellow pages?
>> Simon: Oh, yeah, it's in my room. I needed a florist.
>> Craig: Oh, can you get it for me, please?
>> Simon: No, I can't, I can't. Katie's in there getting ready, and I can't see her before the ceremony.
>> Craig: Well, all right. I'll get it myself.
>> Simon: Hey, wait. Where you -- no, she's getting dressed.
>> Craig: I'll close my eyes.
>> Simon: I'll pull them out.
>> Craig: She's my sister.
>> Simon: Oh, well, I'm glad you remember. So why aren't you giving her away like
I asked you to?
>> Craig: Simon, you're already married, and Carly is leaving for Paris without me!
>> Simon: Look -- relax, relax. Okay, I know a sure-fire way to make things right
with Carly.
>> Craig: How?
>> Simon: Stop being such a selfish, spoiled pig!
Scene 2:
Location: Lakeview Towers
Scene: Craig's Suite
SIMON FRASIER, CRAIG MONTGOMERY, KATIE FRASIER
>> Craig: Simon, you've made a career out of marrying for money.
>> Simon: Oh, see? We have a lot in common, don't we? But you know, I owned up
to what I did. Didn't I? So come on, tell me what's wrong with Carly this time?
What's going on?
>> Craig: A minor obstacle.
>> Simon: Right. Oh, I know. And you need the right gimmick to pull her back in.
>> Craig: Actually, no.
>> Simon: And that's why you need the yellow pages. Good thinking, Craig. Always thinking. Up here in
the middle. Use your fingers for the walking. Good luck, man.
[ Door Closes ]
>> Katie: Simon?
>> Craig: It's all clear! He's gone.
>> Katie: Oh, good. 'Cause if he even gets one little peek at me -- going somewhere?
>> Craig: I've got an errand.
>> Katie: Oh, well, I hope it has something to do with a certain sister's wedding. 'Cause it's in only a
couple of hours, and it is gonna mean the world to me to have my big brother there to give me away.
>> Craig: Katie, I've gotta run.
>> Katie: Oh. But you're gonna be there -- Craig, you can't.
>> Craig: You're beautiful.
>> Katie: But you're gonna be there, right? I mean, you're gonna be there, at least. Okay.
[ Katie picks up a plant to act as her bouquet and hums "Here Comes The Bride" as she practices walking
down the aisle]
Scene 3:
Location: Lakeview Towers
Scene: Craig's Suite
SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER
[ Katie walks out hiding behind a garment bag ]
>> Simon: Excuse me there, bag lady, you wouldn't have happened to have seen
my wife, would you?
>> Katie: Psst, it's me.
>> Simon: Oh.
>> Katie: But no staring, only a glance. I'm pushing this superstition to the breaking
point as it is.
>> Simon: Okay, I will do my best not to stare. Any other rules that I should be aware of?
>> Katie: Let's see -- no staring, no touching, no kissing, no nothing, until we say "I do" for real.
>> Simon: As you wish. Getting nervous?
>> Katie: Ah, ah, ah, no. I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life. Have you ever wished so
hard for something to happen that you were sure that it never would?
>> Simon: Yeah, I guess. What were you wishing for?
>> Katie: I have everything that I've ever wanted. But when I was a little girl, touring around with my
mom, I did a lot of wishing. I used to create these elaborate weddings with all my dolls and my animals
there.
>> Simon: You took animals with you on the road?
>> Katie: Ah, ah, hey, hey.
>> Simon: Sorry. Sorry.
>> Katie: No, they were stuffed. But they were real to me. My animals were the
ones that I could tell my dreams to.
>> Simon: What like teddy bears? Things like that?
>> Katie: No, actually. Pretty much everything but bears. I had two little lambs and
little kittens and piggy. And I used to pretend that right before the ceremony was
about to begin, they would all become real, because I loved them so much. It was
like my own personal miracle from God. All my friends were there, my family, my little lambs and piggy --
they were filling the seats of the most beautiful church, all there to watch me marry the love of my life.
Second thoughts yet?
>> Simon: Not a chance. It's incredibly sweet.
>> Katie: Oh, there's one more miracle, actually. After the vows -- snow.
>> Simon: Snow?
>> Katie: Mm-hmm. I know, it sounds kind of crazy. All in the church, like magic.
>> Simon: Look, Katie, I don't know how many of these miracles I'm gonna to be able to provide, but you
know, today's a miracle in itself, right? No matter what the weather, no matter who shows up,
underneath here, you probably got the most amazing gown that Carly made --
>> Katie: Why do I have a feeling that you're not telling me something?
>> Simon: Okay, I'm not telling you something. The most important thing of all -- I am gonna spend the
rest of my life making every single one of your dreams come true.
Scene 4:
Location: Luther's Corners
Scene: Church
SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, REVEREND
>> Simon: Just a few more step okay. All right. Stop. Are you ready?
>> Katie: Ready.
>> Simon: So what do you think?
>> Katie: It's absolutely beautiful. You did all this for me?
>> Simon: No. I did all this for my gorgeous wife.
>> Katie: This is so unbelievable, isn't it? We've been together this whole year, but
today, we stand in front of this altar, we get married all over again.
>> Simon: For real.
>> Reverend: Mr. And Mrs. Frasier?
>> Simon: Hey.
>> Reverend: Good to see you.
>> Simon: You, too.
>> Katie: It's so exciting to be here.
>> Reverend: Yes. Well, are you all ready to renew your vows?
>> Katie: Are you kidding? Does a bear --
>> Simon: Shh. Yeah. Yeah, we're ready.
>> Katie: Just as soon as the guests arrive, we'll be all ready.
>> Reverend: That's wonderful. Now, just out these stairs, down to the dressing
rooms, and you can change. I'll be back in time for the ceremony.
>> Simon: Fantastic.
>> Katie: Call me crazy. Maybe this is just last-minute jitters or something, but
there will be guests here. Won't there?
>> Simon: People are gonna show up. Look, your sister's handling all that end of
things. All right? Your job, Mrs. Frasier, is to be happy and to look beautiful. Because today in this church,
this whole place is gonna be full of love. Full of love, I promise.
>> Katie: Oh, this is gonna be the most beautiful day of my entire life!
[ Katie leaves to get changed and Simon looks heavenward ]
>> Simon: Okay please -- do not let her be alone. Please? Not today.
Scene 5:
Location: Luther's Corner
Scene: Church
SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, REVEREND
>> Katie: Simon?
>> Simon: Wow. You look incredible.
>> Katie: Really?
>> Simon: Yes. Beyond stunning. I see you found the bouquet.
>> Katie: You got this for me?
>> Simon: Yes. Every bride needs a bouquet, right?
>> Katie: The perfect groom will do.
>> Reverend: Mr. and Mrs. Frasier, I hope there hasn't been any confusion among your guests about the
time of this wedding.
>> Simon: No. No, not at all. We're expecting them any minute, actually.
>> Reverend: You do have witnesses, yes?
>> Simon: Witnesses?
>> Katie: You know, most people bring a maid of honor and a best man to sign all the papers and stuff. But
it's no big deal. Is it?
>> Simon: No, no. I mean, it's no big deal, 'cause they -- they are gonna be here any minute. Very soon.
Any minute.
>> Katie: Any minute, Simon?
>> Simon: Yep.
>> Katie: I don't even have the right to expect any guests to show up. And a maid
of honor for me? Please. I'm not exactly honorable, and I have, like, no friends.
>> Simon: What are you talking about? What about me?
>> Katie: I'm your wife, Simon. You have to tolerate me.
>> Simon: Do you have any idea how unbelievable you are? Katie, you turned my
world . You -- God, you perplex and amaze me and I -- I love you for it so much.
>> Katie: Too bad you're the only one.
>> Simon: Look, I'm sorry.
>> Katie: No, no, no, don't, please. Don't you apologize about anything. This is all so beautiful, and it's all
you. It's not your fault. It's mine.
>> Simon: Your fault? What are you talking about?
>> Katie: When I moved to this town, I was so dead-set on being somebody. Well,
I became somebody -- somebody who would steal a job from Molly, who would
pretend to be stalked, who would go after Holden, try to get him away from Lily,
who would lie to her husband about one of the most precious things in the world
-a baby -- just so you wouldn't take off. I wouldn't blame anyone if they wanted to
boycott the wedding of someone like that.
[ Door opens ]
>> Simon: Hey, hey, hey, listen. Do you hear that? Huh? The guests are arriving.
[ Sheep baaing ]
>> Katie: Simon? Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
>> Simon: Yeah, they're sheep.
>> Katie: My little lambs. They did come to my wedding. I can't believe it. Lambkins and Larry, hi!
>> Reverend: Mr. Frasier, I'm afraid that we -- oh, no, how did they get in here?
Come on now. Shoo, go back to where you belong.
>> Katie: No, no, no. Mr. Elkins, they're supposed to be here.
>> Reverend: No, they're not. They're supposed to be at the farm down the road. I
mean, sometimes they wander into the garden, but this is their first time inside
the chapel.
>> Katie: They're here for my wedding. I know it sounds crazy, but it's really simple. I've done a lot of --
awful things in my life. But I confessed and repented, and now all of my dreams are coming true.
Scene 6:
Location: Luther's Corner
Scene: Church
SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, REVEREND
>> Katie: A bride's dreams supposed to come true on her wedding day?
>> Reverend: Mrs. Frasier, I am most happy to try to fulfill your wishes up to a
point. But I have to draw the line at farm animals in the sanctuary. The lambs will
have to go, immediately. And if your guests aren't here in the next five minutes,
we'll have to postpone the ceremony. My bible study class is due to arrive in the
next half hour.
>> Simon: Okay. That's fine. Thank you.
>> Katie: It's not gonna happen, isn't it? We don't get to remarry on our wedding day. No witnesses but
lambs. Who doesn't love a lamb?
>> Simon: I am so sorry. You know, I tried to --
>> Katie: No, no.
>> Simon: -- Make today so -- no, please.
>> Katie: No, don't. No, don't, please, Simon. I guess my dreams are just silly. You know -- Simon?
>> Simon: What the --
>> Katie: It's snowing! I can't believe it! Simon, my miracle! It's all coming true.
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December, 2001