EPISODE 4/3/02
Simon Learns That Dahlia Is Missing
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April, 2002
WEDNESDAY, April 3, 2002
Scene 1:
Location: The Cottage
SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, MARGO HUGHES
[ Simon walks into the cottage and whistles to the sight of Katie measuring for curtains ]
>> Katie: Ah, see? I told you my workout worked.
>> Simon: Ooh, yes, it does. As long as this doesn't become Katie Frasier's window bustin' workout.
>> Katie: No, this is Katie making curtains.
>> Simon: Oh. Oh, I'm having Bert's Garage flashbacks.
>> Katie: Oh, no, no. These will be much better. Don't worry. You were so right.
>> Simon: Careful! Take an eye out.
>> Katie: You were so right about this cottage. With us fixing it up, it's gonna change everything. We'll look at
those curtains and the walls and the floor, and we'll know that we made this happen. It's our own little love
shack.
>> Simon: You are amazing. Do you know that?
>> Katie: Am I?
>> Simon: Yes, you are. And I am so proud of you.
>> Katie: Are you?
>> Simon: Yes. I think that I kind of got lost over the last couple of weeks.You know, I was so angry at Dahlia --
>> Katie: Ah, ah, ah -- no. Thou shalt not say the "D" word in the love shack.
>> Simon: Lips are sealed. No "D" word. But you are a star, Katie. And I'm sorry that I didn't say that, and I'm sorry for
wrecking your
party.
>> Katie: You're forgiven. Okay?
>> Simon: Oh, I have to leave.
>> Katie: No!
>> Simon: Yes. I have to go apologize to Isaac and Lisa.
>> Katie: No, no, no. I wanted to go get our wedding gifts. I have this desperate need to blend something.
>> Simon: Oh -- we'll blend something. Believe you. Later.
>> Katie: I'm scared. [ Simon leaves ] Window busting. Hey, there is no reason that Katie Frasier cannot have her own
home line. Yes.
No, lifestyle line. Lifestyle line -- [ pulls out a tape recorder and dictates notes ] the Katie Frasier lifestyle line.
With a cookbook. A whole chapter dedicated to blenders. This is good. Okay. "Window Buster." "Home Buster."
No. God, that sounds like "homewrecker." Um -- "fixer-upper." No. "Homebody." Yes, that's good. Okay, I can just
see it now. Me, muscles, hard hats.
[ Knock at door ] Margo! Oh, hey, you're just in time. Okay, listen to this. Picture this -- me, cargo pants, but
fitted, low on the hips. One of those belts with the hammer in it. And half a dozen construction guys, no shirts.
Maybe --
>> Margo: Katie.
>> Katie: Some tank tops or something.
>> Margo: Katie, Katie.
>> Katie: Hey, wait. How'd you find me here?
>> Margo: Lucy told me.
>> Katie: Oh. I'm sorry I haven't called you yet about it. I'm going -- I was going to. We're gonna have, like, an open
house as soon as we
get everything fixed up, but we just don't --
>> Margo: Katie, it's not a social call. I came to talk to you about Simon and Dahlia Ventura -- and this. [ Margo shows
Katie one of the
incriminating newspaper headlines that she found at the accident scene ]
Scene 2:
Location: Java Underground
SIMON FRASIER, ISAAC JENKINS, LISA MITCHELL
>> Lisa: You know something, Isaac Jenkins? You may be a lot of things, but I have never taken you for a stupid
man.
>> Isaac: No, because a stupid man wouldn't read the -- writin' on the wall, okay?A stupid man would go chasing
after -- I don't know what, instead of looking at the hundreds of thousands of opportunities that exist.
>> Lisa: Yeah.
>> Isaac: The fine, young, ripe opportunities.
>> Lisa: Yeah, you just -- you keep this up. You keep this up, and I'll think Bonnie had every right to leave you.
>> Simon: Hey, Lisa --
>> Lisa: Yeah, yeah, hi.
>> Simon: I really wanted to -- so are you mad at me, too?
>> Isaac: You had yourself a night. It happens.
>> Simon: Look, it shouldn't have happened. And it's not going to happen again. I'm really very sorry.
>> Isaac: It's cool. Okay? You and Katie all right?
>> Simon: Ah, we're good. We're good. And Dahlia's gone, never to return.
>> Isaac: How'd you manage that?
>> Simon: Well, let's just say that Dahlia's no longer a problem.
Scene 3:
Location: Java Underground
SIMON FRASIER, ISAAC JENKINS, LISA MITCHELL
>> Isaac: I'm glad that you and Katie worked things out. You've got a lot going -- the house and that video thing -- which,
by the way, I
think is gonna be a major hit.
>> Simon: Yeah, no, I hope so. But, you know if it doesn't work out whatever. I mean, we still got each other, right?
>> Lisa: There's a man who has his priorities in order.
>> Simon: Lisa, what I was trying to say -- I'm so sorry about last night --
>> Lisa: Oh, don't apologize. You were doing something -- taking up for the you love, unlike Isaac, who just let Bonnie go
without a
word.
>> Isaac: That's nice, Lisa. Just spread my business all over town --
>> Lisa: All right, honey, I will.
>> Isaac: Women -- they stick together.
>> Simon: Whoa, what happened?
>> Isaac: You know, planes? Bonnie took one, straight to Scotland, I guess. Or should I say Duchess MacLaren has
returned to her roots.
>> Simon: What, is she marrying this guy?
>> Isaac: If that's what it takes. I'm definitely not going to come between a woman and her tiara. That's what she wants --
>> Simon: Well, what do you want?
>> Isaac: Me.
>> Simon: No, no, yeah, you. What do you want?
>> Isaac: What are we on "Oprah" here or what?
>> Simon: It's just a question.
>> Isaac: That I'm not gonna answer.
>> Simon: Why? Oh, come on. Don't be gutless.
>> Isaac: Gutless? That's nice. Mr. Disrespect his lady in front of the whole town is gonna give me love life advice?
>> Simon: I apologized for that. We're moving on.
>> Isaac: Oh, that's nice.
>> Simon: Come on, don't be stupid, about this. If you like this girl --
>> Isaac: Okay, look. Now that's the second time today somebody's called me stupid --
>> Simon: Then maybe you start to listen. Look, all I'm saying is that if I'd let Katie walk away -- she'd be gone. Just like
Bonnie.
Scene 4:
Location: Java Underground
SIMON FRASIER, ISAAC JENKINS
>> Simon: You remember Bruno?
>> Isaac: Ah, Mr. Kiss-Me-I'm-Italian? Who could ever forget Bruno?
>> Simon: Yeah, that's the one. Katie goes away to St. Marten with him for a weekend, right? Now, I could've let it go.
She wants to be
with him, fine. I'm done. The thing is, Katie was only trying to provoke me into a reaction about how I felt about
her.
>> Isaac: And that's the female way. They don't get what they want, they start playing games. I'm not playin' any
games.
>> Simon: Then you're not gonna win.
>> Isaac: Fine.
>> Simon: Is it?
>> Isaac: Let me tell you somethin', brother. They get you down on your knees, you ain't never getting up.
>> Simon: Look, she is down there with you. That's what it's all about. Come on, Isaac. Are you really willing to let Bonnie
go?
Scene 5:
Location: Java Underground
SIMON FRASIER, ISAAC JENKINS, KATIE FRASIER
>> Isaac: If Bonnie wants a fairy tale, she went to the right place. Me? I live in the real world.
>> Simon: In the real world, yeah right here, all by yourself.
>> Isaac: Not for long, friend. Not for long.
>> Simon: Look, if that's what you want, fine. But I kinda gathered that you wanted more out of life than that.
>> Isaac: It takes two.
>> Simon: Well, just don't count her out. That's all I'm saying.
[ Katie comes rushing in the front door ]
>> Katie: Oh, Simon! I'm so glad I found you. We've gotta go. Sorry, Isaac --
>> Simon: What's going on?
>> Katie: I don't have time to explain. Just trust me. You've gotta get out of here. Go.
Scene 6:
Location: Java Underground
SIMON FRASIER, KATIE FRASIER, MARGO HUGHES
>> Simon: Whoa.
>> Katie: I don't have time to explain, Simon. Let's go.
>> Simon: I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on.
>> Katie: All right, fine. Dahlia is missing. Her car was found abandoned near our cottage. And Margo wants to
interrogate you, now.
>> Simon: What?
>> Margo: You heard her. You know, not only should I haul you in for lying to a police officer, but Katie -- you ran a red
light at
Pinewood.
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April, 2002