EPISODE 8/17/06
Simon Is Shocked

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August, 2006


THURSDAY, AUGUST 17, 2006

Scene 1:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

SIMON FRASIER, MIKE KASNOFF

>> Simon: What are you doing?
>> Mike: Sanding down that joint.
>> Simon: I must say, it does look great.
>> Mike: Carly called for high gloss finish, so it has to be perfect.
>> Simon: Well, it does look perfect. Now take it down.
>> Mike: Excuse me?
>> Simon: Yeah, yeah, no, I'll need you to rip it down by the time the painters come in tomorrow morning. You and Katie didn't have any plans, did you?


Scene 2:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

SIMON FRASIER, MIKE KASNOFF

>> Simon: I'm really sorry about this, Mike. I really am.
>> Mike: No problem.
>> Simon: It's not that you didn't do a good job. I mean, it looks fantastic.
>> Mike: I know.
>> Simon: You know, it's just that Carly went to one of those design houses in New York City, and she just -- she decided on a whole different look for the place. That's all.
>> Mike: A designer changing her mind. What a surprise.
>> Simon: I appreciate how understanding you are being, Michael.
>> Mike: It's not my money she wasted.
>> Simon: Hey, oh, it's just really late notice. I mean, I would have come by earlier, I just got sidetracked with the investors.
>> Mike: All right, I know how that goes. You have the new plans?
>> Simon: First thing tomorrow morning.
>> Mike: Right.
>> Simon: So, you don't mind ripping down what you've already done?
>> Mike: No. Sure.
>> Simon: I hope I didn't stomp on any plans you might have. I would hate for you to be in bad words with Katie.
>> Mike: Katie knows not to count on anything when I'm working on a project. Right, do you have anything else? I want to get started.
>> Simon: Man, I really am sorry. I mean, god, it does look so good.
>> Mike: Well, not for long. I think you may want to take off.
>> Simon: No, I'm not in a hurry.
>> Mike: Well, that's just it. It's going to get a little bit loud.
[ A board clatters to the ground ]


Scene 3:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Apartment Building

SIMON FRASIER, MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF

[ Saw squealing ]
>> Mike: How many times do I have to tell you, don't do that. Don't sneak up on someone with a power saw.
>> Katie: I'm sorry. You scared me.
>> Mike: That's like the first rule of construction, baby. I can tell you horrible stories --
>> Katie: Okay, no, no, no. You are going to have to stop lecturing me on the safety rules of construction because you and I are going to have sex right now.
>> Mike: We are?
>> Katie: Mmm-hmm, so if I say I'm really, really, really, really sorry for breaking that cardinal rule, can you just drop the subject?
>> Mike: Yeah.
>> Katie: You look good dirty.
>> Mike: You look good, period. Do you want to go home?
>> Katie: No.
>> Mike: I was hoping you would say that. You know, sometimes you have the best ideas.
[Simon walks in ]


Scene 4:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Snyder House

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Carly: Hey, guys. That sweet cartoon musical is at the drive-in. So you get blankets and pillows and I'll pop the popcorn, okay?
[ Doorbell rings ]
>> Simon: Hey.
>> Carly: Oh, hi.
>> Simon: Bad time?
>> Carly: Well, probably. Because I hate to redo my work and that's probably what you want, right?
>> Simon: No, no, no, it's got nothing to do with your work. Your work's great. Your work's fine.
>> Carly: That's never stopped you before.
>> Simon: Maybe I just want to talk.
>> Carly: Talk to me? About what?
>> Simon: Well, you never did tell me what happened with Jack when you went to the hospital to play nurse.
>> Carly: Nothing. Nothing happened. You know, I didn't want to talk about it last night and I definitely don't want to talk about it now. So do you have anything about business that you want to discuss with me?
>> Simon: Not exactly, no.
>> Carly: Okay. Okay, well, it was nice to see you. And I'll see you tomorrow at work, then.
>> Simon: All right.
>> Carly: Okay?
>> Simon: Hey, listen, do you want to get dinner? Look, I'm starving. You got to eat too, right? Dinner.
>> Carly: No,no, no, I can't. I'm going to the drive-in with the kids.
>> Simon: I haven't been in years. Sounds like fun. I'll come with you.
[ Carly laughing ]
>> Carly: Simon. Two hours in a small car with squirming kids watching barnyard animals sing and dance and teach tolerance.
>> Simon: So why are you going to take them? Why are you going?
>> Carly: Loving my children. I happen to love them and I owe them because of all the work I've been doing. But for you, for someone like you, there's absolutely no reason in the world that you should even consider such a thing.
>> Simon: You're sure? Honestly? Because it really might take my mind off -- I want to just --
>> Carly: What? What is it?
>> Simon: All right. I saw Katie. With Mike. Doing it.


Scene 5:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Snyder House

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Carly: So you saw Mike and Katie -- going at it?
>> Simon: Going at it, yeah. Like rabbits.
>> Carly: Aw, that's too bad. I'm sorry. It must have been rough.
>> Simon: It must have been rough? That's your response?
>> Carly: What's wrong with that response?
>> Simon: Nothing, that's fair enough. I just half expected three snide comments at my expense followed by a tough "get over it."
>> Carly: I'm not like that. Okay, I'm like that. But --
>> Simon: But?
>> Carly: I saw Jack with a woman.
>> Simon: Eve? Oh no, not you, too. Come on. They weren't -- were they doing it?
>> Carly: No! Don't say that. Please, don't ever say that. No, no. But they were together. They were at the hospital and she was touching him. And she was flushed and giggly. So that's why I went and had a drink with you last night and that's why I'm being so beautifully compassionate now.
>> Simon: Well, I appreciate that. I really do. Thank you. And I'm sorry. She was flushed?
>> Carly: Yeah.
>> Simon: Well anyway, that's it for me. I mean, I am so glad I got that off my chest. Thank you.
>> Carly: Okay. Oh, so, hey. Simon, you want to come to that drive-in with us?
>> Simon: Huh?
>> Carly: The drive-in. You know, there's nothing like three very loud children and dancing roosters and a couple of chili dogs to get your mind off your problems. That is, if you think you can take it.
>> Simon: Oh, yeah. No, you had me at "dancing roosters."
>> Carly: Oh, Simon. This is going to be a night you'll never forget.

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August, 2006