EPISODE 8/08/06
Simon Loses An Employee, Again!

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Simonscript
August, 2006


TUESDAY, AUGUST 8, 2006

Scene 1:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Kasnoff's Cottage

MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Mike: I can't -- I can't -- seriously, I can't eat anymore.
>> Katie: Are you kidding me? I made these myself! One more --
>> Mike: All right, put them in the freezer. We'll have them for next month's anniversary.
>> Katie: Freezer burned strawberries? Ugh --
>> Mike: Baby, it's not about the food. Come on, let's move this party out to the deck.
>> Katie: Mmm, our deck with very special powers?
>> Mike: Yes, I built them in.
>> Katie: Maybe we should call Carly first.
>> Mike: -- Thing in the morning?
>> Katie: She quit her job because of us -- [ Mike sighs ] Mike!
>> Mike: She quit her job because she didn't want Simon using her, okay? No more talking about Simon. How about just don't talk, period? [ Phone rings ] Let -- let it go to the answering machine.
>> Katie: Could be Carly.
>> Mike: Could be.
[ Phone rings ] Okay, all right. Why don't you just get some more champagne, and I'll just be a second.
>> Katie: Okay.
>> Mike: Hello? No, the permits are being pulled tomorrow. I haven't talked to Frasier. He did? When? Are you sure about that? No, thanks, I'll handle it.
>> Katie: Problem?
>> Mike: You're never gonna guess who's with Simon in New York.


Scene 2:
Location: New York
Scene: Carly's Hotel Room

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER, JACK SNYDER

[ Jack on the phone ]
>> Jack: Where's Carly?
>> Simon: Oh, hey, Jack. Listen, mate, she's a little busy at the moment. Can I take a message?
>> Jack: What are you doing answering her phone, Simon?
>> Simon: Well, that's a pretty odd message, but I'll write it down if you want.
>> Jack: Where is she, Frasier?
>> Simon: Well, technically, she's in the bathroom -- but I was being a gentleman. But I'll be sure to let her know you called.
>> Jack: Don't bother.
>> Carly: Is that my phone?
>> Simon: Oh, yeah, you -- you had a call.
>> Carly: What? Turn down the music. And you answered it? Was it the kids?
>> Simon: No, it was -- it was Jack. I told him you'd call him back when he lightened up a bit.
>> Carly: Come on, what did you really tell him?
>> Simon: What did I tell him? That's right -- I told him that you were in the bathroom. And then, when I said that, he got really surly.
>> Carly: Now, you listen to me, bub -- don't you ever speak for me again. You got me? Not ever.


Scene 3:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Kasnoff's Cottage

MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF

>> Katie: Carly can't be in New York with Simon. She quit!
>> Mike: Not according to my foreman.
>> Katie: Well, your foreman's wrong. You saw how angry she was at the Lakeview. She's not gonna go work for him again after yelling at him like that.
>> Mike: Okay, what can I tell you? She flew to New York with Simon.
>> Katie: Oh, man, he must have really poured on the charm.
>> Mike: Where are my keys?
>> Katie: Table.
>> Mike: Thank you.
>> Katie: Why do you have to go?
>> Mike: My lumber supplier's dropping off the delivery tonight.
>> Katie: Tonight?
>> Mike: Yes, I want to make sure its there, make sure there are no problems, no delays. I'll be back as soon as its delivered.
>> Katie: What was that at the Lakeview? Was that for our benefit, was that part of some bigger plan?
>> Mike: I don't know and I don't care.
>> Katie: Well, you should. Simon's rich now, he can buy problems.
>> Mike: Look, you know what? He can't buy happiness. Okay? Carly is a big girl --
>> Katie: Yeah, who's in way over her head.
>> Mike: She can handle Simon, you saw that.
>> Katie: What if she can't?
>> Mike: Well, then I'm there for back up, okay? But that's it. It's not our life, baby. I'm not gonna take away time from us or our marriage. I'm putting all my energy right here where it belongs.


Scene 4:
Location: New York
Scene: Carly's Hotel Room

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Carly: What if something's wrong with the kids? Or what if Jack's at the farm and they just want to say goodnight?
>> Simon: So call back and say goodnight.
>> Carly: You just don't get it.
>> Simon: Frankly, no.
>> Carly: It could have been important.
>> Simon: So he'll call back.
>> Carly: No, he's not gonna call back, because now he's mad!
>> Simon: That's a stunning dress.
>> Carly: We're not talking about dresses, Simon!
>> Simon: I'm just saying, you look amazing in it, that's all.
>> Carly: Just stop it! And you stay out of my marriage, and stop look --
>> Simon: You were saying?
>> Carly: I don't suppose you got an evening bag that goes with this dress?
>> Simon: Yeah, actually I do. I picked one out. It's -- by the phone.
>> Carly: Great taste.
>> Simon: In all things.
>> Carly: Simon, from now on, just don't touch anything of mine that is ringing or chiming or vibrating, okay?
>> Simon: Yeah. Yeah, no, I got it. I hear you loud and clear. And I promise, now matter how much you ring, chime or vibrate, I won't lay a hand on you.


Scene 5:
Location: Oakdale
Scene: Kasnoff's Cottage

MIKE KASNOFF, KATIE KASNOFF, KIM HUGHES

>> Katie: I'm not wasting my energy on Simon.
>> Mike: Much --
>> Katie: I was thinking of us.
>> Mike: While talking about Simon.
>> Katie: Now that Carly's back in the mix, it's just gonna be harder for you to do your job, keep your head down and walk away.
>> Mike: That's my plan.
>> Katie: What if Simon pulls something?
>> Mike: I'm not gonna live my life worrying about what Simon will or won't do. It just gives him too much power. All right, look, I gotta get to the site. I'll be back home soon. And I love you.
>> Katie: And I love you.
>> Mike: Why don't you bring those strawberries upstairs for later?
[ Knock at the door ]
>> Kim: Hi.
>> Katie: Hi, Kim.
>> Kim: Did I just see Mike on his way out?
>> Katie: Yeah, he had to do some work tonight.
>> Kim: Oh, is it okay if I come in?
>> Katie: Yeah, yeah, come on in.
>> Kim: Thank you.
>> Katie: Please, sit down. Have some chocolate covered strawberries and champagne.
>> Kim: Holy smokes, you celebrating?
>> Katie: Three month anniversary.
>> Kim: Oh, that's sweet. I remember those days.
>> Katie: So, what are you doing out so late?
>> Kim: Actually, I just came from the studio. Ted Murphy was supposed to fly to the affiliates meeting tonight.
>> Katie: Oh, yeah, right. He mentioned it.
>> Kim: Yeah, except he ended up in the hospital with an appendicitis attack.
>> Katie: Oh, god. Is he okay?
>> Kim: Yeah, he's gonna be fine. He's in surgery at the moment. But, unfortunately the other staff is out at that convention in San Diego and I'm looking for somebody to fill in for Ted.
>> Katie: You want me to do it? I'm not really into pr and all that stuff.
>> Kim: Well, actually, it's pretty straightforward. I mean, I did bring his complete presentation. However, the important thing is just for you to meet the other reps from the other stations and get to know them. Find out what they're thinking about and tell them about us. You'd be a perfect person to do that.
>> Katie: And this is where they're holding it?
>> Kim: Yeah. If you're interested, you'd have to leave for the airport right away.
>> Katie: I'm in. I'm always up for new challenge.
>> Kim: Oh, wonderful! Oh, boy, do I owe you one. I hope Mike isn't gonna be really upset.
>> Katie: I'll call him from the airport.
>> Kim: Well, listen, when you do, tell him I said I'm really sorry for raining on your parade.
>> Katie: No, actually, your timing couldn't have been more perfect.


Scene 6:
Location: New York
Scene: Carly's Hotel Room

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER, JACK SNYDER

>> Carly: Obviously, we need to set some ground rules here.
>> Simon: Fun.
>> Carly: What?
>> Simon: Fun. That was the first ground rule we set, remember? Oh, no, wait. The first rule we set was no mention of the word Katie. Whoops. My bad. I always slip up on that one. But after that it was have fun, right?
>> Carly: Simon, I did not come here just to have fun.
>> Simon: Absolutely right. You're 100% right. No, you are here because you're a much-needed partner in a very important business venture. But, come on, Carly, work is more than just about more than paying the bills.
>> Carly: Spoken like a man who doesn't have any. I cannot be bought.
>> Simon: Well, good, I'm not in the market.
>> Carly: So then we're clear.
>> Simon: Crystal clear. My turn? Give me turn.
>> Carly: If you must?
>> Simon: Good, I've been waiting for this. All right, no matter how long the hours you work or how tough the assignment I reserve the right -- the right to appreciate you as a beautiful and dynamic woman.
>> Carly: No! Stop saying things like that!
>> Simon: What -- too personal, right? All right. How about this one? I expect great things from you, professionally speaking of course.
>> Carly: You know, spending time with you is like swimming through mud. I don't even know which direction I'm going.
>> Simon: Straight to the top.
>> Carly: Let's just keep it simple, okay? I work, you pay me. That's it. No more gifts. No more wardrobes. No more using me to try and make Katie jealous. No answering my phones. No more butting into my life or into my business.
>> Simon: All right, that's four rules. That is way over the legal limit. Can we please just go and get a drink.
>> Carly: You're just exhausting!
>> Simon: It's just a talent I have, that's all.
>> Carly: Stop humoring me! I do not want to be humored! You know something? I'm really sick of this. I've had it! And I quit -- again!
>> Simon: Again? You know what? Wait, wait, wait, just stay -- Carly, best of luck with whatever you do. Honestly, you know, safe trip and oh, wait, you forgot something. Take care.
[ Simon closes the door. ]


Scene 7:
Location: New York
Scene: Carly's Hotel Room

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

[ Knock at door ]
>> Simon: Oh, hey. Back so soon?
>> Carly: Get out.
>> Simon: What --
>> Carly: You're in my room. I'd like you to get out!
>> Simon: So, you're staying?
>> Carly: I'm staying.
>> Simon: Me too. Or did you forget that my suite's flooded and there are no other rooms in the hotel?
>> Carly: I'll call down for a rollaway bed.
>> Simon: It's a great idea. Terrific. And since you're accepting my hospitality, please, will you just do me the honor of accepting all these other gifts?
>> Carly: I will work for every piece of clothing you bought.
>> Simon: I'd expect nothing less.
>> Carly: Good.
>> Simon: Oh, I still can't figure you out.
>> Carly: Many have tried.
>> Simon: Oh. See, see, what I'm trying to figure out is that, are you the woman that jumped on my plane for a New York adventure, or the one who got her panties in a twist because I dared to speak to her on-again/off-again husband?
>> Carly: No, no. Will you leave my panties out of it? You stay on your side of the playground.
>> Simon: See, you're not angry at me, Carly. No, no, no. You're angry at yourself.
>> Carly: Oh really? Tell me all about that, Dr. Freud.
>> Simon: Well, it's because you still don't know who you want to be -- strong, independent woman, or Jack Snyder's wife.
>> Carly: That's it.
>> Simon: What? Don't. You're calling security? No!
>> Carly: Room service. You buying?
>> Simon: Yeah, yeah. Listen I'll do it. I'll do it. I owe you a bottle anyway. No dish washing required this time.
>> Carly: I like my champagne dry.
>> Simon: All right. Well, I assume this means I'm staying?
>> Carly: You may as well. And you're right. I want to be both. Jack's wife and independent. Turns out, you can't have it all.
>> Simon: No, turns out you can. You just have to have the right teacher. Carly, working for me doesn't require you to open a vein.
>> Carly: My veins appreciate that.
>> Simon: But if you are ready to start a whole new chapter of your life --
>> Carly: Ready? Yes. Able -- that's another story. So far, my life adds up to a few half-baked successes in the fashion world, and a failed marriage. Dazzled yet?
>> Simon: Well, your fashion success was not half-baked. And it set the stage for a spectacular career in interior design. Quick, difference between marketing and a con game?
>> Carly: Beats me.
>> Simon: Nothing. Now be quiet. CTS designs --
>> Carly: Carly Tenney Snyder?
>> Simon: Shh!
>> Carly: I like it.
>> Simon: I'm trying to create here. CTS designs, the fastest developing interior design consultant to both home and business is led by the brilliantly talented, Carly Tenney Snyder. Who built her empire on --
>> Carly: Wait. I have an empire?
>> Simon: You just can't stop yourself, can you?
>> Carly: No.
>> Simon: Do you want an empire or not?
>> Carly: I would love it! How you like my logo?
>> Simon: I think it's perfect. I just got one question to ask you Carly. Very important. Money, fame, exotic locations. Do you think you could handle it?
>> Carly: It sounds amazing.
>> Carly: And what about my clients?
>> Simon: Oh, your clients. Kings, sheiks, American royalty.
>> Carly: I sound powerful. I like power.
>> Simon: Powerful? You are very powerful.
>> Carly: I love it!
>> Simon: Very powerful!
>> Carly: I love it! I love being powerful!
>> Simon: Good! Now you're finally getting it. Yeah.


Scene 8:
Location: Oakdale Airport
Scene: Plane Cabin

KATIE KASNOFF, MIKE KASNOFF, FLIGHT ATTENDANT

>> Flight attendant: You'll need to put your seat in the upright position. We'll be taking off in a few minutes.
>> Katie: Thank you.
>> Flight attendant: Is this your first trip to New York?
>> Katie: No, but it could be my most interesting.
[ Back at Kasnoff's Cottage ]
Mike: Katie?
[ Answer machine playing ]
Katie: Hey babe, it's me. Kim stopped by and needed me to cover for the station at an affiliates meeting in New York. So I will call you as soon as I land. I love you.
[ Answering machine beeps ]


Scene 9:
Location: New York
Scene: Carly's Hotel Room

SIMON FRASIER, CARLY SNYDER

>> Carly: Know something? I'm getting pretty sick of champagne.
>> Simon: You know what? So am I.
>> Carly: And it's a beautiful New York City night.
>> Simon: Yes, it is.
>> Carly: So then, why aren't we out there enjoying it?
>> Simon: What are we doing inside? You're exactly right. Dinner? Dancing?
>> Carly: Yeah, let's get out there and spend a little of your money.
>> Simon: Sounds good. Mademoiselle, your chariot awaits.

Home
Simonscript
August, 2006