EPISODE 4/16/01
Simon Talks To Rose

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April, 2001


MONDAY, APRIL 16, 2001

Scene 1:
Location: Java Coffee Shop building - downstairs.
Scene: Java Underground

MISS ROSE D'ANGELO AND ISAAC JENKINS

SIMON FRAISER WALKS IN.

>> Isaac: Simon. What's up, man?
>> Simon: Hey, man.
>> Isaac: What can I get you?
>> Simon: Hello, Rose.
>> Rose: Hello, Simon.
>> Simon: Just a beer would be fine, please. Thanks.
>> Rose: Not home with the little woman tonight, Simon?
>> Simon: Please, can you not say that?
>> Isaac: There you go.

ROSE D'ANGELO AND SIMON FRAISER

[Simon walks over to a bar stool and Rose follows him.]

>> Rose: We gotta be realistic here, you know. The two of us -- we're batting zero in the love department. I think this is the part of the conversation we say, "I told you so" to each other.
>> Simon: Yes, yeah. I know we both should've known that Holden and Lily were fizzlers from the get-go. You know, what actually gets me the most is that Katie was actually right. She said that no matter what, those two would always end up back together.
>> Rose: I guess hell's gonna freeze over next.
>> Simon: I don't doubt it. So tell me. Is it back to the boardwalk plaza hotel for the dancing Miss D'Angelo?
>> Rose: Oh, maybe, maybe. We'll see.
>> Simon: Maybe, when you get back there, you'll find another diamond in the family attic in Hoboken.
>> Rose: Oh, no chance of that. Nothing but Neil Diamond vinyls worth about a buck fifty.
>> Simon: So what? You're giving up on grabbing the good life?
>> Rose: Are you -- hey, Rose D'Angelo, I never give up.
>> Simon: I don't know. It sounds to me like Lucinda got her way.
>> Rose: Lucinda? Lucinda?
>> Simon: Yeah, face it. You got exactly what Lily and her mother thought you were worth -- a big doughnut hole, not even the bus fare back to New Jersey. Lucinda's not gonna get off that easy with me. When I leave this town, it's gonna be with a solid gold payoff.
>> Rose: What are you gonna do? Rattle the old bird's cage?
>> Simon: Yeah, and I figure she owes me big, and I plan on making her pay right through the nose.

Scene 2:

Location: Java Coffee Shop building - downstairs.
Scene: Java Underground

ROSE D'ANGELO AND SIMON FRAISER

>> Rose: You better know where la Walsh has those bodies buried, or else she's gonna feed your beautiful bones to those guard dogs. Trust me. I tried to sue her before. It did not work. Trust me.
>> Simon: Oh, please. Lucinda can tie me up in a lawsuit from now until the new millennium.
>> Rose: Tell me, what are you gonna do to make her sweat?
>> Simon: That, I don't know. Look, I already drove a car straight through the front of her house, and she didn't even flinch.
>> Rose: Yeah, she probably wanted to redecorate anyway.
>> Simon: If only I was two decades older, it would be a piece of cake. Even that old battle ax must crave a little male companionship.
>> Rose: Can you not do that? I have a -- I got an empty stomach. But I am sensing something. Are you going retro on me? You're sounding awful like that guy that I met back in jersey that would do anything for a fortune.
>> Simon: Life was a lot simpler before love came into the picture.
>> Rose: Aw.
>> Simon: Yeah. And let's be honest. What has love gotten me lately?
>> Rose: Stuck married to the girl voted most likely to be a born-again virgin to the next dumb dingo with a backseat in his car?
>> Simon: Exactly.
>> Rose: Come on, I can see the smoke coming out of your ears. Come on, tell me what your plan is. Hand to god, I won't tell anybody. I swear.

ISAAC JENKINS WALKS OVER.

>> Isaac: All right. Who's ready for a refill?
>> Simon: I'm fine.
>> Isaac: Did Rose tell you her plan to go back to the casinos?
>> Simon: Yeah, so she said.
>> Rose: Oh, I don't know about that. I mean, gravity is a showgirl's worst nightmare. You got your thighs down by your ankles, and by that time, you're dancing in front of all these old guys pulled up in wheelchairs in the front row. I don't know about that.
>> Simon: Nice.
>> Isaac: You know, you're more than welcome to work here as a waitress. I could use the help. I mean, if you wanted to, you could start tonight before the gravity hits.
>> Rose: Oh, thanks. I'll think about that. But I still have one more card to play. I'll see you later. Thanks.
>> Isaac: Yeah. Take care.
>> Simon: I'll see you around.

ROSE D'ANGELO LEAVES.

>> Simon: Hey, look, Isaac, you got a sec?
>> Isaac: Yeah, what's up?
>> Simon: I kind of really need your help. I'm looking for a woman.
>> Isaac: Hey, aren't we all?
>> Simon: No, wait. Someone hired me to find her.
>> Isaac: Who?
>> Simon: Her name's Ruby.
>> Isaac: No, who hired you to find her?
>> Simon: Craig Montgomery.
>> Isaac: No, no, that smells like trouble.
>> Simon: No, just -- do you know where I might be able to find her?
>> Isaac: Why don't you try the local bars? She's probably in the bathroom claiming to find some expensive bracelet.
>> Simon: What? You lost me here. What?
>> Isaac: See, she finds this expensive bracelet, then she sells it to the mark. Before he knows it, he tries to resell the bracelet, and it's worthless. And she dashes off with the cash.
>> Simon: Nice girl.
>> Isaac: Very nice. What does Craig what with her? Oh, don't tell me. She pulled one over on the big guy?
>> Simon: Thanks for the lead.
>> Isaac: You know what, Simon? Let me give you some free advice. Stay clear of Montgomery. Craig only looks out for one person, and that's Craig.
>> Simon: That's fine, man. You worry too much.

Scene 3:

Location: Yo's bar.

BARTENDER AND MISS RUBY FRANK

>> Bartender: Hello. And what can I get for you?
[Ruby holds up a rhinestone bracelet]
>> Ruby: I found this on the sink in the ladies room.
>> Bartender: There's a guy that was in here a little while ago with his mother. I couldn't figure out why he'd bring a woman like her into a place like this, you know. But he said they were lost, needed directions. Anyway, she starts going off about losing some bracelet. I just thought she was nuts.
>> Ruby: She's not nuts. No wonder she was upset. Look at this.

SIMON FRAISER WATCHING FROM NEARBY.

>> Bartender: Yeah, it must be worth a small fortune.
>> Ruby: At least. So when did they leave?
>> Bartender: A little while ago.
>> Ruby: I wonder what we should do about this?

Scene 4:
Location: Yo's bar.

BARTENDER AND MISS RUBY FRANK


>> Ruby: It's a joke, right? Have you taken a good look at this bracelet?
>> Bartender: Look, you want the 500 bucks or not?
>> Ruby: I'll pawn it before I give it away.

SIMON FRAISER WALKS UP.

>> Simon: Do you mind if I take a look? Sorry, I couldn't help overhearing. It looks like a nice piece, one of a kind.
>> Ruby: Are you an expert or something?
>> Simon: Ah, yeah, yeah. I used to work for a diamond merchant. And we'd rate the stones for clarity, cut, brilliance -- that kind of thing. I could probably figure out what it's worth if you want me to.
>> Ruby: I already know what it's worth. The deal's off anyway.
>> Bartender: Suit yourself.
>> Simon: That guy's a dud. I could've really made a nice profit.
>> Ruby: He wanted it for nothing.
>> Simon: You were smart to hold on to it. I tell you what, tonight doesn't have to be a complete waste. How about I buy you a drink?
>> Ruby: Sure, why not?

Scene 5:
Location: Yo's bar.

SIMON FRAISER AND MISS RUBY FRANK

>> Simon: To priceless jewelry.
>> Ruby: To a great price.
>> Simon: I'm sure you'll make out on the deal.
>> Ruby: I always do.
>> Simon: Confidence. That's very attractive, not that you need any help in that department whatsoever.
>> Ruby: You sound like a man of experience.
>> Simon: Yes, and a man who makes a practice never to drink with a lady without first knowing her name.
>> Ruby: It's Ruby.
>> Simon: Like the beautiful jewel itself.
>> Ruby: So, how would you rate me on your scale? Clarity? Brilliance?
>> Simon: Way, way off the charts.
>> Ruby: What else do you see?
>> Simon: A woman who doesn't want to be alone tonight.


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April, 2001