EPISODE 8/25/06
Simon Caught Without Clothes
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Simonscript
August, 2006
FRIDAY, AUGUST 25, 2006
Scene 1:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building
SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER
>> Carly: Simon?
>> Simon: Hey.
>> Carly: Oh, hi.
>> Simon: Oh, I didn't mean to scare you.
>> Carly: No, no, you didn't. I'm sorry, I was just a million miles away.
[ Talking over each other ]
>> Simon: About what happened --
>> Carly: About last night --
>> Simon: So, I guess you were thinking about the same thing.
Scene 2:
Location: Oakdale
Scene:
SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER
[ Talking over each over ]
>> Carly: You first --
>> Simon: After you -- oh, I know. We'll flip a coin.
>> Carly: No, no. I always lose those things. So you just go ahead. You go first.
>> Simon: Okay. We kissed last night.
>> Carly: We did? Slipped my mind.
>> Simon: Yeah. And it would be highly inaccurate for me to say that I didn't enjoy it.
>> Carly: And we both know that you're a man who loves accuracy.
>> Simon: Yeah. And, well, clearly kissing you was most excellent, and some might say, and I realize now it's not a cliche -- I may have seen fireworks.
>> Carly: Take it easy.
>> Simon: But -- and this is a very important but -- you may not have wanted it and therefore, it may have been inappropriate.
>> Carly: You're such a sensitive man.
>> Simon: I'm trying. And I was thinking that nothing -- nothing should get in the way of us completing this apartment building and getting my investment paid off.
>> Carly: Right. So, while kissing me may create fireworks for you, it doesn't pay the bills.
>> Simon: Exactly. No, no, no, no. All I'm saying is that we should be professional, mature and focused on the big picture. And if smooching -- kissing should interfere with our working relationship, then we shouldn't do it again.
>> Carly: Got it.
>> Simon: Good. Hey, what were you gonna say?
>> Carly: Same thing. Exactly the same thing. That we should just focus on the work, that finishing the job done is of utmost importance, and so that means no funny business.
>> Simon: Good, none.
>> Carly: Right, agreed?
>> Simon: Agreed. To our professional working relationship.
>> Carly: Right on.
>> Simon: Uh-huh. So -- take off your clothes.
>> Carly: And so just how is me taking off my clothing part of the big picture, business-wise?
>> Simon: Oh, it's part of a new strategy.
>> Carly: You know, call me when you grow up.
>> Simon: No, see, taking your clothes off is just the beginning. Because after that, I want you to put on this.
>> Carly: That's a Gorgio original.
>> Simon: Why yes, it is. Direct from Milan.
>> Carly: That would look so good on me.
>> Simon: Why yes, it would.
>> Carly: Simon, if this is your little way of apologizing to me, I accept.
>> Simon: Well that, yeah, I apologize. And also, it's my little way of getting that marble supplier to speed up his delivery.
>> Carly: I don't follow.
>> Simon: I'm trying to be practical. You see, this guy's Italian, and this is an Italian dress, so you'll look like a blonde Sophia Loren. You'll hang on his every word, as he rambles on about shipping routes, and he's gonna be putty in your hands.
>> Carly: "Ladies and gentlemen, Simon Frasier. A man who enjoys ethnic stereotypes and demeaning women."
>> Simon: I am also gonna demean myself. You see, I got myself an Italian suit, so we're going to dress Italian, entertain him Italian-style, grovel Italian-style, and we'll get that marble delivered domani.
>> Carly: There is something so morally wrong about you, but I can't help but like it. But I do get to keep the dress?
>> Simon: Of course. I insist.
>> Carly: Yes. So do I. All right then. I will see you later.
>> Simon: Whoa, wait a minute. Where are you going? We've got to strategize.
>> Carly: I have to go and talk to Jack about weekend plans for the kids.
>> Simon: All right, fine, just make it snappy.
>> Carly: Oh, Simon, you know how I hate direct orders.
>> Simon: Carly, Carly, I'm sorry. Will you please be back here by 2:00?
>> Carly: I'll do my best, Mr. Frasier. I aim to please.
>> Simon: If you weren't so beautiful, smart and talented, I'd probably fire you. Damn it, Mike, I told you to clean up after yourself. Damn it!
Scene 3:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building
SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER
>> Simon: Hi.
>> Carly: Hi.
>> Simon: I didn't expect you back so soon.
>> Carly: Obviously.
>> Simon: Oh, you see, I spilled spackle on myself and I had to get it off before it all dried on me.
>> Carly: Right. Well, that's a definite priority. Well, you did a good job. Not a speck of spackle.
>> Simon: Yeah. Oh, you see right there, next to you. They're my clothes.
>> Carly: Right.
>> Simon: So, do you want to hand them to me or should I -- come over there and get them myself?
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August, 2006