EPISODE 8/23/06
Simon Suffers A Loss

Home
Simonscript
August, 2006


TUESDAY, AUGUST 22, 2006

Scene 1:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

SIMON FRASIER, MIKE KASNOFF, CARLY SNYDER

>> Simon: New York was the wind-up. This is the big pitch.
>> Carly: The boys with the bankrolls are coming to town.
>> Simon: You nervous?
>> Carly: What? No, no, of course not. You thought I wowed them in New York? Well, now they're on our turf.
>> Simon: Uh, Mike -- Mike? No point in bagging up your toys and going home. You'll only have to bring them back in the morning.
>> Mike: I won't be back. I quit. [ Looking at Carly ] And if you're smart, you'll do the same.


Scene 2:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

SIMON FRASIER, MIKE KASNOFF, CARLY SNYDER

>> Simon: You know you can't quit, Michael. You're under contract.
>> Mike: Sue me. I'll tell the judge how you bypassed the building inspector and got someone to sign off on a structure that's not up to code.
>> Carly: Oh, tell me -- Simon, you tell me that you did not do that!
>> Simon: Oh, come on, this? Please. This construction, completely solid.
>> Mike: Katie warned you about working with him.
>> Simon: Yeah, well, Katie hasn't had a good word to say about me in a long time.
>> Mike: Well, it didn't take you very long to do something unethical and completely illegal, did it?
>> Simon: A little overdramatic, Mike.
>> Mike: All right, you know what? Carly, you've still got a chance to walk away from this. Or you can hang around and hope this building doesn't collapse on you. I hope you walk, but that's up to you. Excuse me.
>> Simon: Well, that boy is really uptight. Makes you wonder how Katie finds any fun with him.
>> Carly: At least Mike's not a liar.
>> Simon: Whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, no, no, no. You can't quit on me, too.
>> Carly: Watch me.
>> Simon: So you're really going, huh?
>> Carly: Yeah, unless that door falls off its hinges and traps me underneath it.
>> Simon: And what happened to staying and wowing the investors?
>> Carly: Well, they're most likely stuck in the elevator. I think I'll take the stairs.
>> Simon: Oh, come on, Carly, don't -- this is our big chance. Don't walk away from this.
>> Carly: Simon, I am walking away from a disaster before it happens. After everything that's gone down over the last year, I can't afford to get into anymore trouble. Especially not if it involves selling investors on a possible death trap. I'm not gonna trade my children for a prison jumpsuit because you're too cheap or too stupid or too lazy to figure out what's wrong with this building and fix it!
>> Simon: Listen, my dealings with the building inspector have nothing to do with you -- or Mike.
>> Carly: That's right. As long as we get out while the getting's good.
>> Simon: And look, you know, you know he's signed on to this project, trying to find a way to get to me. And he thinks he's hit on it.
>> Carly: Simon, you bribed a city official!
>> Simon: I didn't bribe anyone. I merely made a very small down payment on our future success.
>> Carly: Down payment? Is that what you're calling it? That's cute, Simon. That's very creative.
>> Simon: Come on, Carly, you know if I'd waited for those repairs, our whole enterprise comes to a screeching halt. The deal cools, the investors take their red hot little checkbooks and go scouring someplace else.
>> Carly: Well, yeah, I'm sorry. I was always taught safety first!
>> Simon: Safety first? Fine, if that's your attitude, then pack your stuff, and go home. Because no one got anywhere by playing it safe. Oh, and I might as well just rip this up, huh?
>> Carly: Well what is that?
>> Simon: This? This -- this is just the work orders for the minor repairs to commence as soon as the investors sign off on our project.
>> Carly: But Simon, isn't that like fraud? Isn't that taking their money under false pretenses or something?
>> Simon: Carly, Carly, Carly, Carly, you have my word. That everything will be brought up to code and beyond once this deal is made.
>> Carly: Walk away. Walk away Carly, walk away. And don't turn back --
>> Simon: Look, if everything's made right in the end, why not stay and play? Do what you did in New York, and they will be throwing money at you. Because at the end of the day, you and I -- we can make this hunk of glass and concrete into a showplace, four stars and rising. We'll be the talk of the town. But you know what? I'll admit mike is right about one thing, it is your choice. So, if you want to run along like a scared little rabbit, I'm not going to stop you.


Scene 3:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER, INVESTORS

>> Simon: Gentlemen, thank you so much for coming.
>> Investor 1: You're welcome.
>> Simon: If you would just give us a moment, we'll be right with you. So, what's it going to be, Carly? Are you with me or not?
>> Carly: How do I look? Do I have anything in my teeth?
>> Simon: Right there, just a little bit. Go get 'em!
>> Carly: Gentlemen, hello. It's so nice to see you again. How do you do? How are you? Well, Simon and I have prepared an amazing presentation. At the end at which, you will be begging to get in on the ground floor. So, just relax. Make yourselves nice and comfy, and let me do all the work.


Scene 4:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER, INVESTORS

>> Carly: So, there you have it, gentlemen. Frasier Towers...24 stories of designed living...and you can see the list in your brochures of the amenities. But I assure you that is just the starting point. I will work with each and every tennant to satisfy their special and unique needs everything from floor covering to feng ensh, if they desire...and you should also know that my partner and I have projected that due to its prime location, this property will actually increase in value before we even open the doors, so, in terms of your investment dollars, I believe that's what they call a win-win proposition. Any questions at all?
>> Investor 1: I'm satisfied. Frasier, come to my office in the morning and we'll talk terms. And bring Mrs. Snyder.
>> Investor 2: Count me in.
>> Investor 3: I'm on board.
>> Simon: Absolutely. Gentlemen, thank you so much for coming and we will definitely talk tomorrow
>> Carly: So, how do you think it went?
>> Simon: Are you kidding me? Well, well, it was great, you were great...you know what great doesn't come close, you were amazing.
[ Simon kisses Carly ]


Scene 5:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Carly: Where the hell did that come from?
>> Simon: Damned if I know. If you'd like me to do it again--
>> Carly: No, no, again is definitely not on the menu, excuse me.
>> Simon: Oh, right.

Home
Simonscript
August, 2006