EPISODE 8/22/06
Simon And Mike At Odds

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Simonscript
August, 2006


TUESDAY, AUGUST 22, 2006

Scene 1:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

SIMON FRASIER, MIKE KASNOFF

>> Simon: That's what I like to see -- overtime. Only way we're going to meet these deadlines.
>> Mike: And we've got a problem, Simon. I had a hunch the other day when I saw that rot at the foundation.
>> Simon: Well, that's why I hired you, Mike. You're good with rot.
>> Mike: Simon, this building is a structural nightmare. I mean, didn't you get it inspected before you bought it?
>> Simon: My agent took care of details.
>> Mike: Okay, well, you're better off just tearing the whole thing down and starting all over again.
>> Simon: Tear it down -- now, wouldn't you miss the place, Mike?
>> Mike: Miss it? Why?
>> Simon: Oh, I don't know. It's just that the last time I showed up, you and Katie had turned this place into your own private x-rated boudoir. That's not what I'm paying you for, is it, Mike?


Scene 2:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

SIMON FRASIER, MIKE KASNOFF

>> Mike: Are you saying I haven't been doing my job?
>> Simon: Are you saying you haven't indulged in your fair share of distractions?
>> Mike: Look, I know my business, okay? We can either get a structural engineer in here and present a whole new business plan to the building commission, or you're going to have to tear the whole thing down.
>> Simon: Come on, Mike. That's going to take weeks.
>> Mike: If you're lucky. Simon, no investor's going to touch this place without an inspection certificate.
>> Simon: All right, fine. I guess I'll have to get my hands on one.


Scene 3:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Restaurant

CARLY SNYDER, JACK SNYDER, J.J.

>> Jack: I must admit that when I heard you were working for Simon --
>> Carly: You assumed the worst.
>> Jack: And I used the kids as an excuse to vent.
>> Carly: So now you approve?
>> Jack: It's not up to me to approve or disapprove, Carly.
>> Carly: Since when?
>> Jack: Go ahead, make this tough.
>> Carly: I'm trying.
>> Jack: And I'm trying to apologize for overreacting the night the smoke alarm went off.
>> Carly: So then I guess you -- you don't think I'm a bad mother for leaving the children with a babysitter?
>> Jack: Of course not.
>> Carly: And you think that I deserve to have a life beyond the boundary of the front porch?
>> Jack: Yes. And I called you that night to tell you at least that much, but you were in New York and -- Simon picked up your phone.
>> Carly: And you didn't call back.
>> Jack: No, I didn't.
>> Carly: Okay. Well, now you can add the "look out" and "watch your back" and "keep your eyes open" part.
>> Jack: Nope, there's no other part. I know you're too smart to fall for whatever Simon pulls.
>> Carly: Well, good. Because I want you to know that things between us are strictly professional.
>> Jack: I respect what you're doing, Carly. Trying to make a new start of it, try your hand at something new.
>> Carly: Well, I haven't had any success yet, have I?
>> Jack: Yeah, well, when have you ever not gotten what you wanted?
>> Carly: Just the once.
>> J.J.: Dad!
>> Jack: Hey, buddy. Hey, listen -- instead of going bowling, can we maybe go to the drive-in instead?
>> J.J.: We just went to the drive-in with Mom and Simon.


Scene 4:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

SIMON FRASIER, MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Simon: You're a good man. Thank you. Problem solved. We're back in business.
>> Mike: How much did it cost?
>> Simon: Pardon me?
>> Mike: The bribe to get the inspection certificate.
>> Simon: You calling me a crook, Mike?
>> Mike: Yes, I am.
[ Katie walks in ]
>> Katie: Mike, you are never going to believe this. We've been having sex all -- wrong --

Scene 5:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Restaurant


JACK SNYDER, CARLY SNYDER, J.J.

>> Jack: That's keeping things professional? Going to the drive-in?
>> Carly: That was the shortest promise on record.
>> Jack: What movie did you see, J.J.?
>> J.J.: The one with the rabbit.
>> Jack: Oh, the rabbit. Did Simon like it?
>> J.J.: I guess so. He smiled a lot. But Parker got mad when he put his arm around --
>> Carly: Hey, why don't you guys go to the arcade? You could beat dad at "space fighter." Huh?
>> J.J.: Can we go? Can we go? Can we go?
>> Jack: Sure. Yeah.
>> Carly: Oh, that's great.
>> J.J.: Great!
>> Carly: Now, go get some quarters from Aunt Lisa, okay?
>> Jack: Here. Here. Clean her out. Go.
>> J.J.: Okay. Thanks, dad.
>> Jack: You got it.
>> Carly: It was a pity invite. He was feeling depressed about Katie --
>> Jack: Like I said, no lectures, no explanations.
>> Carly: Okay. So it's just drop-offs and pick-ups, and support checks and polite conversation from now on, huh?
>> Jack: Boy, I hope not.
>> Carly: Me, too.


Scene 6:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

SIMON FRASIER, MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Katie: I'm sorry. I thought you were alone.
>> Simon: No, hey, I could have told you you were doing it all wrong, too.
>> Katie: Oh, that's a good one.
>> Mike: Okay, let him be juvenile. Listen, give us a few minutes, okay?
>> Katie: All right, I'll meet you downstairs.
>> Mike: No, no, no. I don't want you going in the lobby. The building's unstable.
>> Simon: Oh, what a drama queen.
>> Katie: What? What's wrong?
>> Mike: I'll explain later. Look, whatever meeting you have tonight, cancel it. We're going to address this.
>> Simon: The sky's not falling, Mike. Have we got a few issues? Yeah, of course we do. Will they be fixed? In due time, yes. Just do your job and this project will make us both a small fortune, all right?
>> Katie: What is he up to?
>> Mike: Cutting corners -- big ones.
>> Katie: Can you call someone?
>> Mike: No, he already did -- to the building commission to pay someone off.
>> Katie: And what are you going to do?
>> Mike: I don't know yet. But if we weren't working on a family, I'd walk off this job tonight.


Scene 7:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Lakeview Towers Hotel Lounge

SIMON FRASIER, MIKE KASNOFF

>> Simon: Wow. First impression -- invest in this woman. She's going places.
>> Carly: First impression? Why does a man who has as much money as you have need investors in the first place?
>> Simon: Why play with your own money when you can spend someone else's.
>> Carly: Well, I have the sketches for the penthouse and the high-end units.
>> Simon: Great, great. And listen, it doesn't hurt that most of the investors we're meeting are men --
>> Carly: Oh, let's don't start that junk again, okay?
>> Simon: Oh, come on, you know what I'm saying. All I'm saying is if they like the woman behind the design boards, it can't hurt our chances.
>> Carly: Simon, I have a lot more than charm riding on this deal.
>> Simon: We both have a lot riding on this deal. This could be the first of many successes for us, Carly. Tonight -- is just the beginning.


Scene 8:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

KATIE KASNOFF, MIKE KASNOFF

>> Katie: If this job is dangerous, then why are you doing it? Why don't you just quit?
>> Mike: It's not that easy. Contractors don't want to finish jobs that other people started. And once I explain what's going on here, nobody will touch this place.
>> Katie: Well, what are your options?
>> Mike: I don't know. I'm not sure yet.
>> Katie: All right, well, let's just go home then and we can try out a couple of those new positions. And you can sleep on it.
>> Mike: All right, sure, but first I want to fill Carly in on what Simon's up to.

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August, 2006