EPISODE 8/14/06
Simon Proves His Case

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August, 2006


MONDAY, AUGUST 14, 2006

Scene 1:
Location: New York
Scene: Bar

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Carly: I love you, too. Well have a good time and behave yourselves. Bye.
>> Simon: So how is everything at home?
>> Carly: Fine. Just fine. The kids are okay with me having to stay in New York for another day.
>> Simon: Come on, I heard that. What did you bribe them with?
[ Carly laughs ]
>> Carly: FAO Schwarz and toys that cost more than these expensive shoes. But not more than that?
>> Simon: Wow, it's a nice piece. I was talking about the jewelry of course. So how much do you think something like that goes for?
>> Simon: All diamonds are running about $13,000 a karat in today's market. Ten of those stones look to be at least two karats, so were talking over a $250,000. That's if they're good clarity -- which they appear to be.
>> Carly: I am such an idiot.
>> Simon: Come on. No your not. You're the brightest women I know.
>> Carly: Really? Well if I'm so bright, then why did I think it would be a good idea to go in to business with a jewel thief?


Scene 2:
Location: New York
Scene: Bar

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Simon: No, my interest in jewels ended years ago.
>> Carly: Oh, not so many years ago. As I recall, when you first came to Oakdale you were trying to rip off Lily Snyder.
>> Simon: Youthful indiscretion. And where do you think I learned so much about business?
>> Carly: From being a common thief.
>> Simon: Common thief -- okay, there was nothing common about my technique. Oh, what you don't believe me? Alright then, always up for a challenge -- I'm gonna prove it to you. You mind if I borrow this.
>> Carly: Yes I do, I plan on drinking that?
>> Simon: Oh, that's okay, she's not gonna mind.
>> Carly: Who?
>> Simon: The woman's who's jewelry I'm gonna have in my hand in less than five minutes.
>> Carly: No, no, no -- you are insane if you think your gonna get away with that!
>> Simon: I'll tell you what let's make this interesting -- you got a watch, yeah -- put me on the clock. Where's your camera? Where's your camera?
>> Carly: Get out of there -- come on!
>> Simon: Take some happy snaps -- they're going to be way more interesting than all of these pictures of the statue of liberty. All right, ready? Five minutes -- start the clock.


Scene 3:
Location: New York
Scene: Bar

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

[ Simon talking softly ]
>> Simon: So, how'd it go?
>> Carly: Oh, well, 4 minutes, 37 seconds.
>> Simon: Bingo, new record.
>> Carly: But you don't have the --
>> Simon: Oh! Oh, you should put your hand out.
>> Carly: What?
>> Simon: Yeah. Give me your hand. Here.
[ Carly gasps ]
>> Simon: What are you doing?
>> Carly: What am I doing? What are you doing?
>> Simon: Did you get some pictures?
>> Carly: Yeah, as a matter of fact I did. And I ought to take them straight to the police.
>> Simon: Oh, it's not gonna do them any good. All they're gonna see is a very, very friendly conversation.
>> Carly: The shawl. When you were helping with her shawl, that's when you took the necklace, isn't it?
>> Simon: She didn't feel a thing.
>> Carly: She will. She's gonna feel a heck of a lot when she realizes it's gone and starts screaming bloody murder. Where did she go?
>> Simon: Oh, her friendly waiter told her that she had a phone call at the front desk.
>> Carly: Unbelievable.
>> Simon: But fast. Come on. Come here. You're not gonna let all my efforts go to waste are you?
>> Carly: Put that thing away!
>> Simon: You sure you're not gonna change your mind?
>> Carly: Of course I'm not. Unlike you, I have an understanding of the basic concept of -- of right and wrong. And this is wrong! It's wrong of me to even be here and I'm going back to the room.
>> Simon: Just wait. You're gonna see something in -- five, four, three, two --
>> Woman: Help me, please! I've been robbed!


Scene 4:
Location: New York
Scene: Bar

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Woman: It was a gift from my husband. I can never replace it.
>> Carly: Are you gonna stand here and watch her suffer like that?
>> Simon: Mm -- no, you're right, enough's enough. I'll -- ma'am, excuse me. Oh, thank god you're still here. I've been looking everywhere for you. Is this yours?
>> Woman: Oh!
>> Simon: It is? Yes.
>> Woman: Bless you, bless you. Where did you find it?
>> Simon: Once you left, I was cleaning off the tablecloth and I -- it was underneath the table on the floor.
>> Woman: Oh, my god. I don't understand how it could have fallen off.
>> Simon: Oh, you see here. I think the clasps have come a little loose right there. I really think you should get that looked at.
>> Woman: I will, I will. I will take it to my jeweler first thing. Thank you so much.
>> Simon: Good idea. Pleasure.
>> Woman: You don't know what this means to me. This wonderful man saved my life tonight.
>> Carly: Oh, did he? How heroic.
>> Woman: He was indeed. And I hope you will allow me to reward you.
Simon: What?
>> Carly: Oh, no, no, no.
>> Simon: A cash reward?
>> Carly: Of course not, no.
>> Simon: Oh that is very generous.
>> Woman: It's the least I do. You returned one of my most precious possessions. I insist.
>> Simon: Well --
>> Carly: No, absolutely not! Really. Unnecessary.
>> Woman: I bet your pardon.
>> Simon: Ma'am, you don't think I deserve a cash reward?
>> Carly: I know exactly what you deserve.
>> Woman: Are you sure you won't accept --
>> Carly: Yes, positive.
>> Simon: Don't need it.
>> Carly: Thank you.
>> Simon: My pleasure.
>> Carly: You were actually gonna let that woman pay you --
>> Simon: No.
>> Carly: For robbing her?
>> Simon: I wasn't gonna take her money.
[ Carly sighs ] No, not at all. Although, I think it would have made her very happy.
>> Carly: You are incorrigible.
>> Simon: But good. And how was that time?
>> Carly: All right, so you beat the five-minute deadline, big whoop.
>> Simon: Come on. Even you're allowed to admit something every now and again. That was pretty impressive.
>> Carly: Okay, fine. Fine. You're good.
>> Simon: Good? Oh, you have no idea.

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August, 2006