EPISODE 12/11/00
Lily Finds Simon And Katie Preparing To Marry

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December, 2000


MONDAY, DECEMBER 11, 2000

Scene 1:
Location: The Old Mill

JENNIFER MUNSON, KATIE PERETTI, SIMON FRASIER, AND BRYANT MONTGOMERY

>> Jennifer: Good luck.
>> Katie: Thanks. Well, you know, now that I think about it, it actually is good luck that we all ran into each other here. I mean, what is a wedding without guests?
>> Simon: Look, Katie, we really don't need to make this a formal occasion.
>> Katie: Oh, I know, but it would be nice if you had a best man. And Jennifer, you will definitely catch the bouquet.
>> Jennifer: Well, thanks, really but -- I have to get home.
>> Katie: Oh, it won't take long, and we need you guys for witnesses.
>> Simon: Fine. You work out the details, all right? I really gotta get changed -
>> Katie: Okay.
>> Simon: -- If we're gonna make it on time.
>> Katie: Yeah, you're right. Should we all drive over to the courthouse together?
>> Jennifer: Could you do that somewhere else, please?
>> Simon: Look, I'm afraid I don't see any changing rooms around. I promise I'll only be a minute. Just turn your head.
>> Bryant: Katie, I'm really happy you're getting married if that's what you want.
>> Katie: Yeah, of course it is.
>> Bryant: Right. But I gotta be at work in about a half an hour, and I have to drop Jen off, so I'm really gonna have to say no.
>> Katie: Oh, but you really can't say no.
>> Bryant: Why not?
>> Katie: Remember last night at Java Underground, when I pulled rank on you? Consider this an instant replay. I'm doing it again.
>> Jennifer: You couldn't have seen him at Java Underground last night. He was with me.
>> Katie: Oh, yeah, we ran into each other. Right, Bry?
>> Bryant: Yeah.
>> Katie: Yeah, but it was pretty late, as I recall.
>> Jennifer: What is she talking about, Bryant? Did you go there after you dropped me off?
>> Bryant: I can explain.
>> Jennifer: You didn't have to work. Why would you go back to Java if you didn't have to work?
>> Bryant: Look, the truth is that Isaac called me in late and I had to go in there to help him restock the bar.
>> Katie: Busy as a beaver. Yeah, I came in and there was my nephew, working away. So, do Simon and I have a wedding party or don't we?

Scene 2:
Location: The Old Mill

BRYANT MONTGOMERY, KATIE PERETTI, JENNIFER MUNSON, AND SIMON FRASIER

>> Bryant: Look, Katie, you want to marry some guy you hardly even know, that's fine. You want to take my car there, that's great. But I don't see why you need me there.
>> Katie: I want you there, Bry --
>> Bryant: That's really sweet, Katie, but you know what? I've got things to do tonight.
>> Katie: As in -- things to do, people to see?
>> Bryant: Something like that.
>> Katie: Well, this person must be very important to miss my wedding. Anyone I know?
>> Bryant: Isaac. You know Isaac. He doesn't like when I'm late for work.
>> Katie: Well, I'm sure Isaac would understand if you had a big family event. So you'll come, won't you?
>> Bryant: If it means that much to you, Katie. Jen, I'm really sorry about this --
>> Jennifer: Oh, no, that's okay. Really, it is a wedding and all -- even if it's a really, really strange one.
>> Katie: Ooh, Simon. Lookin' good --
>> Simon: Yeah, well, that's nice, 'cause it feels like a straitjacket.
>> Katie: Well, this straitjacket happens to be one of my brother's best suits. And if you knew what I went through to get it, then you wouldn't be complaining. Ready to take the plunge?
>> Simon: Yeah, ready as I'll ever be.
>> Katie: Then let the wedding march begin.

Scene 3:
Location: Carroll County Courthouse
Scene: Justice of the Peace

LILY WALSH SNYDER, TOM HUGHES, MARGO HUGHES, AND A CLERK

>> Lily: Are you sure this is the right place?
>> Tom: It's the only courthouse in Carroll County. It's gotta be it.
>> Lily: Well, then why isn't anybody here?
>> Margo: Are you sure you got the right date and time?
>> Clerk: Oh, evenin', folks. How can I help you?
>> Tom: We're looking for a Simon Frasier. He supposedly had an appointment here tonight.
>> Clerk: Frasier, Frasier -- Frasier! Oh, you must be the wedding party!
>> Lily: Oh, no, it's true.
>> Margo: Well, I guess we found the place.
>> Clerk: Indeed you did! Now let's hope the bride and groom find it.
>> Lily: You haven't heard from them?
>> Clerk: Well, not since she made the appointment. But that's not unusual. I'm sure the happy couple'll be here any moment to pick up the license and tie the knot.
>> Lily: Could you do me a favor? Could you tell me the other name on the license? Other than Mr. Frasier's?
>> Clerk: Well, it's the bride's name, of course.
>> Margo: Yes, but we're friends of the groom. So we don't know the bride very well.
>> Tom: Right, we don't know her that well, and also, we'd just like to get her name right before she arrives.
>> Clerk: Oh, let me check for you. Peretti -- Kathryn. Does that sound right?
>> Lily: Unfortunately. It's unfortunate that they're not here yet.
>> Clerk: Well, I know they were coming from Oakdale, so they'll be here soon. Yeah, the bride said she thought our little town was real romantic.
>> Margo: Yeah, far off the beaten track, too. Katie, just when you think she's pulled just about everything she can pull, she just goes one better.
>> Tom: Yeah, well, as soon as the happy couple gets here, we'll put the kibosh on all the insanity.

Scene 4:
Location: Carroll County Courthouse
Scene: Courtroom

LILY WALSH SNYDER, KATIE PERETTI, TOM HUGHES, MARGO HUGHES, SIMON FRASIER, AND A CLERK

>> Clerk: I assume you're the groom.
>> Lily: Excuse me. What is this?
>> Katie: Lily, please, don't make a scene.
>> Lily: Butt out. So -- you never left the country?
>> Simon: No.
>> Lily: What am I supposed to do now? Kiss you or hit you?
>> Katie: You're not going to do anything.
>> Lily: Tell me the truth. What's going on?
>> Margo: There's nothing's going on. Not if I have anything to say about it, 'cause, Katie, you are not going through with this.
>> Katie: Well, Margo, I do not need your permission. I don't need anyone's permission. I'm an adult, I can make my own decisions, and I've decided to marry Simon.
>> Clerk: Shall I let the judge know you're here?
>> Tom: Would you hold on a sec? Look, I don't know what's behind all this. I mean, as far as your motives, I don't know if they're romantic or noble or if you're just trying to help out a friend, but you are making a serious mistake.
>> Katie: Well, that's your opinion.
>> Tom: No, see, it's the law. You can't marry an illegal alien just to keep him in the country.
>> Katie: I love Simon.
>> Lily: Oh, give me a break!
>> Katie: And no one can prove that I don't.
>> Tom: Well, that's what they're gonna spend all their time trying to do, and given all the negative publicity you've had recently, I doubt you want your name dragged through the mud again.
>> Margo: And the media's gonna eat you up for breakfast, lunch and dinner, Katie.
>> Katie: You think I care what people think?
>> Lily: This is not worth it, Simon. Just walk away. Just walk away.
>> Simon: I wish it was that simple, Lily.
>> Katie: Don't listen to her, Simon. She's bitter and jealous.
>> Lily: Jealous? Jealous of you? Don't make me laugh. Look, this is not about you getting married. It's about you marrying her. This is trouble. Nothing but trouble. Ask anybody, ask her own family.
>> Tom: You are in way over your head. You could both wind up in serious legal trouble.
>> Margo: There's no "could" about it.
>> Katie: Oh, since when are you an expert on immigration law?
>> Margo: Since Agent Halliwell of the I.N.S. came to visit me in my office and told me all the charges he's gonna throw at you if you go through with this.
>> Katie: So? So what couple has found happiness without overcoming obstacles?
>> Margo: Oh, katie, what are you doing? "Romeo and Juliet"?
>> Lily: Margo, Katie's not gonna listen to reason. But you will, won't you?
>> Simon: I'm just doing what I have to do, Lily.
>> Lily: Excuse me. Look, we talked about this. We would fight this battle. Even if you had to be out of the country. We would do this legally -- in the courts, and bring you back home, here, where you belong.
>> Simon: Look, I have no doubt that you would do that for me, Lily. No doubt at all.
>> Lily: But you can't possibly go through with this, Simon.
>> Simon: I'm sorry, Lily, but I have to.

Scene 5:
Location: Carroll County Courthouse
Scene: Courtroom

SIMON FRASIER, LILY WALSH SNYDER, KATIE PERETTI, JENNIFER MUNSON, BRYANT MONTGOMERY, MARGO HUGHES, TOM HUGHES, AND A JUDGE

>> Simon: The only reason that I am doing something so drastic -- yeah, it's even stupid, is that this may be my one last chance to stay here in Oakdale to be near you.
>> Lily: I thought we talked about this already. We decided that you would leave the country until we could figure out a way legally to get you back here.
>> Simon: Okay, that's logical, that's sensible, I agree. But do you know when logic and sense went out the window, lily? The minute you told me you loved me. I couldn't do it. There is no way that I could let them drag me away after that.
>> Lily: I can't let them take you away. It's just -- it's killing me.
>> Simon: Then you understand how I feel.
>> Lily: What I don't understand is her. How is Katie -- how is she a solution?
>> Simon: She wanted to help. That's all. She offered me an alternative, an alternative that can work. That is all this wedding is about.
>> Katie: Everybody's waiting. We can't be rude, and I think it's a little too late to be having this discussion.
>> Lily: You know, you really are the queen of appropriate, aren't you?
>> Katie: Well, at least I know how to put my needs aside for the sake of someone that I care about. If you weren't so petty, you would back off and do the same thing.
>> Lily: Well, how 'bout backing off -- how 'bout backing off and setting your sights on somebody that's not involved with me.
>> Katie: Maybe if you could make up your mind about which one you wanted, then I wouldn't always have to be there to pick up the pieces.
>> Simon: That's enough.
>> Jennifer: Funny, I've lost all desire I ever had to catch Katie's bouquet.
>> Bryant: Gee, I can't imagine why, Jen.
>> Jennifer: You know, in fact, if we stay any longer, I think I might swear off love for good, so, um --
>> Bryant: Well, in that case, we're getting out of here. Come on. Look, I hate to put a damper on this lovely occasion -- Katie, you've got plenty of witnesses here, it seems, so we're gonna head out of here.
>> Katie: But, Bryant, you said --
>> Margo: No, that's okay, you go ahead, because there isn't gonna be a wedding here today.
>> Bryant: Then best of luck, everybody, with whatever -- bye.
>> Jennifer: It's been real.
[Jennifer and Bryant leave]
>> Katie: Fine, we can still married without them.
>> Lily: You can, but you won't.
>> Tom: There's not gonna be a wedding, Katie.
>> Katie: Well, that is not up for any of you. That is up to me and Simon.
>> Judge: Simon Frasier? Kathryn Peretti? There seems to be a wedding on my schedule this evening. Well, are we ready to begin?


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December, 2000