EPISODE 8/6/02
Simon Has the Rose Of Sharon!

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August, 2002


TUESDAY, AUGUST 6, 2002

Scene 1:
Location: El Capitan Hotel
Scene: Hotel Lobby

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, PAUL RYAN, ROSE D'ANGELO, HENRY COLEMAN, LUCINDA WALSH, SLADE

>> Slade: I want this diamond, and I want it now.
>> Katie: Mr. Slade? Katie Frasier. We haven't seen each other since the first night I arrived in Avanya -- the night you warned me not to trust my husband.
>> Slade: I've had more than my share of cocktails and lost more than my share of poker games to your husband.
>> Katie: Oh.
>> Slade: But we've become fast friends, Simon and I. He's proven himself quite useful. Quite a friend.
>> Katie: That's my Simon.
>> Slade: I assume Mr. Frasier's informed you of our agreement concerning your diamond and provenance?
>> Paul: Okay, I'm Paul Ryan. I'm Rose's fiance.
>> Slade: The pleasure's all mine.
>> Paul: Simon tells us you can help us find Rose's father.
>> Rose: Yeah, yeah, you've been very helpful with my pop, I'm just wondering when I'll be able to see him.
>> Slade: As soon as I can pass the diamond over to his kidnappers. You do have the diamond, yes?
>> Rose: Gave it to Simon.
>> Slade: Perfect. Where might he be?
[ Whispering ]
>> Henry: Dead, just like we're gonna be.
>> Katie: He just went out for a walk.
>> Slade: When do you expect him to return?
[Simon starts to enter the lobby.]
>> Mrs. Frasier -- are you hiding something from me?
[Katie motions for Simon to leave.]

Scene 2:
Location: El Capitan Hotel
Scene: Katie's Room

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, ROSE D'ANGELO

>> Simon: Hey. It is so good to see you.
>> Katie: I have missed you like you would not believe. Okay, now, quick, get out of those clothes.
>> Simon: All right!
>> Katie: No.
>> Simon: Oh, this is business and not pleasure?
>> Katie: Well, sorry.
>> Simon: What's going on?
>> Katie: More sorry than you could ever know.
>> Simon: What is happening?
>> Katie: Okay, we need you to impersonate Donovan in order to get Joe back.
>> Simon: All right, has this got something to do with that guy downstairs?
>> Katie: Yeah, his name's Slade. He's the one that has Joe hostage. I met him the first night I was here. He actually told me that you were a dangerous man. Of course, he was referring to Donovon Curry, who was pretending to be you at the time, but I didn't know that yet.
>> Simon: Well, this must've been before he and Curry decided to team up and get the diamond.
>> Katie: Yeah.
>> Simon: All right.
[Rose enters the room as Simon is beginning to get undressed.]
>> Rose: Hey! No, no, no -- don't do that. I'm right here. Very nice.
>> Simon: All right, I'll be in here.
>> Rose: Here's his clothes. Slade is getting really anxious. He's looking at that trunk like it's got the diamond inside of it, okay?
>> Katie: I know -- no, no, no worries. Simon's fine. He's gonna be dressed soon. Oh, we need one more thing. We need to get some of those disgusting cigars that Donovan smoked.
>> Rose: Done
[Rose leaves the room.].
>> Simon: All right, so what's in that trunk downstairs that everyone seems to be --
>> Katie: Donovan. Donovan's in the trunk.
>> Simon: I take it he's not practicing to be a contortionist?
>> Rose: No.
>> Simon: So how'd he die?
>> Katie: He threatened to attack Rose with a knife, so of course Paul attacked him, they struggled for a while, and then Donovan fell on the knife and died. But not before telling us that Slade was the one who had Joe. So of course now Donovan is dead in the trunk, and Slade is waiting to talk to the guy.
>> Simon: Right. Come here.
>> Katie: I hope you can do this. You've gotta convince Slade that you're Donovan Curry. Otherwise, Joe's a dead man.

Scene 3:
Location: El Capitan Hotel
Scene: Katie's Room

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, ROSE D'ANGELO, PAUL RYAN

[ Simon coughing ]
>> Simon: So what do you think? You think I can pull this off?
>> Rose: Yeah. When in doubt, say something very obnoxious in a thick Australian accent like that guy on tv.
>> Katie: Yes, definitely very sleazy, very disgusting, no respect. You would sell your grandmother for a buck.
>> Simon: Oh, got it.
>> Paul: All right. Should we get the diamond out of the safe?
>> Simon: No, not yet. I don't know what I'm going to be walking into when I get down there. I don't want the diamond on me in case Slade pulls a weapon.
>> Katie: That's really good.
>> Rose: Good, good. Very good. Good thinking.
>> Katie: Okay. Let's not keep him waiting.
>> Simon: Oh, oh, oh, where are you going? Look, if I'm not taking the diamond with me, what makes you think you're coming with me?
>> Katie: I'm going to be your lookout.
>> Simon: You stay right here. No. Look, I'm gonna be a lot safer if I'm not worrying about you getting hurt. Okay?
>> Katie: Fine.
>> Simon: All right. See you soon.

Scene 4:
Location: El Capitan Hotel
Scene: Hotel Lobby

SIMON FRASIER, LUCINDA WALSH, SLADE

<< Simon: Well, how is everyone this evening, hmm?
>> Lucinda: Simon, the man. We're all feeling so much better knowing that you're here to negotiate for Rose's father. We'd be lost without you, darling.
>> Simon: You don't know the half of it.
>> Desi: I have a message for you, Ms. Walsh.
>> Lucinda: Oh, thank you, Desi.
>> Simon: Message, huh? Well, why don't you run along and take care of that and leave us men here to do some business?
>> Lucinda: Right, right. Do you have any message for Rose?
>> Simon: Yeah, yeah. Tell her it's only gonna be a matter of time.
>> Slade: You've got those yahoos thinking you're the real McCoy.
>> Simon: Yeah, that's the idea. Right?
>> Slade: Let's get down to business, shall we? The diamond, hmm? Where is it?
>> Simon: Well, that loudmouth from Jersey won't hand it over until she gets some kind of proof that her old man's still alive.
>> Slade: That's interesting.
>> Simon: Yeah.
>> Slade: She told me she gave it to you. Now, which one of you is lying, my friend?

Scene 5:
Location: El Capitan Hotel
Scene: Hotel Bar

SIMON FRASIER, SLADE

>> Slade: You're sure you can get this diamond from ms. D'Angelo?
>> Simon: Yeah. Yeah, well, it just depends on the timing of the old man's demise. You see, I need him alive.
>> Slade: Why?
>> Simon: Because I figured out that this face is worth a lot more than I thought. That Walsh dame is worth a mint. Now, if I can keep D'Angelo alive a little longer, there's more money to be made.
>> Slade: I want him dead.
>> Simon: Slade, he will be. I'm gonna kill him myself. Look, the man's feverish. So I'm gonna drug him, then deliver him to his daughter. All right? He's out like a light, but she doesn't care. 'Cause she's just happy to have the old man alive. And on the way to the hospital, he croaks -- accidentally, on purpose, if you know what I mean. You get yours, I get mine, D'Angelo gets dead.
>> Slade: Fine. For a piece of the action.
>> Simon: Well, I didn't think this partnership was gonna extend beyond the diamond. But yeah. Yeah, I think we can work something out. Mm-hmm. So where do we make the transfer?
>> Slade: One hour from now, on my boat, Golden Sunset.
>> Simon: Good thinking. One hour.
>> Slade: One more thing.
>> Simon: Yeah?
>> Slade: The other Simon Frasier? How will you dispose of him?
>> Simon: Well, you didn't hear? There was an explosion at the jail cell tonight. Mr. Frasier sizzled like a shrimp on the barbie, if you get what I mean.
>> Slade: Fortune smiles on you, my friend.

Scene 6:
Location: El Capitan Hotel
Scene: Katie's Room

SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, PAUL RYAN

>> Katie: Hey. How did it go?
>> Simon: Fine.
>> Katie: Is everything okay?
>> Simon: Fine, yeah. The plan's all set. We're trading the diamond for joe in one hour on Slade's boat.
>> Paul: All right, I'll go tell Rose.
>> Katie: So, are you sure he thought that you were Donovan? I mean, what if he's just bluffing? What if --
>> Simon: Katie, please. You're married to the ultimate con, remember? It was fine.
>> Katie: I just want you to be safe.
>> Simon: I will be. I will be. And I will always come home to you. I missed you so much.
>> Katie: Come here.

Scene 7:
Location: El Capitan Hotel
Scene: Hotel Lobby

SIMON FRASIER, PAUL RYAN, ROSE D'ANGELO, KATIE FRASIER, LUCINDA WALSH

>> Paul: What did Simon say when you told him?
>> Katie: Told him what?
>> Rose: That you're going back to Oakdale.
[Simon comes down the stairs to the lobby.]
>> Simon: All right, I better get going. Wish me luck.
>> Rose: Ahh, no, no, no. Not so fast. You might need this.
>> Simon: The Rose of Sharon. I chased this baby halfway across the globe. I thought it was all I ever wanted. Who would've thought it would only lead me to the real jewel in my life?
>> Katie: You come back to me, and come back in one piece. Okay, Simon Frasier? I love you.
>> Simon: I love you so much, baby. All right.

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August, 2002