EPISODE 8/28/06
Simon And Carly Caught

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Simonscript
August, 2006


MONDAY, AUGUST 28, 2006

Scene 1:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Simon: Wow. You do look lovely, by the way.
>> Carly: Thank you. You know, I was thinking --
>> Simon: Yeah, a little less thinking, a little bit more passing of the clothes.
>> Carly: No, no, just hear me out. I was thinking, if I were alone in a construction site and I spilled -- what is it again?
>> Simon: Spackle.
>> Carly: Spackle, thank you.
>> Simon: Spackle, yep.
>> Carly: Yes, yes, that's the word. If I spilled spackle on myself, I wonder if I would just take off my clothes and shower right there?
>> Simon: Well, if you were meeting an important supplier in less than half an hour and you didn't have time to go home and get changed, then --
>> Carly: You are blushing.
>> Simon: That's only because I was trying to be considerate and -- oh, to hell with it.
>> Carly: You're welcome. And you look lovely, too.
>> Mike: Oh.
>> Carly: Hi. Mike, this is not -- it's not what it looks like. Simon spilled -- would you tell him, please?
>> Simon: What can I say, Mike? You caught us.
>> Carly: What?
>> Mike: No, no, don't mind me. I just came by to get some of my tools and stuff. I'm sorry I interrupted.
>> Simon: What?


Scene 2:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER, MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Mike: Actually, I'm just looking for the spackle -- I guess you found it.
>> Carly: Yeah, see, that's exactly what happened. The spackle fell on Simon and so he took a shower. I wasn't even here when he took a shower. I just walked in just before you did.
>> Mike: Carly, it really doesn't matter. And I don't even work here anymore.
>> Simon: Right.
>> Carly: Is that all you have to say? Why is it that you have tons to say unless I need you to say something?
[ Cell phone ringing ] Please, tell Mike what actually happened here.
>> Simon: You just did.
>> Mike: Carly, seriously, don't worry about it, okay? Excuse me. Hello.
[ Katie at the Kasnoff's cottage ]
>> Katie: Guess what I'm holding.
>> Mike: The phone.
>> Katie: The thermometer. It's time for baby-making.
>> Mike: Yeah?
>> Katie: How fast can you get here?
>> Mike: Fast. Well, I'll see you around.
>> Carly: Mike --
>> Mike: Take care of yourself, okay?
>> Carly: I will.
[ Mike leaves ]
>> Simon: Well listen, that marble supplier guy's gonna be here any minute. Can you help me clean this place up? It's a mess.
>> Carly: How could you do that?
>> Simon: Do what?
>> Carly: Mike thinks we were having sex in here.
>> Simon: Well, I only witnessed Mike and Katie exactly the same thing right about -- oh, there.
>> Carly: Okay, so to prove that you still have it, you have to try and make him think that we've done it?
>> Simon: Who cares what Mike thinks?
>> Carly: I do. I live in this town. It matters to me what people think. I don't want them to think that I'm having sex with my boss just in broad daylight where anybody could walk in!
>> Simon: Nothing happened!
>> Carly: You and I are the only people who know that.
>> Simon: Carly, come on, relax. It's no big deal. I'll fix it with him.
>> Carly: This is not going to work.
>> Simon: Can we please not have this fight right now when an important supplier's about to walk in the door?
>> Carly: You know, you make the right noises. You say that you want to be some big-time real estate developer. You say that you want my designs because they're one-of-a-kind.
>> Simon: That's all true.
>> Carly: This is really all about Katie.
>> Simon: Oh, sweet fancy moses!
>> Carly: Making her miss you, making her want you, trying to make her jealous.
>> Simon: I wasn't even thinking about Katie!
>> Carly: I'm nothing to you, am I? I'm just a means to and end.
>> Simon: Okay, now you're being ridiculous. You are very important to me.
>> Carly: Just admit it, you're using me.
>> Simon: You really think that little of yourself?
>> Carly: Do you really care what I think?
>> Simon: You know what, you admit it, Carly. The only thing you're worried about is that Jack might find out from Mike that we "slept together." I'm sorry, wait, please. Can we just -- I'll square everything away with Mike, I promise. I'll fix everything. Can we just get this meeting out of the way? It's important.
>> Carly: So is my reputation.
>> Simon: Carly!


Scene 3:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Kasnoff's Cottage

KATIE KASNOFF, CARLY SNYDER

>> Katie: Get in here, sexy. I've got something I want to show you. Carly?
>> Carly: Oh, oh, my god. Sorry. Oh, boy. And I thought that Mike's timing was bad.
>> Katie: What does that mean?
>> Carly: Well, he walked in on something today -- you know what? It doesn't even matter. You guys have a good time, okay? Have fun. I really gotta go.
>> Katie: No, no, no, no, no, you don't. I'm not letting you leave here until you tell me what's going on.


Scene 4:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Kasnoff's Cottage

KATIE KASNOFF, CARLY SNYDER, MIKE KASNOFF

>> Carly: I just didn't want mike to misunderstand about something that he walked in on.
>> Katie: What?
>> Carly: Simon and I were at the construction site.
>> Katie: Yeah?
>> Carly: Talking.
>> Katie: Yeah?
>> Carly: Well, I just want to say right off the top that I was clothed the entire time.
>> Katie: Speaking of clothes, this dress -- is that a Giorgio? It is. Carly, how did you afford --
>> Carly: Simon got it for me.
>> Katie: Simon's buying you clothes?
>> Carly: No, no, no, no, it's just for this special business thing. Anyway -- Simon was naked. I wasn't. I was not naked, not even for a moment. We were just talking, but that's when Mike walked in. And that's it.
>> Katie: Simon was naked?
>> Mike: Hey -- Carly, what are you doing here?
>> Carly: Hi. Well, I just wanted to make sure that you understood that I had nothing to do with Simon being --
>> Mike: Naked?
>> Carly: Yes, naked. And I know that he was trying to make it seem like we had -- or like we might -- but, no. Nothing happened.
>> Mike: Okay.
>> Carly: Okay. Good. Okay, well, today seems to be my day for surprising people in various stages of undress, so I'm going to go. You guys have a good time.
>> Mike: That was weird.
>> Katie: You walked in on Carly and Simon?
>> Mike: Yeah. I like your outfit, though.
>> Katie: Something's wrong.
>> Mike: What?
>> Katie: Well, if Carly had to come all the way over here to tell us that nothing's going on, obviously, something's going on.


Scene 5:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Kasnoff's Cottage

MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Katie: So I guess what I'm still not fully comprehending is -- why was Simon naked?
>> Mike: I already told you.
>> Katie: You believe the spackle story?
>> Mike: Katie, I don't care what Simon and Carly have or haven't done. Do you?
>> Katie: No. No!
>> Mike: Good, good. Okay, well, then let's get back to us. You did not ask me where I stopped on my way home.
>> Katie: Where did you stop on your way home? What's that?
>> Mike: Well, first we take our clothes off, then I'm gonna rub -- what's wrong?
>> Katie: I just didn't expect you to stop for accessories.
>> Mike: All right, well, I just thought we'd experiment a little bit. It's just fun. Okay, you want to stick to the old fashioned way, that's no problem. Okay? All right? Come on, let's make a baby.
>> Katie: Now's not a good time.
>> Mike: What about the thermometer?
>> Katie: I called you over an hour ago. An hour makes a big difference.
>> Mike: Okay. So next time, I'll take a shortcut. But while I'm here --
>> Katie: No, I can't.
>> Mike: I don't believe this.
>> Katie: What?
>> Mike: Just because there's some slight chance that Carly and Simon are having sex, me and you can't have fun anymore?
>> Katie: No. I don't care what Simon and Carly are doing. I have an appointment. I was pushing it as it was when I talked to you, and you took so long to get here, and I hate that I have to go, but I have to go, okay? Rain check?
>> Mike: Sure.


Scene 6:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Java

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Carly: So how did it go with the Italian?
>> Simon: We're getting the marble delivered next week.
>> Carly: Oh, so you don't need me after all.
>> Simon: Well, I did pay 20% above what I would have had you shown up in that dress.
>> Carly: Serves you right.
>> Simon: I know. And it only proves my point. I do need you, Carly. I mean, nobody keeps me in line like you do. And somebody's got to keep me honest.
>> Carly: I'd also like to keep you clothed.
>> Simon: All right, fine. I will not disrobe in front of you again. Unless, of course, you invite me.

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August, 2006